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#348240 - 12/15/10 09:35 PM if your not....
looking2heal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 100
Loc: pa
if your not a guy then you should let ppl know that....not let everyone keep thinking that you are

_________________________
taking the steps to healing inside

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#348244 - 12/15/10 09:57 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: looking2heal]
Tyler845 Offline


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 276
Loc: U.S.A.
Personally I know some females at this site, and it's not easy for them to devulge that information upfront, it makes them feel vulnerable, in the same we have, we sould be understanding of everyone's feelings, not just the males.

_________________________
Most Often, The Child Inside Has Better Access To Execute The Flawless Potential Of Self.

Over-Ride Emotional Conflict With Rational Truths

You Are Freer Than You Think - Paul Berteaux

Come unto Me, all ye that Labor, and are Heavy-ladened. I will give you Rest -Jesus Christ

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#348246 - 12/15/10 10:01 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: Tyler845]
looking2heal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 100
Loc: pa
the problem isnt women on the site ....i get great help from some....its when they keep letn ppl think they are a guy

_________________________
taking the steps to healing inside

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#348254 - 12/15/10 11:48 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: Tyler845]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Tyler845
it makes them feel vulnerable,


EVERYONE here is expecting to act truthfully 100%, despite feeling vulnerable.

Females expect us Males to act with 100% honesty, then they need to also. Common sense I think. Without full honesty then there will be only partial healing.

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#348255 - 12/15/10 11:49 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: looking2heal]
diamondheart Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Michigan
there is no excuse for pretending to be a man on this site... this is a site for male survivors. many survivors struggle with trust... and having a safe place to talk about csa is important.

_________________________
I am a gay guy just trying to find my way...

http://itismytimetoshine.wordpress.com

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#348260 - 12/16/10 12:02 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: diamondheart]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Are there others here who are women that are NOT disclosing there gender? Why hide? We are here to tell our "truths". If you know of someone who is hiding why are you letting them. This all seems rather unfair and who can we really trust.

I had no idea this was happening. I need to heal and have believing I could trust 100%. I have had to "clean" up my own behaviors of hiding.

This will cause me to stop writing anymore. I have written my darkest secrets and for that I am proud. I have been supported here and love my honest fellow brethren. I know who they are.

Why hide anymore? Why?

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#348290 - 12/16/10 08:30 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: Avery46]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1359
Loc: kansas
some users here are still having issues with exposing their real selves for fear of rejection, harm and abuse. they put up a fake front, wall, whatever you want to call it to protect themselves.

i'm sure a lot of you remember a user here that made up a lot of stories, a life that isn't his. he lied to many of us here. it hurt me. sent me reeling for a bit. caused me to question my trust and faith in others. got so bad that i almost couldn't trust myself....

BUT, i wasn't in that state for very long. i realized that it wasn't me with the issue. i could still trust. i got that from being here on ms. surrounding myself with the love and support i got here amongst you guys...

and as for the guy who made up a whole other life..???....??? well, in all honesty, i also realized that he really needs help. he NEEDS to be here on ms. he needs to be around others that have been abused as well because his abuse issues are what caused the smokescreen to begin with... i'd welcome him back with open arms and forgive him....

let's remember folks that trust is a hard thing for us, including the women here, please allow them the time to get to trust us as we would need the time to trust them.....

todd

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#348294 - 12/16/10 08:54 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: Obi]
earlybird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
It is important for women to disclose and it is part of our responsibility as men here on MS to help them feel safe enough to do so.

What I'm more confused about in the background theme in this thread is that I did not realize to qualify to be on MS I must be 100 per cent honest. I'm learning how to disclose my history but I withold tons of information - therefore by obmission I'm being dishonest. So I'm no better than the women who are hiding. The thing is guys, I'm trying - really, really trying - honest.

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

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#348295 - 12/16/10 09:30 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: earlybird]
diamondheart Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Michigan
There is nothing wrong with sharing information about your csa and your recovery at your own pace. To me that isn't being dishonest... Each person tells their story in their own time...

I will say it again, this site is for male surivors and their recovery. Trust is important when it comes to disclosing that...

Safety is also important when it comes to recovery and sharing... Many of us have been betrayed by our own families. Sure I can understand that women too have their own set of trust and safety issues but this site isn't for them. I don't mean to sound cold about it...

Some guys don't feel comfortable talking to another woman about their issues and/or feel safer that in parts of the forum women aren't allowed to respond or post... So to have a woman pretend to be a man, could be seen as another betrayal.

Sure it is important to not take it personal, it is their issue... but that doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with... It is okay to be unhappy with something and voice your concern over it...

_________________________
I am a gay guy just trying to find my way...

http://itismytimetoshine.wordpress.com

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#348374 - 12/17/10 12:43 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: earlybird]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: earlybird
therefore by obmission I'm being dishonest.


Earlybird,

I personally do NOT believe obmitted details which one might not be aware is NOT being dishonest.

Disclosing "basic" information is necessary in building trust. Some like "transgender" individuals may NOT be comfortable saying their gender today but need to here as this is community that is built on trust regarding basic information. Without knowing some imformation I might say something that will upset someone inadvertently.

My patients at the clinic withhold info all the time. In building trust and providing the best interaction - as much info is necessary.

If a person knows they are male or female which is basic information and they withhold his info then they are being dishonest.

Peace,
Donnie

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#348378 - 12/17/10 01:33 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: Avery46]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Let's just say its for male at birth abuse victims. Heck I can even see that butch women or trannies like Oh dam I can't remember his name, Sonny & Cher's kid would rather be in a mens group and I'm fine with that as long as there is no deception about these facts and they are here to deal with having been abused.
Allowing that in the world there are all sorts. Creepy women, as many of us on here know from being abused exist and will be on here just as creepy men will.
Just be aware of yourself and your surroundings. Remember that you cannot know who is at the recieving end of any of this it is about us learning to trust and learning to see that broken trust is not a life ending catastrophy now that we are adults. Yes we have emotional issues and react more intensely and deeply than a "normie" would yet we must learn to not react this way and to do that we have to take the chances that get us hurt to be able to see and learn how to handle things properly.

Yes its off putting when I find that someone I've dealt with for a long period of time is female but that is my fault for not asking before I started to let them in. If a female is on here and lying about it then well she falls into that category Obi described of someone who needs more help than most of us as that behavior is either creepy perverted or creepy damaged and maybe both but it has nothing to do with those of us who may have been duped.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#348382 - 12/17/10 03:39 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: kidneythis]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
It's incumbent on women to tell us that they are, in fact, women as part of the site's terms of use. There should never be any surprise in this on either side.

kidneythis, gender identity and expression is complex, and much less binary than people have been led to believe. Given your hypothetical acceptance of a trans-man in a men's group, I'm sure that your use of "trannie" was just a matter of not knowing the right word to use.

The best umbrella term is "transgender", and people transitioning from Female to Male are sometimes referred to as "transgender men" or "trans-men". Using "transvestite" or its contraction "trannie" is considered derogatory and if you are reaching for the right terms to use in future the GLAAD Media Reference Guide is a great resource that I use all the time.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#348383 - 12/17/10 03:46 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Thanks for the info. Transvestite is a man who dresses as a woman trannie is either transvestite or transexual the usage was implied buy the posting.

I don't condone PC speach or the vilification of words. Usage should be the focus not the word itself. vilifying a word shuts down the mind to any and all concepts that require that word to be expressed. Its like saying one will never investigate cholera coming from waste because waste is unpure. Its a silly ignorant conceptualization of how one should deal with people who are bigotted. It assumes one can know what another is thnking in spite of what they say rather than thinking about what they say, realizing that they can only judge them by their words and actions not the imagined thoughts the word police attribute to them.

Thanks for thew info bro I didn't mean to be rude but my meaning was clear, and the inference that it was anything else is not my problem.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#348391 - 12/17/10 05:02 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: kidneythis]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
Hey kidneythis,

I know you weren't being rude, I was just trying to help you out with some language you might not have been familiar with. I've been working with the transgender community for the last 3 or 4 years so I've been learning a lot myself. smile This stuff is complicated, even sometimes for transgender people.

FYI, Chas Bono is a transgender man, not a cross-dresser. They are two very different things...

Quote:
Transvestite
DEROGATORY see Cross-Dressing

Cross-Dressing
To occasionally wear clothes traditionally associated with people of the other sex. Cross-dressers are usually comfortable with the sex they were assigned at birth and do not wish to change it. "Cross-dresser" should NOT be used to describe someone who has transitioned to live full-time as the other sex, or who intends to do so in the future. Cross-dressing is a form of gender expression and is not necessarily tied to erotic activity. Cross-dressing is not indicative of sexual orientation.

Transgender
An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. The term may include but is not limited to: transsexuals, cross-dressers, and other gender-variant people. Transgender people may identify as female-to-male (FTM) or male-to-female (MTF). Use the de>
_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#348401 - 12/17/10 06:43 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Thanks again but I speak English fine and I'm not going to allow the word police to dictate how I speak. I never said Chas Bono was a cross dresser, that is your imagination at work probably using the made up definitions of words you seem to have adopted.
Transvestite is not a derogatory term it is the word that describes a man who dress's as a woman or cross dress'. One says cross dresser when one doesn't have a large enough vocabulary to know the word transvestite. There is no name for a woman who wears men's clothing since all women of all stripes do it.

Any group to whom labels apply or words have developed to describe them or their behavior doesn't assume the right to rewrite the language to suit themselves and give themselves a false sense of power or control. Transvestite is not derogatory. Neither is trannie. The people you are workling with or the site you are getting your info from are radical outsiders who wish to remain radical outsiders and force the rest of society to meet their arbitrarily set standards, not normal people of differing sexualities who wish to be a part of society. This is proved by their actions as in this word policing problem, not their false protestations of wanting inclusion.

I will not allow insecure mean spirited people to tell me how to use a the most perfect language man has ever created. Especially since their usages are intended to undermine that language as they object to that specificity and perfection as much as they object to not having passive aggressive control over others.
The negativity or derogatory feelings they have about words are just that, their feelings, and for that reason have nothing to do with anything about the word. Feelings are something one feels and they can be moved by the use of words thus are ethereal. Words are something with specific and exact meanings which no amount of feeling can change.
The cobbled gibberish definition of transgender you gave should illustrate this fact. Transgender means exactly what the word says, trans=cross gender=sex at birth thus it means one has crossed from birth gender to the other gender. There is no other meaning possible for the word unless one is using it in prose and that "other" meaning would be by implication not an actual definition change for the word itself.
Just because a language evolves over time does not mean one can force that evolution.

Again I am not at fault if you are offended by a word I use. You may as well be offended by the chair you sit in, as there is no difference between being offended by the two things as they are things with a fixed purposes. Yes they can be used in other ways but the actual purpose they have in their preuse state is fixed not arbitrary.
That is why you listen to what is said and address that, instead of simply trying to stop the person from speaking by excluding a word they want to use and labeliung them for it. There are certainly ways to imply meaning into he word and at that time one should object if it is unseemly, not to the word but to the implied meaning.






Edited by kidneythis (12/17/10 06:44 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#348416 - 12/18/10 12:24 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: kidneythis]
diamondheart Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Michigan
To you, probably because you aren't transgendered and haven't gone through the struggles of it.

At one point, the "N" word was acceptable for some but we now know that is wrong...

Yes, people still use it but it has become socially unacceptable...

Same goes for other words that are used to put down a certain type of person... Like fag, faggot, trannie, etc...

It is about sensitivity... If I used a word that was offensive but I didn't realize that I would want someone to tell me...

For example, when in my early 20s I used the word cunt... I didn't know what it meant but had heard someone else say it. Someone told me what it meant and how it was offensive to women, so I stopped using it...

You mention its not the word itself, its how you use it? Is there a good way to use terms like faggot, the n word, etc?

_________________________
I am a gay guy just trying to find my way...

http://itismytimetoshine.wordpress.com

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#348425 - 12/18/10 03:37 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: diamondheart]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 862
Loc: washington
Well...

I think the truth of the matter is...that it is an impossible task to sniff out everybody who is a fraud here...(that is just the harsh reality)...I am positive the Mod's have plenty on their plate as it is.

Looking back I have posted a good portion of personal stuff...(several would probably agree some of it quite bizarre)...on the public side...(before I even knew a member side existed)...hopefully this might help a newcomer feel that he is not alone.

I am a very disorganized person..and the fact of the math is if I have a journal...I just end up loosing it...I am proud to say that I have never deleted a post...(M.S. is/has become my journal).

Ironically...somebody that responded to my very first post was later outed as a fraud.

Through recovery...I now aspire to live as honest,open and willing lifestyle as possible. I also am not as naive to think that everybody here is on the same page of thinking.

Firstly, I am here to help myself and resolve my issuse...(if I don't take care of myself, I can't help others...Secondly, I am here to help others....(which ironically leads right back to helping myself).

Interestingly enough a young female...(knew by her user name)...was trying to say hello...and believed we might have age in common...(because of my user name)...I immediately and instictively informed her of my age...(she pretty much figured out that she was young enough to be my daughter...).

I guess this is a good reminder to know that it exists...as I really haven't thought about this topic for a while...but at the end of the day...this personally changes nothing...as far as I am concerned.

I am here to help myself and others...(the rest is just static).


Broken Words (Finger Eleven)

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#348519 - 12/19/10 02:14 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: 1islandboy]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
I'm not offended by the word, kidneythis, I just know that my transgender friends and the community at large are very deeply offended by it. That's enough for me to care.

Just like I know that n*gg*r and cr*ck*r and f*g and ch*nk and g**k and c*nt are offensive to the people that these words target.

Everyone needs to feel safe here, and that's a reason for all of us to care.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#348520 - 12/19/10 02:23 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: 1islandboy]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
To whom it may concern:

All terminology that in the view of the site management team and/or is defined by standardized convention to be derogatory, hateful, etc., of individuals or groups of individuals will be removed and further action taken if necessary to contain it's harmful impact. Individual interpretation or willingness to conform to accepted standards of speech will not come into play in this situation.

Please notify a moderator using the "notify" button on the specific posting in question if you believe a post to be in violation of the terms of service.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#348527 - 12/19/10 05:26 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: WalkingSouth]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Derek, this sentence you wrote is one; "You mention its not the word itself, its how you use it? Is there a good way to use terms like faggot, the n word, etc?"
Also there was never at any time the idea that the f or n word was anything but derogatory. Commonly used, yes. Not derogatory, NO. Transvestite has never been anything but the word that describes the cross dressing of a man.

"I'm not offended by the word, kidneythis, I just know that my transgender friends and the community at large are very deeply offended by it. That's enough for me to care.

Just like I know that n*gg*r and cr*ck*r and f*g and ch*nk and g**k and c*nt are offensive to the people that these words target.

Everyone needs to feel safe here, and that's a reason for all of us to care.

EFM, I just find this very hard to believe since you are the first person I have ever heard mention this. Can you tell me what is offensive about it? I cannot imagine it being possible to be offended by this word since the word has no and never has had any other meaning, not even slang.

I do care and am in no way lacking in compassion and I resent you implying otherwise.



Edited by kidneythis (12/19/10 06:00 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#348556 - 12/20/10 01:14 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: kidneythis]
diamondheart Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Michigan
Everyone needs to feel safe, yes... And there could be suvivors on here who are transgender. Seeing another survivor refer to them as a "Trannie" or a "Transvestite" could be a reason for them to feel unsafe, as they deem this word to be derogatory.

I understand that you have never known that it was offensive, that is where others come in to educate you. Which we are trying to do...

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) clear states that the word "Transvestite" is derogatory and "Trannie" is defamatory! The proper word for "Transvestite" is Cross-Dressing but as you can see with the de>
_________________________
I am a gay guy just trying to find my way...

http://itismytimetoshine.wordpress.com

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#348595 - 12/20/10 12:05 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: diamondheart]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
I didn't live through the time where words like n*gg*r changed from being broadly used and accepted, to being acknowledged as offensive and hurtful, and ultimately being "asterisked out". Before that happened I'm sure there were many similar conversations about how words come to be understood over time.

I think we're living through the middle to latter stages of that process now with words like f*g and dyk* being recognized more and more broadly as demeaning and offensive to gays and lesbians and the decline in their use.

We all know that calling someone a "homo" is derogatory, even though it's just a contraction for the clinical term "homosexual". That's the case with "trannie" and "transvestite" also, however we're in the early to middle stages where the broad community doesn't fully realize how offensive it is to the group that it supposedly describes.

Let's all acknowledge that it's tough living in the middle of these transitions and having the meaning and usage of words change underneath us. Perhaps we can also agree that if a community finds a noun used to describe them offensive we can just avoid using that word.

Let's grant each other the benefit of the doubt.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#348622 - 12/20/10 06:33 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Lets be clear I never called anyone who is transgendered a transvestite. The original post was removed but it had none of what it is being implied, in it.
I was grasping for Chas Bono's name and it elluded me so I continued on to make the larger point addressing the OP's question which is that women who are butch or transgendered to men (the other word I couldn't think of) would be welcome as long as they were open about this.
I didn't include the obvious point that this is so men who were abused by women or the more conservative or religious among us do not interact with them and feel duped or abused when they find out their interlocutor is or was a woman. That could be a serious trigger for them which I think was the OP's original point for bringing this up.

There was never at any time in the history of man the thought that the N word or the F word was not derogatory. Both of them are meant to be derogatory. So the comparison does not apply.

Transvestite has never been a derogatory word. The idea that people would take offense to it is beyond belief but I have sent out inquiries to a couple people and will do some more to get some responsive replies to the what and why of this issue. I do feel under attack and I feel insulted since I am a very inclusive and open person and I do not have to declare how many LGBT friends I have to prove my validity. And I do know some and they do use this word with no irony at all.

And the reverse is true for you all as well. Just becuase you think it is offensive doesn't make it offensive. I don't know any of you and have no reason to believe you since you provide no answers to my question of the why and how this word became offensive. I resent the superior looking down on my poor dumb ass attitude I am getting here.
I was accused by EFM of something that I never did because he inserted his own meaning into the words I used rather than just reading what was there, and since then my post was removed so I cannot defend myself from all this crap by pointing at it.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#348639 - 12/20/10 07:38 PM Re: if your not.... [Re: kidneythis]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
kidneythis,

For the record, I've made no accusations and have stated several times that I don't believe there was any intent to offend on your part. I always presumed your good intentions and gave you the benefit of the doubt.

I saw you grasping for the right word and when you used the word "tranny" I let you know that transgender people find it offensive - as they do - and pointed you to some resources to help you find the right word next time.

This thread has degenerated from an kindly-intended attempt to help someone find the right word, to a full on defense of using a word and a denial that it can be offensive. The outcome I was hoping for was a safe place where a transgender man who is a survivor could come to work on their recovery without finding an transphobic slur, albeit wholly unintended, in these forums.

The continuation of this thread is completely counterproductive to that outcome so my engagement in this thread ends now.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#348683 - 12/21/10 02:45 AM Re: if your not.... [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
diamondheart Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Michigan
When someone uses words like this in a public matter, it is my right to stand up and voice my concern... If that person feels attacked, I am sorry but I will not hide because of others. Especially when I have done it in the ut most care and given documentation to prove my case!

The first time I hear someone use these words, I will take into consideration that they might not be aware of how offensive it is but if after I try to open their eyes they still refuse it, that is when things change...

Honestly, if someone who is transgender didn't get upset over the two words used here, they certainly could when a person gets defensive and unwilling to accept it, even when faced with the evidence!

All I was doing out of concern and care.

The origional post was in regards to woman (born that way) pretending to be a man (born that way). It had nothing to do with being Transgender...

Further more, I would like to point out that if a ftm is on this site you might never find out that they are ftm, due to the fact that they now identify as the male gender and it is within their right to use the term man/male. It is not being dishonest if they don't share the gender they were born as, many who are transgender have transitioned or are in the process of transitioning!

The info below is not pointed at anyone in particular but a little more information, that some people might want to have.

Quote:
Gender Identity
One's internal, personal sense of being a man or a woman (or a boy or girl.) For transgender people, their birth-assigned sex and their own internal sense of gender identity do not match.

Gender Expression
External manifestation of one's gender identity, usually expressed through "masculine" "feminine" or gender variant behavior, clothing, haircut, voice or body characteristics. Typically, transgender people seek to make their gender expression match their gender identity, rather than their birth-assigned sex.

Transgender
An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth


Everyone has the opportunity to grow, even I do... I understand that some people have never had any experience with the transgender community. So how do you know, if no one ever tells you? If after someone is told a word is offensive and they still choose to use them, I can't stop them...

But this need to be a safe place for anyone who is transgender. Seeing these words could turn them away from this website. So why wouldn't anyone want to do anything in their power to stop that? This site is just as much for them, as it is for any of us!

I am going to be honest here. When I saw your first post kidneythis, I believed that you used these words because you didn't realize they were offensive and I didn't take offense to it... The subsequental posts I am not sure because you refuse to believe what we say and have become very defensive, even after giving you the GLAAD website. It has me feeling uneasy. Like you said, we don't know each other and I have to go on facts.

I am not transgender but they are apart of my community, so they are my family. Even if your intent is not harmful, the use of the words still can be such. We live in times where some people still believe it is okay to call us certain names and why would they believe otherwise when they see that we don't have equal rights. It is tough as it is, let alone to hear these words.

Believe what you want to, that is your choice but I ask for the feelings of anyone who is transgender on this site, to refrain from using these words on this site...

_________________________
I am a gay guy just trying to find my way...

http://itismytimetoshine.wordpress.com

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