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#344026 - 11/03/10 02:33 PM Triggered!
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Been at the hospital with my wife since Saturday. She's got a major Cancer scare we knew nothing about. At first caring for her and the kids felt great and made me feel in control again. Now I'm just scared planning for a major surgery.

My F-ing CSA crap is got me back in panic mode. She's just a great wife and mom. I hate thinking of me at all right now when its got to be all about her. She's always there for me.

Right now her challenge is so big and she's laughing her way through it. Why can't I?

I hate this Sh#t. Who doesn't.......

Hug someone you love today especially yourself!

Keith

Keith

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#344028 - 11/03/10 02:45 PM Re: Triggered! [Re: kb8715]
Silly Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 140
Loc: Virginia
Keith!! You and yours are in my thoughts buddy!!

Shane

_________________________
http://esdgc.com/links/shaneCSA.html

http://seriouslysilly67.blogspot.com/

The Round Table, Men's Sexual Abuse Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#344044 - 11/03/10 06:55 PM Re: Triggered! [Re: Silly]
blaidd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 240
Loc: Australia
Oh Man, so sorry to hear this... Know how tough it is to be there for someone when the CSA is running amok in our own head. I feel for what you are going through.

_________________________
Blaidd (pronounced as blaith/blithe) is a welsh word meaning wolf.

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#344045 - 11/03/10 07:07 PM Re: Triggered! [Re: blaidd]
CheerfulJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/10
Posts: 142
Loc: England (at the moment)
Thinking of you Keith and your wife.

I trust you will get all the support you need.


CJ

_________________________
Wolves will live with lambs. Leopards will lie down with goats. Calves, young lions, and year-old lambs will be together, and little children will lead them.

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#344046 - 11/03/10 07:45 PM Re: Triggered! [Re: CheerfulJohn]
james 1959 Offline


Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 285
im sorry Keith you have alot to deal with i will be thinking and praying for you, your wife and family at this time.

James

_________________________
We are brothers on a journey,and companions on the road
We are here to help each other share the burden and the Load

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#344047 - 11/03/10 08:21 PM Re: Triggered! [Re: james 1959]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Hi, Keith.

I am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

It is ok to focus on as well. Gather strength from your family including us here.

Donnie

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#344198 - 11/05/10 09:45 AM Re: Triggered! [Re: Avery46]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Thanks for all the good wishes here and in PM. Positive thinking can only help.

I guess if I am looking for a positive out of a bad deal it would be that I've stayed 100% on plan with my recovery at a time I'm panicked and scared.

Few years back we went through some heavy health crap with our oldest son and then I would act out like crazy, telling myself it was ok, I deserved the relief, and after all I was a CSA victim.

Not this time. I was tempted a few times to go there this week but I haven't and I am not. I'm never going back there.

Sometimes I guess the best we can do is to hang tough and try to take care of oursleves and those around us.

By the way our oldest kid is now 18, confident, focused, popular and in full control of his ongoing health issue. I was none of those things at his age due to csa at 11. Am I glad he is so different? Hell yeah.....

Be well all and thanks as always for your support.

Keith

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#344204 - 11/05/10 10:20 AM Re: Triggered! [Re: kb8715]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Keith,

I am glad to hear you are able to stick with your "recovery".

I too have NOT acted out as I call acting out in a long time.

Thanks for telling us about you.

Donnie

_________________________
aka DJsport

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