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#34935 - 04/08/05 09:16 PM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Donnie, hey you would never hit your kids, I would never hit a kid, and I dont really have any feeling of shouting at them unless they r real bad.

I am overprotective, just like you, and I dont want 2 be, but it is part of it, sometimes I spend so much time typing something and just delete it, just like you, maybe it is the meds, maybe the text dont really make any sense to me, so I dont post it.

And to Kev, hey, you will be as great a man as your dad, and he is the best, I just hope you are all OK, and I really mean it,

Peace and goodwill,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#34938 - 04/09/05 12:27 AM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 116
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
Hey Kevin, Thank's. You did not upset me at all. None. The main reason i said that is 2 let u no that u no alone in thinkin that. i no deep deep deep down inside that i'd never hurt them but i can't bring it up 2 the surface yet. N i gree with u that it ur journal n u should rite anythin that u want. i no want u 2 stop. u doin real good. everythin u say so far i still goin thu. i guess that what i mean by sayin that age no mattr. N 2 i keep thinkin this a regular entry n not ur journal. i sorry 4 that. i glad u can post it. i finally started another journal gain n can't post it yettt, but maybe i get as far as u. u say that people think u stronger than u are n i no agree. u tellin what u feel n that take a lot. sometimes when i tell somethin things get worse but i do have 2 admit that it stopped more bad things from happinen. i no i can b a wreck sometimes but it has nothin 2 do from anyone here. the only thing u n jake n the people here do is listen n help me so much.i so proud of u n i think u a hero. -Donnie


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#34939 - 04/09/05 12:30 AM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 116
Loc: Fort Smith, AR



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#34940 - 04/09/05 12:31 AM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 116
Loc: Fort Smith, AR



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#34941 - 04/09/05 10:37 AM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Kev, the road thru this is bumpy, it is rocky, there are many hills and streams to cross, barriers to break.

You lose one burden than see another, each one that you come to becomes part of the past, the more you deal with the lighter the load.

The more you can talk and get things out, after four years of bottling all of this up, sure takes it out on you, physically and mentally, but it is good that you share.

It is good that you can still enjoy the beauty of life, and the love of your family, you are needed, and you have friends who care,

look after you, ;\)

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#34942 - 04/09/05 11:13 AM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
Jake_t2398 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 131
Quote:
Originally posted by glaukos:
Journal 4 – Grabbing at Life
(dedicated to Jake & Donnie)

When I'm back screaming in my corner as if nothing changed I think the real Kevin died pinned down & sobbing in the dark a long time ago, & this is just the wreckage of what he could have been. But that's a cop-out. That's the dark saying yr not done with me yet. If there was no real Kevin left why do I love poetry & music & going fishing just to be in a beautiful place and listen to the water bubbling over the rocks? Why do I love my family? Why do I worry about a baby animal?

The truth is that once you make the first true grab to get back yr life yr not liberated, you discover how much you need help.
Rembr the good things u lern tonite in chat. Wat carin for the calf means ;\) Theres very real Kevin, he loves playin blues guitar, ritin poetry, being a good football player, he has a carin heart n took good care of calf that needed his help. Abuse hurt us but it not take away everthin, u love beauty, ur family , n carin for calf cuz ur a good person that cares. Abuse was never ur fault. Dont let the abuser win Kevin, keep figtin bak n be strong.think of the good things , it help push out the bad. beleve in urself, ur a good person. i beleve in u kevin , ur gonna be ok, n ya ;\) it take time ;\) , u kno i hate those words \:\) but it tru, give urself a break lil bro, from ur big bro jake


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#34943 - 04/09/05 02:16 PM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
Archnut Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 343
Loc: United Kingdom
That for me was one of the most moving things i have read. I confronted one of my abusers last wekk but I have to say that you writing and handing that letter to your father took a great deal of courage and trust more so than my confrontation.

You have taken the hardest step, now its time to start healing ... ... and you will.

Take it slow, there is no race in recovery.

My best wishes to you

Kirk


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#34946 - 04/12/05 11:00 PM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Hiya kev,

yep just the ordinary kid, thats just who you are, hey, I am jealous, your dad, is so cool, your best mate and someone who you can be just be with.

You should be writing books, because you certainly have some way with writing in your journal, hey, the fire, and the way it so much brings so much into your life, and things you always remember, about your dad holding you close.

I hope you make something of your relationship with rebecca, you deserve it kev, hey, your journal is really an eye opener for me,

stay strong kev,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#34947 - 04/13/05 08:36 AM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
Jake_t2398 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 131
that sound like a cool time with ur dad, ya kev, lot times u jus wantd to be jus kevin n u dad show u that u r , glad u had that time at that plaec, ur bro jake


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#34949 - 04/15/05 01:39 AM Re: Journal 1 (triggers?)
Jake_t2398 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 131
\:\( \:\( (((kevin))) sorry u had 2 kno that hurt, jake \:\(


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