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#348335 - 12/16/10 07:42 PM Re: Who's to Blame for CSA? Perp or Victim? [Re: Avery46]
Disappointed Offline

Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
Well, Donnie, I think I wrote it pretty clearly, but maybe not. The written word doesn't have alot of the signals of communications, such as inflection, facial expression, volume, etc.

What I am saying is, from what the men here have written, especially in the survivors of female abuse section, is that some of their mothers abused them because the mother wanted a substitute for a healthy relationship with someone their equal. Maybe they did't have a babysitter, or couldn't afford a babysitter, or weren't motivated to even look for a babysitter.

So, instead of going out and looking for to meet a mature adult man to have a relationship with, the mom would stay home and have a relationship with her male child instead.

I didn't mean the mom would take the child with her to the grocery store, and maybe some guy would think she looked very nice and motherly, and maybe ask her out.

Is that clearer? I hope so.

Heal well, Donnie.


Edited by Disappointed (12/16/10 08:36 PM)
Edit Reason: grammar correction

#348356 - 12/17/10 08:44 AM Re: Who's to Blame for CSA? Perp or Victim? [Re: Avery46]
1227ms Offline

Registered: 12/01/10
Posts: 98
Loc: PA
To add to walking souths great answer the perp also bears 100% of the blame in adolescent/ adolescent abuse too.. in my (very strong) opinion...

Thanks for reinforcing this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those were my abuse years. I still wrestle with the feelings of responsibility and having felt pleasure during it. My intellect knows the answers, but it takes a lot of work to get my heart in the same place.

“Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.”
Hermann Hesse

Hope Springs alumnus 2011

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