i know how you feel. i too, am married 36 years. i tried so many therapists. i gave up so much of my own desires, who i am as a woman to help him. as a fellow wife, i would like to share with you these thoughts. don't give up who you are to 'help him'. he needs to do the healing. we can't be the moms who take the hurt away. their pain is not visible to us,only they can see it, feel it, heal it. love him to the best of your ability. give him space. space is important to survivors. it lets us go at our own pace. our own. not the way somebody else wants us to feel. it sucks when your partner doesn't want sex nor intimacy. it's not you. trust me. i learned the hard way. i lost self esteem big time. i thought all along it was me.

welcome rubens girl, most women do think it is them

it is difficult for women to understand what men go thru with abuse even if they were abused

it is just the way it works, and I have not answers for helping women understand, but as a man I would say love him in other ways if he can handle touch give him a back rub, hugs, and tell him u love him and be there

abuse sucks

MJ

I could not have kids and either could my wife

we tried to adopt it is an option and many kids are in need of parents

just a thought