We had our second meeting in Indianapolis this last weekend. There were several things we talked about, but the one that was most significant for me was our shared ambivalence/fear about addressing sexual abuse issues. We all seemed to share conflicting feelings between "it's time to look deeper into this" and "remind me again why would I want to stir this *** up?" It was really great to connect with men who understand where we've been and where we're headed, even when we don't know where we're headed. It helps to know that I'm not alone in my fear and my hope.

We've decided to stick with monthly meetings (3-5 PM on the second Sunday of each month) and to go for six months (through October). At that point we will reassess and determine how we want to continue. This is a confidential peer group lead by volunteer facilitators. Our first priority is to make this a safe group where we can stop hiding from the things that have weighed us down all our lives.

Membership requirements are that each man must:

• be a male survivor of sexual abuse;
• be 18 or over;
• be a non-perpetrator;
• be willing to commit to regular attendance.

Our commitment is for each of us to be there for at least four of these six meetings. If any man wants to join us for this first six month trial, post a reply or send me a private message. After the July meeting, we will close the group to new members until after October.

Mike

I remember Mike Lew's book talking about that exact thing, in the group's chapter: why talk about it??? He says, it's because it makes it better in the long run. I'd certainly say talking about my abuse has made it a hugely less frightening thing for me, which is easier to live with. And connecting with a lot of survivors has made all the effects in my life seem rather normal to me as opposed to isolating as before.

Congradulations Mike. And good luck to you guys!

How is the group, Mike?

Sam

Yeah! Are you guys meeting? How is it going?

Allan

Hi gang - the group went well, but has run it's course. We meet regularly for a time and then decided to go on hiatus.

Since then I've moved away from Indianapolis to take a new job in northeast Ohio. I miss my old support network, but am keeping in touch by phone and getting connected up in my new location. I've been reading Ken Singer's book "Evicting the Perpetrator" and wondering about starting a group here. Don't know yet where I'll go with that...

Mike