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#345432 - 11/16/10 03:10 PM What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA?
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
First,

Let me explain that I am NOT informed at all, and am seeking information about how ASA is different as it relates to the trauma a victim undergoes as an adult in a sexually abusive attack than a child.

ASA survivors have expressed feelings of separation as to the recovery of ASA versus the recovery of sexual abuse, in any context.

I wish to support the recovery of my ASA brothers,

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345437 - 11/16/10 03:29 PM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: SamV]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
For me the actual act of the ASA, was more traumatic as it happened when I was actually more aware of what was happening.

As a man compared to a child, I was more into the act as I put myself in the situation - although I had no idea of their violent intent.

I had a harder time connecting emotionally to the abusive part.

I am able to forgive little Donnie more than the adult Donnie.

Donnie

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#345443 - 11/16/10 03:39 PM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: Avery46]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Thank you, Donnie,

As a child, therefore, one may not be in control, to be responsible, but as an adult, while the same is true, that is more difficult to process.

Even though adults can be overwhelmed, attacked and controlled, the thought that one can allow sexual abuse to be perpetrated can call into question the power of a man, and with that, a myriad of questions about the abuse in the mind of a mature, adult male.

That must so difficult to bare, Donnie, thank you for sharing your pain with me, I am honored.

Peace and self care,
Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345473 - 11/16/10 07:56 PM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: SamV]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
ASA and CSA are more alike than they are dissimilar. Neither experience should ever happen and while it is often hard for me to relate to some of the concerns that people with CSA seem to have, I always try to understand where they are coming from & their experiences are still more like mine than say, someone who wasn't abused.

Some men who were abused as adults didn't have a 'dysfunctional' childhood. My parents were both good parents who gave me the love, structure and enrichment a young boy needs as he is growing up. They weren't perfect, but they were "pretty good."

I can't speak for all ASA victims but I have a hard time understanding the sex addiction/ same sex attraction thing. Since most guys have already figured out their sexual preferences by the time they reach adulthood, from what I've observed here, the whole SSA thing doesn't seem as common (Correct me if I'm wrong).

I don't really know what I'm talking about and I'm really just figuring out this whole "surviving ASA" thing as I go along.

I don't think I have an inner child. I think instead I have a grown man inside who has been buried under all the filth of what happened to me. I worked so hard to build who I was. You can make it to adulthood in one piece and still have your manhood shattered--emotionally AND physically.

since my abuse happened while I was a married man, there is this picture of our marriage BEFORE my abuse, and then there is the marriage AFTER abuse. It is hard to explain, but I really do feel bad for my wife. I'm not the man she married. I'm not able to be there for her like I used to. Often women get married and then find out their husbands are CSA victims. But trust me, it is so different when the abuse happens while you are married at the time of abuse. When a married man is abused, his wife is abused, too. I can't tell you how much guilt I still live with, worrying that somehow, I cheated on my wife.

I have not had sex with her yet post-abuse, but I'm afraid the marriage bed has been corrupted. We built a beautiful life together but that life just isn't the same anymore.

Both CSA and ASA affect your sense of masculinity, your sex life, your relationships and your mental health, but I think the difference is... CSA interrupts a young boy's life during a time when a lot of psychological growth is happening. Your worldview hasn't formed completely. You haven't figured out how to live on your own. ASA happens to men who are living on their own. While no one truly ever stops growing, adult men have a more mature outlook on life and there comes a point where your sexuality can be considered as-is. I finished college & went to grad school and had a career. I had a wife. I became a father. Now, the question is... who am I in the context of what happened to me?

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#345536 - 11/17/10 11:46 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: CruxFidelis]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: CruxFidelis
ASA and CSA are more alike than they are dissimilar. Neither experience should ever happen and while it is often hard for me to relate to some of the concerns that people with CSA seem to have, I always try to understand where they are coming from & their experiences are still more like mine than say, someone who wasn't abused.
I think instead I have a grown man inside who has been buried under all the filth of what happened to me. I worked so hard to build who I was. You can make it to adulthood in one piece and still have your manhood shattered--emotionally AND physically.

This is good information, Pete, thank you.
The trauma of ASA is extreme and emotionally "freezing". A grown, vital, mature man, in his prime, can be attacked, and conquered.
ASA survivors made it through the infant, childhood, tween years, teens, and young adulthood. You find love, driver's license, vehicle ownership, freedom, graduation, higher education, apprenticeships and so on... and then, after maybe settling down into a career, partnership and maybe children, the white picket fence... an attacker perpetrates a most damaging and traumatic event.
This event(s) shatters the ideal of protection, security and ability, then, the post stress creates a dissociative cognition that allows fear to continue to perpetrate the victim.

Originally Posted By: CruxFidelis
When a married man is abused, his wife is abused, too. I can't tell you how much guilt I still live with, worrying that somehow, I cheated on my wife... I have not had sex with her yet post-abuse, but I'm afraid the marriage bed has been corrupted. We built a beautiful life together but that life just isn't the same anymore.

Fidelity in a marriage, or partnership, is more than the sum of the parts of the union. So when that fidelity is perpetrated against, and the body betrays the man, by reacting to the abuse, ASA survivors have to contend with the traditional view of marriage and unions. The questions of fidelity must haunt the ASA survivor well into recovery.

Originally Posted By: CruxFidelis
ASA happens to men who are living on their own. While no one truly ever stops growing, adult men have a more mature outlook on life and there comes a point where your sexuality can be considered as-is. I finished college & went to grad school and had a career. I had a wife. I became a father. Now, the question is... who am I in the context of what happened to me?

The abuse damages the outlook of a confident man, as he contemplates the next 10, 15, or 60 years. He sees it as unchangeable, as ideal. The attack calls almost every foundation and the current status quo into question, but the questions are covered in fear and uncertainty.

Thank you, Pete, for allowing me a look into your struggle. You honor me with your sharing.

Peace and self care, find the safety in you, as you have found it in MS and in your marriage.

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345628 - 11/18/10 07:49 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: SamV]
teebone21 Offline


Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 187
Loc: Zaandam
This is all really confusing 2 me


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#345630 - 11/18/10 08:20 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: teebone21]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
It takes patient, and time, Travis,

The experiences and sharing can be heard, and the definitions can be researched and understood, but what is so evasive about abuse and recovery is that emotions are involved.
These emotions inhibit the mind's ability to assimilate the understanding of the definitions.

Be patient with yourself and your recovery, Travis. You are in the right place, at the right time, and you are accepting training to become revitalized, refreshed, solid, and stable.

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345631 - 11/18/10 08:25 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: SamV]
teebone21 Offline


Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 187
Loc: Zaandam
I GET what you are saying but its not that. but i dont wanna say here cuz it aint my post so ill put it somewhere else. thanks bro


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#345635 - 11/18/10 08:42 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: teebone21]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Excellent, Travis, I look forward to your post.

Thank you ASA survivors, for the space and time on this post.
Please, continue to define ASA as it disables and the recovery that renews the sufferer.

"Understanding and reason are the vaccinations to the virus that keeps good men low."
Time for an inoculation, my brothers, for all of us.

Sincerely,
Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345639 - 11/18/10 09:16 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: SamV]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Sam,

I appreciate your seeking a better understanding of those who have been assaulted as adults. I think Peter stated a lot of what first came to my mind. For me I believe that there are core truths to any type of abuse whether the victim/survivor is male, female, a child, a teen or an adult. But I also believe that there are some differences for all as well.

You mentioned the word treatment and I would like to basically address that. It comes down to perspective for me. On a basic human level the core truths of sexual abuse and the effects are evident no matter the gender or the age of the victim/survivor. But research shows that the male and female perspectives are different on many levels. The same would hold true for a female child and a female adult. When it comes to the abuse of boys and the assaults of men that same thought on mental perspectives comes into play. I think it is quite logical that my perspective as an assaulted young adult was quite different than that of an abused boy. It does not remove the commonalities we share in our abuse nor the bonds of brotherhood. But those unique perspectives do need to be addressed by therapists, authors and treatment centers. Otherwise they are simply not connecting fully with the clients they serve.

Even simple verbage can cause me to connect or disconnect with what I am reading. I prefer the term assault over abuse. It defines my experience far better from my perspective.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#345645 - 11/18/10 10:02 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: prisonerID]
earlybird Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
I like to join in on this conversation and to thank Sam for starting this thread. I have some trepidation in speaking my mind for fear that it will be mistaken for somehow trying to separate us for the larger community of survivors. I already feel distant and don’t wish to further separate myself and I hope that some will cut me some slack if I do not express myself in a way that is acceptable.

Daryl, your comment about using the word assault verses abuse is spot on and I believe just that one tweak of verbiage changes the overall perspective for the writer and the reader. In abuse the child is placed into the unbearable position of trying to separate and untangle issues of what is love? Who can I trust? Where was the protection, I and all children, deserve from adults? I know this is a shorten list of major issues and confusion for a CSA and trust me, if you can, I admire all of you who are struggling to gain understanding and growth beyond the damage done.

For me the issues are extremely different. I struggle greatly with the fear and concepts such as knowing death so intimately. I don’t struggle with why was I not protected I wrestle with the fact I failed to protect myself. Each time I read a CSA stating his anger as to why he wasn’t protected I feel the blade of shame and guilt for not protecting myself. I was the adult that failed to protect! It is me you are railing against. I understand this anger towards those who are to protect and don’t. You have a right to be angry. I share this same anger but the problem is, is that it is directed at myself. I also struggle with the failure of not recognizing the situation for what it was and changing the outcome. Also the knowledge I gave into my fears. Then there is the anger and struggles with the inner demon of hate. A foreign resident that now had been forced into my heart and psyche through the penis of two other men. Hate now a roommate I detest and have struggled to evict. I know that the CSA struggles with anger, fear, and hate as well. I have read hundreds of accounts on this issue with the CSA’s but I still feel there is a different conversation to be had with the ASA’s.

Again my thanks to Sam. Earlybird

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

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#345648 - 11/18/10 10:40 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: prisonerID]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Daryl,

My sincere appreciation for your clarification. May your recovery be lined with expanded definitions. May you find the defining explanation that settles the trauma into manageable expressions. It seems you may be well on your way, IMHO.

The definition of abuse is improper, harmful, offensive, harsh, insultingly, sexual, improper, corrupt, and can be self-inflicted or perpetrated by another.
This IS too broad, and therefore generalizes specific criminal definitions and the specific symptoms and treatments of ASA.

Assault is violent, unlawful, in association with battery, threatening, close combat, attack or assail.
The correct moniker specifically and correctly does take ambiguity out of the act, and aims the legal, and medical profession to understand and validate the specifics unique to this felonious act.

May we all continue to hone ASA and educate the system, our suffering brothers, and supporters to the symptoms and recovery of ASA, Adult Sexual Assault.

Thank you,
Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345649 - 11/18/10 11:21 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: earlybird]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
You and I have shared much, Eeb's, and my perspective has been sharpened, thanks to your insight.

I admire your post, Earlybird. Before you get into your abuse definitions, you place common ground between the reader and the author, very humble, very pleasing, many thanks. The effort is enthusiastically reciprocated.

The certainty of power, identity and confidence in oneself in mature adult perspective is very solid. Adults are their own masters of their destiny, and can think and act without a net, autonomous.
Then, this vicious act of assault rips at the core of the solidity. Constriction, control, violation, manipulation, helplessness, rage and fear mingling with blood and sweat.

The man is confronted with his frailty, his limits, his mortality. He is condemned to accept the parameters of the abuse as the nature of his "universe." He retreats, the vision of his future on fire, immanent destruction, yes, even death.
The assault has made the man gaze upon his own death, and to recognize himself in that state.

The tumult continues, internally, unabated. ASA's turmoil surrounds the victim, not the circumstances. "Why didn't I?" "I am more than this!" "Where was my power?" The victim never gets the relief, the benefit of the doubt, the access to healing.

There is no "higher authority", no one who was supposed to protect, the victim is the security, and so in losing the identity of the victim, the security is lost as well. The protector, the seer, the warrior, the valuable cargo, all lost. The battle is over, the victim has suffered total and complete loss. The little he had is taken.

The treatment? May I? In my arrogance? May I offer?

The sufferer is a forest, the attacker, an arsonist. Ravaged and desolate, the coal black stricken towers of once majestic pillars, now smoldering in twisted pain.
The end has come, it is finished.
... Wait!
... What is this?
While there are those that look to the surface, and grieve that which is singed and burnt, those who know, are scouring the earth.
... What for?
As the attacker claimed victory, as that piece of filth claimed the spirit of the man, unbeknown to the braggart, was the forest's courageous defense, and its salvation.
For unknown to the attacker, the forest spread its seed, and the fire that consumed the trees and bush, could not clutch, could not consume the seed.
The seed does again grow the forest, the attacker does wane and fade, shriveled by the inner fuels and toxins that consume.
The forest finds rebirth, and in that... security and identity. It's beauty and resilience a magnificent sight on the horizon.., the forest.., the man.

To Earlybird, to my brothers, to the ASA survivors that have so graciously given me a glimpse into their suffering and recovery, my sincerest appreciation.

Sam



Edited by sasuva (11/18/10 11:39 AM)
Edit Reason: poetic license
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345726 - 11/19/10 04:01 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: SamV]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
I really appreciate the effort of my brothers who were sexually assaulted as adults to educate us. I found this publication from New South Wales in Australia called " When a Man is Raped" informative and practical.

Are there any recommended resources for ASA survivors that we need to have pinned somewhere for reference?

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#345738 - 11/19/10 08:41 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
"Remind yourself that you did what seemed best at the time
to survive - there's nothing unmasculine about that."

This is from the above booklet that efm posted. I just read this and found it to be one of the best things I have seen in a long time. I never heard it put that way. I read through page 14 and will finish reading this evening. This seems to be a very well thought out and informative booklet.

efm, thanks for finding and posting this here. It would be good to have some reference sites or articles available for men who come here. I would like to see the site library expanded in that direction but realize there is not much out there.

I spoke with another man who is ASA here and he related a deep fear for himself. He asked that I write it here in his place. He talked of how he wrestles with leftover shadows from his assault. He related how his, in his eyes, lack of ability to prevent the assault and protect himself haunts him as a father and husband. That sense of failure still haunts him in the thoughts of being the man his family needs especially in an emergency or dangerous situation. He thought it may be his own unique issue but I would say there are other men here who have wives or partners and children.

I will not argue with him since this is his posting. I will only repeat something: "Remind yourself that you did what seemed best at the time to survive - there's nothing unmasculine about that."


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#345749 - 11/19/10 10:04 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: prisonerID]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
That booklet contains so much, I have just begun to scratch the surface.
Mark, thank you for this reference.

I hope that those brothers that may have had an unwanted sexual experience, whether verbal or emotional, a grope, assault, battery or rape as adults read this, and understand the terminology, and the help that is available.

Daryl, to your brother, who through you, is coming to understand recovery and open up to it, peace and self care, my brother, as you see the way through silence and shame to rebuilding you.
I too fear for the safety and wellbeing of my almost grown children, and my beautiful wife, and me, equally me.

Asking another to post for you, in you stead, is healthy and progressive. I, as Daryl, will certainly take your thoughts and experience to the boards anonymously. Please, just let us know how we can be your "voice", temporarily, until you can recover your own. It is our privilege and honor to reach out.

Yes, Daryl, behave. wink

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#345755 - 11/19/10 11:05 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: prisonerID]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Originally Posted By: prisonerID

I spoke with another man who is ASA here and he related a deep fear for himself. He asked that I write it here in his place. He talked of how he wrestles with leftover shadows from his assault. He related how his, in his eyes, lack of ability to prevent the assault and protect himself haunts him as a father and husband. That sense of failure still haunts him in the thoughts of being the man his family needs especially in an emergency or dangerous situation. He thought it may be his own unique issue but I would say there are other men here who have wives or partners and children.

I will not argue with him since this is his posting. I will only repeat something: "Remind yourself that you did what seemed best at the time to survive - there's nothing unmasculine about that."

Daryl


This is something that haunts me at of the time, too. Maybe it's true that I kick ass at Street Fighter and I defeated all the bosses on Super Mario Brothers, but as far as actually being able to defend myself in any useful way, i am physically vulnerable. I might be able to rescue the virtual princess, but in real life if anything happened to my wife, I wouldn't be the one to save the day. I never used to be paranoid about being the victim of another crime, but I obsessively check the Megan's Law sex offender database and my local police blotter. Someone stole my sister's bike in my backyard, and another time someone stole my lawnmower (WTF?) and broke into our car. These things are stupid and annoying aspects of living in a middle class neighborhood that is very close to a very, very poor crime-ridden neighborhood, but they always make me worry that I'm being targeted. I know it doesn't make sense, they were probably just teenage boys causing trouble in the middle of the night.

Earlybird's words about feeling like he is the adult that failed to protect also resonated with me. I tried with all the strength inside me to fight off my attacker but there just wasn't enough. Children are not of age to make informed consent, and they are often physically and emotionally more vulnerable to coercion and force. But never in a million years did I ever think that as a 28 year old married man, I would be raped.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#345839 - 11/20/10 09:20 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: CruxFidelis]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I truly believe that this is a common marker among all of us. I have run scenario after scenario in my mind thousands of times. What I could or should have done differently. I run these scenarios at the car wash. When I was walked up the stairs to my apartment. When later I was walked down them back to my car after a night of all that happened. When we were at the bank ATM withdrawing my money. What could I have done to have gotten away?

I failed that night as a man to protect my belongings, my car and my money. And I could not stop them from what they did to me. That left me with self doubt about my manhood and my abilities in my life. How could I protect anyone else?

This is what our assaults left us with. And what we have to keep trying to work through.




Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#346521 - 11/29/10 10:48 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: prisonerID]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Too often I find the "why's" overwhelming the "now's" and the positive things I can do to "be".

Please, do not be hard on yourselves, this is abuse, an attack. These are pirates, highway men, thieves thugs and perpetrators. They waited for an opportunity, and it presented itself.

"Time and unforeseen occurrences befall us all". We have been stolen from and wounded. Let us recover at our pace, never letting anyone to dictate our progress, but let us progress.

What is an objective that has been helpful in this perception of adult failure? How have some of the intense emotions be alleviated?

Thank you for sharing,
Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#349114 - 12/26/10 10:38 PM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: SamV]
Guss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/17/10
Posts: 26
Loc: tx usa
I too felt I could not defend a family because I couldn't defend myself. Since that time, I have fought off a mugger. I took back some of my power over my own body. Yet, at times I still feel defenseless.
I had to learn that the part of the brain that controls erections is near the brain stem. Erections happen automatically whether you want them to or not. That is why they happen when you are asleep. If you had an erection during the assault, it was just your body responding. It wasn't you wanting it.
Movies, and tv shows tell us we that if we are "Real Men", we'll always be able to defend ourselves, and our families. Those shows are not real. There are situations where you are not able to defend yourself. I don't see how any unarmed man could defend himself against two dangerously armed attackers.



Edited by Guss (12/28/10 11:14 PM)
Edit Reason: additions
_________________________
moooooo

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#349118 - 12/27/10 12:12 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: Guss]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
I've been reading everyone else's posts ...i want to share my thoughts but...just can't yet frown

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#349127 - 12/27/10 12:25 PM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: Darkheart]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Darkheart,

When you feel you can share we will be more than glad to listen. In the meantime please know that we are glad you are here with us on this forum.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#349156 - 12/27/10 11:37 PM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: prisonerID]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Thanks Daryl ...I'm ready. It's just hard to form the words right now...too visceral ..raw. you guys know what I'm talking about.

Just glad that we can all support each other smile

Forrest

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#349176 - 12/28/10 09:56 AM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: Darkheart]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Forrest,

Yes we do know what you mean. I understand the razor blades under the skin as a man writes each word.

Before coming here the only contact I had ever had with a man who was assaulted as an adult was on the phone. He was the contact person of the hospital I was checking myself into almost fourteen years ago. This has been of great support to me.

Glad to have that support as well.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#349201 - 12/28/10 05:33 PM Re: ...treating ASA versus CSA? may trigger [Re: prisonerID]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Daryl, same here...my only contact prior was a guy that had csa...ended up using me for sex and money ...

Here, i feel supported and secure...it feels good smile

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#351195 - 01/19/11 02:10 AM Re: What is the difference in treating ASA versus CSA? [Re: prisonerID]
Hisson Offline


Registered: 01/13/11
Posts: 18
Loc: CA
my perp didn't get to rape me...but he try to over-power me and kiss me. he grabbed my leg and say nasty stuff to me. He was interviewing me for a job!! and this guys was super repulsive.

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Heal Well and God Bless!
Hisson

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