The Demon By James 1959

One day a demon came into my life
He did things to me that effected my life
He did things that a boy should not feel see or know
I do wish that demon was dead

From that day to this ive hated myself
Ive hated the memory of his touch his feel his breath
i didnt invite him but he invited himself
I do wish that demon was dead

The demon has haunted me all of my life
Its time now to put him out of my life
its time now to face and relive it once more
I do wish that demon was dead

Im taken back to the age of six
I relive each moment its so fresh on my mind
The pain and the grief its so hard to bear
But i have to get peace in my mind

The pain and the grief keeps flooding back
I tackle each moment one bit at a time
I face the demon and ask him why
Why did you touch me and destroy my life

I take out my sword and confront the beast
Why did you do it you dirty old beast
He has no anwsers for my pain and grief
Not even a sorry to bring relif

I slay each memory one step at a time
Getting anwsers to questions that tortured my mind
Im getting trough it I see light ahead
The demon is slowly dying in my mind

Now i can get on with the rest of my life
Ive faced the demon and put him to rest
I will always remember what he did to me
But now he has no control of my life you see

I feeling relief to have a life once more
Free from sorrow free from pain free from tears
No more demon to torture my life
The bad old demon is dead

After 45 years of torture and grief i feel i im now able to move on with my life the journey has been rought and tough but im finaly king of my live thanks to all who helped from Male Suvivors God Bless and take care James 1959

I wrote this poem when i first came here from the heart at that time i was in much pain and grief and days i couldnt look myself straight in the mirror. I blamed my self and hated my self so much over the years. The last two verses at the time were written and pened as a glimps of a furture what life might be like for me in the days to come and i was hoping for a quick cure at the time.

As i read the poem to day i feel like the past has been drifting away from me bit by bit over the months ive been here,and the last verse of the poem is only now kicking into my life now, and i also have had a reality check you just dnt get over csa in a few months it takes time and pantience


Some days i find it hard to believe that the bad old demons are dead.But its other issuses and feelings from csa i have to deal with now. But im slowly getting there .


James

MAN I GOT TO SAY THAT IS A PRETTY GREAT POEM IT CAPTURES SO MUCH . ALL I CAN SAY IS HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD
GREAT JOB AND THANKS FOR SHARING !!

Thanks James,

Keep giving here-I like your stuff.

James,

Wow, great job! Thank you for sharing it with us.

Ed

The past is still drifting away and im getting stronger day by day.

James

The past is truely in the past for me now and all demons are dead to be truthful they dnt bother me one slightest bit. ive more important things to do now and its called living and life.

James

I realise to day how much this demon took from my life, and i thought it was a normal part of me to have torture and pain in my life all these years.

My recovery has made me see this.

45 years ago on Christmas eve he took my life away, and now i have only got it back again after all these years.

But it still hurts sometimes even after all these years and the remarkable recover ive made this year.

Im hurtung to night.

But i guess i will always have a odd bad day or two and thats something i will have to accept.

James