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#347445 - 12/08/10 08:00 AM Re: uncovering the problem [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
jesusfreesya Offline


Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 27
efm,
As I said, it was my choice to cont. this thread publicly and to fully reply to your previous, longish post, but I have been directed not to do so on the f&f forum. At the spiritual forum, I am permitted to discuss topics from a spiritual point of view, while even there, I have been directed that my participation must be minimal considering that female posters are also considered triggers on this site by some. The other option given to me is to invite those who want to discuss this thread further to do so in PM., but there as well, only to express my spiritual approach to life minimally and with the express consent of those who choose this option.

I do plan to cont. at the f&f forum, but will not share my spiritual approach to sa here in the future. My thread here will be left as a courtesy this time. Anyone who reads it can see how I approach this issue and if they want to contact me by PM, that is up to them. Obviously, you and I have different belief systems and approach therapy/counseling differently. It is your perception that I am judgmental since I do not favor the same approach as you. Since you have elected not to meet me in PM to resolve our differences as two individuals with very different mindsets, showing respect, but agreeing to disagree, I accept your choice.

For the purposes of the f&f forum, it saddens me that I can not lend my spiritual experience which has completely healed my life and that of countless others for a myriad of issues including sa, but I am a guest here and must abide by the rules. So, you can be assured that I will no longer get on a spiritual track. That prohibits me from replying to your post in the truth of who I am as a person, but I will certainly cont. to educate myself on sa. by participating in threads and starting new threads as that is why I came here.

jesusfreesya


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#348166 - 12/15/10 01:29 AM Re: uncovering the problem [Re: jesusfreesya]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I think the best two things you can do for someone who is suffering from the effects of childhood abuse:

1- Love them unconditionally
2- Respect their process
3- Be clear with your personal boundaries - what is unacceptable to you

If they do not remember their past, or choose not to tell you, there is probably a good reason for it. I speak as a man who was sexually abused by both parents, and had no memory of it until recently. Rather than blame myself, I now understand that I simply did not have the support and resources to deal with it until this point in my life.

Please use caution and utmost care and respect for this person in your family. Regardless of the pain and acting out he may be causing your family, please try to remember that true healing can only happen in an atmosphere of love and accceptance.

It sounds like you have some reasons to find out more about this person's past. I would caution the use of too much 'detective work' from the outside. I don't think it's helpful for the person if other people go digging around trying to uncover things in their past. A good therapist would not do this, because it does not respect the person's process.

I am working with a therapist who is using the Hakomi method of therapy. I find her approach makes me feel very safe, and so I am able to remember and open up on my own. It is because she has no agenda.

All the best for you and your family,
Rising Again


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#352771 - 02/04/11 07:34 AM Re: uncovering the problem [Re: risingagain]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Hi JFY I am new to MS my story is very ugly and I skimmed over the spiritual aspects of my story. As the attack started I uttered the prayer most people would say. Lord deliver me from this evil. I feel bad, 35years later for putting God on the spot. I fought against God and strugled because I mistakenly thought he didn't love me because he didn't deliver me. Looking back at the out of body experience, I was ready to die and was at peace with it. Asking for a few minutes more time to protect my mom from the pain my death would have caused her, and it bought me more life everythough I didn't see it that way until a few weeks ago. I feel like that story about the footprints in the sand. I can truly say that he carried me through my ugliest hour. Thanks for giving me a place to publicly express this. I think it is this overiding faith in God that has keep me from hurting others. I know this is a tough road but I am finally begining to see the glorious light. May God bless you this day and always Mike


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