Hey, brother. Yes, I do view her as a vicious predator and really I was totally under her control and that is why I followed her where she took me.
I am also understanding that it was a set-up and not denying that I was a victim, and starting to accept that yes this did happen to me.
I find it easier to think of my abuse through this reference point, but don't do it enough. She was a bad influence who devoured me.
Thanks for your comment about manhood not being "encased" in our sexual organs. That is absolutely true. I need to remind myself my masulinity can't be taken away and that I just lost control of my life to an evil woman for a period of time. I recently told my wife of 17 years about the incident and this is her view. She wants me to stop struggling and be happy. She says that she controlled me and he never did.
My therapist told me to reclaim my body, heterosexuality, masculinity and femininity. I guess reclaim all that is me