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#346461 - 11/28/10 07:14 PM overcoming shame
Avery46 Offline

Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
One of the ways and the biggest ways for me to overcome shame is to face it head on.

Some of the sources of shame are others so facing them is one of the toughest.

I was raised to believe "shame" was painful. AND people were painful.

I know now that neither shame or people are painful as I have found my own sense of goodness.

I still feel shameful for being here. I still believe others want to abuse me or hate me for some reason - even here. BUT it is my stuff.

What have you come to believe about shame?


Edited by Avery46 (11/28/10 07:36 PM)
aka DJsport

#346492 - 11/29/10 01:13 AM Re: overcoming shame [Re: Avery46]
blaidd Offline

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 240
Loc: Australia
I've come to really believe and accept in the last week, that shame is something that is imposed upon us survivors via the negative messages from our abusers. We learn to take these things on because of their actions, behaviours and the things they overtly tell us. It impacts our sense of self and we carry this into adulthood and generalise it outward to encompass many aspects of our adult lives.

The way to heal from this shame, I am finding, is to hand it back to our abusers. They own the shame not us.

Blaidd (pronounced as blaith/blithe) is a welsh word meaning wolf.

#346493 - 11/29/10 01:34 AM Re: overcoming shame [Re: blaidd]
Max10 Offline

Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 69
Loc: Oregon
I wonder how to do this to dead abusers. I don't remember any names so far of any of my many abusers. I experience shame every day of my life for what happened to me.

Have a wonderful matter what!

~ I am not a victim...I am a survivor! ~

#346514 - 11/29/10 08:59 AM Re: overcoming shame [Re: Max10]
Stewdawg Offline

Registered: 11/29/10
Posts: 1
Loc: Vermont
After years of living with this shame . I have worked with a therapist and it has really helped . I too can not remmeber the name of the abuser . But I remember after that I had problems with realtionships with females because I thought I was gay . As it turned out I decided that it was better to live with it then to keep reliving it . So I happily became a well rounded gay man .
There is life after abuse , never forget that !!!!


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