I think we obsess or at least I do is because of the behaviors I learned as a child. I was constantly on the look out. It hurt and I obsessed so I could control when or if the hurt continued. I was a kid and could avoid the pain at times. The perps were controlling and I became obsessive. I naturally became paranoid.
As I have been in recovery, I have realized moms, dads, kids are mostly loving, joyful and great to be around. In order to KNOW this I had to become vulernable with others. I also had to trust myself.