((((kev)))) just hang in there, you will be OK, ste

(((kevin))) i sorry u had 2 go thu that but i glad u lettin it out. u doin good kevin. Keep rite'in.

hey Kev , glad u had a good weekend. My T told me wen i first startd to keep like a list tht i jus keep add to of good things thta go on in my life, even if they small. or jus things that r good or fun. then T say wen thm bad days hit read the things on the good list n it help push the bad stuff out ur head. this weeknd sound like it somethin u can put on a good list, maybe it will help u on a ruff day, ur bro jake

Kev, yeah, keep on the good stuff njoy life, it is yours to live, it is good n it is fun.
Cow tipping is dangerous tho, best they dont see ya do it, cos they get U back bigstyle.

ste

Hay Kev,

I know you do not know me but I just got done reading your journal posts and just wanted to say I am amazed at your strength and courage in taking the journey to becoming a survivor. I am going to send you a pm to give you more feedback on all that you wrote but for hear I just want to say that you are an incredable person and by doing this at least for me you give me strength and encouragement to be strong. Thank you my friend for that needed boost of strength.

malidin

Kev, your brothers love you, both at home and in here, your dad loves you and he cares.
None of this was ever your fault, but you blame it on yourself, just as we all do.
Yeah, its hard to get thru, it is even harder for a boy to say he has been raped, in front of cops, who just dont know what it means.
It is extremely humiliating to the boy, especially when people in authority deny it.
You write your journal the way it should be written, because it is the way it happened.
I think that the cops and people need to address the way they treat boys, but they dont know so much of the issues surrounding boyhood rape.
When the boy is seen as willing and stuff like that, it really freaks me out, get real cops, and the World, boys dont ask for it.
You didnt kev, so take the blame off yourself, and put it where it belongs.
I know that nothing or nobody seems to make sense of it, but I think the guys in here have some understanding.

you are never alone,

ste

Hello my friend,

As I read your 8th journal entry i can't help but wonder what exactly you feel like is your fault. I want to respond appropriatly to what you are feeling but I feel I can't without more details as to what is going on. I just want to know wheather you went and stole a piece of candy or wheather you are thinking that what happened to you was your fault. If you stole the candy (lol) then yes that would have been your fault but if you are talking about the abuse you endured then no, not in anyway at all was that your fault. You have no blame when it comes to the abuse that your perpetrator inflicted upon you.

malidin

Big Kev,

Take it real slow with your T OK. When I saw mine last week and started to talk about you know who, she cautioned me to take it real real slow for my own sanity.

Just remember when we talk to our T we are in control of the conversation and if we don't like a ? they are asking, we have the right to say no or not yet. To me personally this the only control I have in my cahotic world and I intend to keep it.

(Big Jim)

Kevin,

Your journal is an amazing piece of work and if I were your Dad I would be bursting with pride. You have been through a lot and I know that must hurt. You have every right to feel betrayed and angry and expressing your fears about therapy is a good idea. It must be very frightening to even consider going to see someone and you need to be able to say so. I look forward to seeing your journal page on the points in favor of going for help. Just remember that it is entirely normal to be fearful about these things. That applies to adults as well as teenagers, and for teenagers it must be especially rough. You have found the courage and the support you need to face all this while you are still very young - for many of us it takes decades. I know you know it won't be easy, but you will get there. I wish you all the best along your way.

Take care,
Larry

Kev, your journal isn't stupid. Thanks for writing that. This is what we have to deal with every day and people should know. If it happens to one out of six by the age of 16 like the Ten Facts say then someone should write a book for us young guys. There's books about abuse for girls and there's books for girls and guys (but they use "she" and "her") and I found one where the author talks about guys and lets us talk some but I can't find any books written for young guys only. Why? Maybe they think young guys don't read, we're all illiterate jocks or stupid little kids who're too messed up to even care. Wrong! I know I'm not the only kid who's searching books for answers. How can they expect us to talk when we're being ignored and made to feel invisible? Maybe we should leave quietly and come back when we're 45 and angry at the world? Maybe it's wrong to say I remember everything that happened 'cause most older guys on here say they don't. Maybe it's scary for grownups when young people speak of abuse 'cause it makes the grownup feel guilty or helpless. Maybe it's wrong to say I want to get better, I want change and I need safe grownups (a male role model) to help guide me. Maybe it's wrong to talk about feelings, I should be a guy's guy and keep everything hidden inside! Maybe it's wrong to think I matter and my voice is important. It's a grownup world and I f-cking hate it.