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#344117 - 11/04/10 02:35 PM 2 things my mother said to me *gross* *triggers*
Neverquit Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 147
Loc: Ohio
Hey guys, these two memories of mine have been bothing me and I wanted to share them in hopes of reframing and lessing their power over me.

When I was 8 or 9 I asked my mom what her most embarrassing moment was. I was expecting her to say something like she forgot a line in a play but she told me she was wearing white jeans and had her period and the blood soaked through and people could see a big bloody spot down there. I felt horrified and disgusted.

When I was about 14-15 I asked her a question about the female body. She was sitting right infront of me and started getting more and more desciptive and then I cut her off and assertively said, "I dont want to hear it" about 5 times in a row. She got a really sadistic look on her face and then said, "everything shifts and the blood goes (and she made this really gross shit/fart sound) as she spread her legs and ran both hands over her crotch to signify waste exiting her.

I got up and started stomping around cussing and 5 minutes later my dad interupts me and says, "your mother says you're very upset and she has no idea why." I thought maybe I am being sensitive and took the blame of my reaction.

Those things arnt normal, shes a very vile and disgusting woman right?

~Grant

_________________________
There is always hope

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#344125 - 11/04/10 03:40 PM Re: 2 things my mother said to me *gross* *triggers* [Re: Neverquit]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
Those are indeed vile and disgusting things for ANY woman to force upon any child. It is only more disgusting and vile that it was your own mother who did this to you, her child.

She is supposed to care for you and protect you. Not contaminate you with her own problems.

You are a remarkable child for surviving, reaching out, healing, and growing, despite all of these obstacles.

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#344126 - 11/04/10 03:40 PM Re: 2 things my mother said to me *gross* *triggers* [Re: Neverquit]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Grant,

I find these two situations to be very disturbing for a mom to share those details to her son even if the son was an adult. It is very disturbing to know you were a boy when she shared this.

My mom did and said disgusting things as well.

A

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#344146 - 11/04/10 06:30 PM Re: 2 things my mother said to me *gross* *triggers* [Re: Avery46]
Neverquit Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 147
Loc: Ohio
Thanks guys,

I just really needed to be validated on this. I realized the other day that on a very core level I believe I am a bad person because its what I needed to believe to survive. Im really trying to challenge these perceptions of mine that Im at fault for even thinking anything is wrong with the way she treated me... because Im a bad person! That core belief must me changed so I can be free.

~Grant

_________________________
There is always hope

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#344148 - 11/04/10 06:46 PM Re: 2 things my mother said to me *gross* *triggers* [Re: Neverquit]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
Wow. Isn't it amazing what we believe about ourselves sometimes?

Well, I just want right now to go "on-record," publicly, officially, in front of the d*mn whole world to say this: that I have met few, a very precious tiny rare few, men in this world who are as remarkable, smart, wise, talented, brave, resourceful, insightful, and just d*mn cool as you are, Grant. And I am So Not just blowing smoke up your *ss!

I can't wait to see the result when you are finally fully free from the false notion that you held about yourself being a bad person. Buddy, I choose you over just about anybody I can think of ... any day. Keep working through the fog, man. If ANY body is going to make it through well, it's gonna be you, Grant. It's gonna be you. Just remember us old hacks when you get there, buddy!

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#344153 - 11/04/10 08:17 PM Re: 2 things my mother said to me *gross* *triggers* [Re: EvanCan]
Dusty Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 280
Loc: Australia
Grant


I got pissed off at that woman on your behalf when I read your post. She was completely wrong to talk like that to you at 8 or 9 boys of that age are not ready for details like that. In my opinion it was a form of abuse.

Your second memory same deal way over the top in de>

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