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#348328 - 12/16/10 06:14 PM How to start a support group for male survivors?
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
I've been reading on one of the forums, the guys talking about the dearth of support groups for men. There seem to be several kinds, and they put up initials and such, and some have a therapist and some don't, and so on and so forth.

Reading the posts over the last year or so, it seems a really helpful thing is for the guys to just have someone else in the same boat to be around and spend time with, people who have been in similar situations and can empathize. As I have been reading, I don't think it has to be a therapy thing, but even just a social night every week or two, would be a help.

Am I correct, guys? And I am asking male survivors, specifically.

Thanks,
D.





Edited by Disappointed (12/16/10 06:17 PM)
Edit Reason: Clarify topic
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#348331 - 12/16/10 07:11 PM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: Disappointed]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
NO.

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#348332 - 12/16/10 07:27 PM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: Avery46]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
Well, that's a start.

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#348333 - 12/16/10 07:32 PM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: Disappointed]
InsideTheWall Offline


Registered: 01/10/09
Posts: 282
No need to be so harsh Avery. I've found a local group that meets once a week to be helpful.


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#348336 - 12/16/10 07:49 PM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: InsideTheWall]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
Inside the Wall,

What do you all do? How long do you meet? What kind of ground rules do you have?

Oh - also - how do you get the word out? Tell therapists in the area? Tell maybe rape crisis centers?

Thanks,

D.



Edited by Disappointed (12/16/10 07:50 PM)
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#348337 - 12/16/10 07:57 PM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: Disappointed]
InsideTheWall Offline


Registered: 01/10/09
Posts: 282
I'm the most recent member, and have never organized anything like this. If you're seriously interested, PM me and I'll see about putting you in touch with someone with more experience. But even he has had great difficulties in this area.

We meet for one hour every week and read from SIA texts and talk about how it relates to our own lives. Frankly, we struggle to find people willing to come. I haven't yet seen the group exceed four people.


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#348345 - 12/16/10 09:37 PM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: Disappointed]
SunnyGirl Offline


Registered: 07/13/10
Posts: 79
Have you read this thread going on in the Male Survivors forum: http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showthreaded&Number=345723 ?

I looked at the SIA website (http://www.siawso.org) and it provides some discussion of how the meetings are supposed to be run and also has some meetings listed (in person and phone meetings -- some men only and some that allow supporters, i.e. "pro-survivors").

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"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." - H. Keller

"Change & growth take place when a person has risked himself & dares to become involved w/ experimenting w/ his own life." - H. Otto

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#348354 - 12/17/10 08:35 AM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: SunnyGirl]
1227ms Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/10
Posts: 98
Loc: PA
I don't have any experience with the benefits of a group yet but have been trying to find one to join. I feel for me it would be very beneficial to talk with, and listen to people who understand some of the feelings. It is hard to explain some of the stuff that goes along with CSA to someone who has never experienced the intensity of the feelings and pain. There seem to be no groups in my area. At least none I have found yet. I will keep looking. I guess whether a group is helpful would depend a lot on each persons journey and their place in that journey. If anyone hears of a group in south central PA open to new members please let me know!

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#348360 - 12/17/10 09:18 AM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: 1227ms]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 731
Loc: NJ
I Have done group (peer to peer) and individual meetings....they are very importatnt at the right time...but must be safe.

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My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#348367 - 12/17/10 11:21 AM Re: How to start a support group for male survivors? [Re: InsideTheWall]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: InsideTheWall
No need to be so harsh Avery.


ITW,

Interesting you think I was being harsh. NOT my intent at all. I answered within my own comfort level and as simply as I felt the question called for. I too am a survivor who is growing and answering question according to my own comfort. I am very kind but simple to which I find is helpful at times and within my own capabilities.

Originally Posted By: Disappointed
Am I correct, guys?


This seems like a YES/NO question to me. I did NOT see a need to answer with more detail at the time it was asked. NO emotions or harshness intended.

Originally Posted By: Disappointed
Well, that's a start.


I will stay out of the F&F if survivors are going to be interpreting other survivors responses along with F&F members.

I believe in being calm and inquiring NOT subjective.

NO harm or harshness meant ever.

Donnie

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