...I do find some men attractive from time to time...
i feel bad that this seems to be burdening you and many others it seems here and elsewhere... and it shouldn't, in my view. :-) don't listen to society. don't women whom you know notice if another woman is attractive or not? of course they do - and it SHOULD be okay for men to do the same.
just noticing a hot guy, is very different than thinking "wow, this guy is my dream boat and i'd like to spend my life with him!"
me thinks, very humbly, that in noticing an attractive man, that just maybe we see some of the same attractive qualities inside our own bodies. or maybe he triggers that thought for a first time. for survivors, i think that is an important and healthy attitude to have.