Thats it........... the question...........

Why do I have to obsess about everything?

Why do I have to be paranoid about everyone's intentions?

Why can't I be normal?

It's one of the things that lingers as an result I guess. I know what you mean though. Well...maybe not the same way I'm not sure. I know I have an obsessive thought process, one thing I found out in therapy when I was going, and I constantly think the worst initially when I see adults with children. I hate it, but I can't help but think "How many of them are abusing their kids?" or just seeing kids in general and can't help but think they may have gone through what I and so many others have. I don't think I can give you a clear answer, but it's what comes with all the mess we have to deal with. These things might go away as people heal and whatnot. All I can say is I'm not there yet, I'm sorry you have to go through it as well, Maybe I just wasted your time,I can't give you an answer. Sorry.

I think we obsess or at least I do is because of the behaviors I learned as a child. I was constantly on the look out. It hurt and I obsessed so I could control when or if the hurt continued. I was a kid and could avoid the pain at times. The perps were controlling and I became obsessive. I naturally became paranoid.

As I have been in recovery, I have realized moms, dads, kids are mostly loving, joyful and great to be around. In order to KNOW this I had to become vulernable with others. I also had to trust myself.

Great question.

Peace,
Donnie