A couple of days ago I had an interesting phone call from one of my WoR companions. Though we live in different parts of the same state we were both snowed in and couldn’t get to work. Wink Wink.

Over the past ten months we have followed most of what each other has said on this site and keep in good contact. He’s a smart dude that never fails to get my attention. He called to asked me point blank a very simple question:

“Earlybird, after reading a number of your recent posts and poems I’m left wanting to ask you a question. What is it you want?” That led into a long warm conversation on a winter’s storm day.

Now, that seems like an easy to answer question, right? Well, I have found it impossible to scribble it down for anyone to read. I’ve got all kinds of justification for not doing so, too busy, got a poem to write, I’ll do it later, it’s not important, who cares, what’s the use, you pick it I’ve got all kinds of invalid reasons.

Is it okay to want, what we want? If so, why is it so hard to ask for it? Are you willing to put it out there and ask?

Wants

My first want I solicited with tearless screams
Mother’s milk my main desire. Worked too
For each time she brought me to her bosom

Ahhh how effortlessly I’d ask for my needs
“Hey dad it’s a warm day - come out to play”
He’d do it too, for no other reason, just for me.

When did I learn to shield and mislead. Shelving
My wants that once upon a time were okay?

I want,

To wrestle with intense emotions, and resolve them,
To laugh deeply with family & good friends,
To love unconditionally, inside and out,
To have an adventure
To worship without guilt

To risk
To choose life
To face death without fear
To have the youth that was shut down

to love again

to be loved and feel it

to be respected and to respect others

to trust and be trusted

to be at peace

to be able to say I want this: or that:

to have the health to live a full life

to be able to hear and accept everyone's goodness

Donnie

your poem about Wants was very poignant and I thank you for sharing it with us. As children, we were motivated by the sheer will to survive to assert our wants. Eventually, as we grew older, we learned to question whether our desires were legitimate. Adults learn how to cope with hearing the word "no," "not now," "I have a headache," "Can I get back to you on that?" "I regret to inform you..."

As an adult, I know that it is not always OK to want what I want. I want a lot of things that are unreasonable. I don't ask for those things.

But really, what I want is to be taken seriously. But how do I go about that without sounding like Eric Cartman, saying "You must respect my authori-tay!"

I want my dad to be alive
I want those that hurt me to feel pain
I want to feel so much joy I could just burst
Oh I already felt such joy

I am glad for all the great things in my life
I pray for karma

MJ