Well, Donnie, I think I wrote it pretty clearly, but maybe not. The written word doesn't have alot of the signals of communications, such as inflection, facial expression, volume, etc.

What I am saying is, from what the men here have written, especially in the survivors of female abuse section, is that some of their mothers abused them because the mother wanted a substitute for a healthy relationship with someone their equal. Maybe they did't have a babysitter, or couldn't afford a babysitter, or weren't motivated to even look for a babysitter.

So, instead of going out and looking for to meet a mature adult man to have a relationship with, the mom would stay home and have a relationship with her male child instead.

I didn't mean the mom would take the child with her to the grocery store, and maybe some guy would think she looked very nice and motherly, and maybe ask her out.

Is that clearer? I hope so.

Heal well, Donnie.

D.

Thanks for reinforcing this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those were my abuse years. I still wrestle with the feelings of responsibility and having felt pleasure during it. My intellect knows the answers, but it takes a lot of work to get my heart in the same place.