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#343800 - 10/31/10 11:06 PM i see it....
looking2heal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 100
Loc: pa
theres is hard because i see how i can be taken but thats not how i ever meant it to be...bare with me on this but i think this is important in my process...its over a small thing but its a bigger problem
so ....crown royal has bags that they put their liquor in well, they came out with a camo colored one and i wasnt able 2 get one of them at my job they only had 3 and i wasnt there when they came in and i couldnt get any of the 3 to give up theres. lol....know i could have went and tried to buy one but ....it wasnt all like that, but then last nite i got one and i was showing it off and then 2day i showd some ppl...i do this because im happy i think that its cool( i realize its only a bag but) but in doing this some ppl may look at it as ...look what i have you dont ...and could see it for what it isnt...but is it that do iwant ppl 2 see what i have and wish they had it s that they would think im 'cool' so they see me as better ....but better to who...is it that bag that ppl like ....no, but it could be the bag that makes ppl not like me....am i reading 2 much into this or is this a bigger problem ...am i coming off wrong 2 ppl does it matter ...oh man see this is the over thinkn everything that drives me crazy...does anyone understand???

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taking the steps to healing inside

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#343851 - 11/01/10 04:46 PM Re: i see it.... [Re: looking2heal]
Gamgee Offline


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 25
Loc: Canada
I think it's normal and healthy to want to share with others things that please us. It's part of why the human race has survived, because we share ideas and discoveries. It's also natural to feel good about getting attention for sharing, because it affirms our value to other people. I don't think it has to be about comparing ourselves to others, just getting recognition that we matter and letting others know that they matter enough to us to share what we like and know. Ron.


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#343854 - 11/01/10 04:59 PM Re: i see it.... [Re: Gamgee]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I think you have it already.
Your original motivation was socially normal, and acceptable. The showing off part is also normal in that context.
You seeing that others may be hurt by you showing off something they do not have is your mind increasing its size and view of the world. You can still persue and aquire "cool" things but now you know that some may resent it or feel bad about themselves when you show them.
That is their personal issue if you are still just trying to include them in something you felt was a personal accomplishment. That is something they must overcome.
But if you are rubbing their faces in it or they think you are then it is hurtful and you must either make sure they understand your motives or just stop including them since they do not give you the benefit of the doubt when you try to include them.

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As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#343856 - 11/01/10 05:09 PM Re: i see it.... [Re: looking2heal]
looking2heal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 100
Loc: pa
i quess i just want 2 be myself but i dont want 2 come off wrong nor do i want 2 trigger others...maybe it comes down 2 i want everyone 2 like me, but its hard 2 learn that no matter what u do some will not like me not matter what

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taking the steps to healing inside

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#343861 - 11/01/10 06:56 PM Re: i see it.... [Re: looking2heal]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
That's it exactly. The hard part is being copascetic(sp?) with something you cannot control.

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As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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