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#34836 - 04/03/05 05:06 AM Normal
lostone Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/09/05
Posts: 14
Once we get past all of this how are we supposed to act? What is normal and what isn't? When are we supposed to cry, laugh, be afraid, love...any of that.


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#34837 - 04/03/05 07:59 AM Re: Normal
yesac76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
No one can tell you how to act. It is a learning process we all have to go through. Like all other areas of our lives, we learn when it is okay to do things. I wish I could tell you when it is okay to cry. I feel it is right to cry when you feel like crying. You are the only one who holds the answers, Lostone.
Take care,

Casey

_________________________
"You live it or lie it" Metallica

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#34838 - 04/03/05 02:22 PM Re: Normal
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1794
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
I used to wonder that too. It just happens, you sort of catch yourself notcrying or getting upset at stuff that used to set you off.

You'll know.


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#34839 - 04/04/05 09:52 AM Re: Normal
Glen Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 71
Loc: Wisconsin
First of all "Normal" is an illusion. Everyone has their insecurities and quirks. As far as crying go ahead let it out free your mind and spirit only then will you feel better and you will not sweat the little stuff.

_________________________
Please tell me why..

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#34840 - 04/04/05 10:36 AM Re: Normal
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
i think to throw the word normal out the window. as long as you try to live up to some ideal, you wont be living up to the real you inside. no one is normal. normal is an illusion we create so that we can punish ourselves for not measuring up. i know that sounds pretty fatalistic, but i think you'll find as you heal that the key is to love and accept the real you, whoever that is, and to live true to that person.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#34841 - 04/04/05 11:00 AM Re: Normal
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i really hear you there-

i have been trying to deal with that lately -

i feel i must get back into therapy - but
am so freaked -

so it's just something i have to do -

i don't know what normal is -

all i know is that somehow i am learning
to manage what i know is not good stuff -

i will make a post of it -

"about my kitten"

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#34842 - 04/04/05 11:01 AM Re: Normal
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i agree with roland too - that must be it

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#34843 - 04/04/05 04:35 PM Re: Normal
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
For me, it was about figuring out who I am as opposed to what the SA made me. Dealing with all this stuff helps me weed out what I do because I was SA from what I do because that's who I am. Does that make sense? So in the end, maybe I will be somebody who cries, laughs, is afraid, loves--but whatever I do, it will be because that's who I truly am. Not because I'm still reacting to SA that happened long ago.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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