The last few weeks have been pretty tense for me and this past Sunday, I had a melt down in front of my wife and son. I had two counseling sessions scheduled. One with my outgoing therapist and one with my new one. that one was on Wednesday. it went pretty good and my new therapist felt that I was putting too much pressure and being too hard on myself.

Last night, I was able to sit down and talk to my wife about the sessions and where I was at. I told her about many writings on MS and that given my sessions with the counselors and seeing that what was being brought to the point to consider, was that it is uncommon for guys who have been sexually assaulted to have same sex thoughts that that it is normal process.

Today is Friday and I didn't get up until about 2:30 PM. Now I didn't sleep real well last night, but I felt like a ton of bricks where taken from my shoulders.

I don't think that this makes me bi or gay, but rather, possibly, a normal guy, whose had to deal with some abnormal events in my life. Oh, Today is my 22nd anniversary of marriage to my wife, so, maybe this is an omen that things are gonna get better. I hope that the same for others like myself.

that is a good feeling isn't it?
i hope that pile can stay put on the ground now.

yeah westchesterguy.....I didn't know it until I had a chance to reflect and realized the huge difference it may...thanks for the encouragement

Good work Harry!
The truth WILL set us free-and feelings are not necessarily facts. When i
can talk in confidence with trusted people about my struggles, I get a better perspective and lose that horrible feeling of isolation.

I have some male survivors over for dinner last night and we talked for over two hours about our stories-including our sexuality as it has evolved o ver the years. My SSA is largely about wanting my youth, confidence, affirmation from other men, and feelings of control back in my life - so that is part of my quest today. It opens me up to deeper intimacy with my wife and kids and men in my life.

I'm glad ur here on MS-keep forging ahead and reaching out!