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#343752 - 10/31/10 10:47 AM Non-Sexual Mood Triggers
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I know I have triggers involving sexual statements and, what I view as being, actions.

But I also realize that I have some severe mood triggers. The one that seems to affect my mood the most is my weight. If I gain then I feel down and worthless. I feel like I am a failure and not worth the price of a square wheel. I am overly sensitive, prone to anger and isolate more than normal. I have the desire to do self damage and feel depression creeping in on me. The thoughts of going back to laxative use and fasting pop into my head as immediate solutions. I recognize this and in the past few months have done better at dealing with it. But it is a real boulder that runs me over when I step on the scale and see my number go up a notch.

I was just wondering what mood triggers other guys here wrestle with in their lives that are not sexual in nature.


Thanks,

Daryl



Edited by prisonerID (10/31/10 10:57 AM)
Edit Reason: grammar - I tend to speak Okie
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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#343753 - 10/31/10 10:58 AM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: prisonerID]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1275
Loc: kansas
being ignored, left out... especially by my family... that triggers me in a major way.

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#343767 - 10/31/10 01:26 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: Obi]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
PrisonerID,
I have weight related mood triggers too. I haven't gone past using laxatives for the intended purpose yet. I can tell you this from my knowledge of being fit and desire to exercise whenever pain lets me and that is you will gain weight as you begin because you will first start to put on muscle which weighs more than fat. This is a GOOD thing it means your body is acting correctly. Then if you continue you will begin to lose more fat than you are putting on in muscle and weight will start to go down. The fact is weight is a pretty meaningless number once you achieve fitness. It should be used as a tool to maintain knowledge of how your body is reacting to whatever exercises you are doing.
Having been one I know that this is the number one factor that stops people from exercising when they begin with good intent. I was depressed by it too. It was only when I had managed to lose the weight because I had to work so hard to be able to eat. I then learned to eat right as I wasn't gaining any more muscle even though I was exercisine like mad. When I finally began to eat right I started to gain weight but I wasn't getting fat. That is how I put it together and the things people said to me that I usually ignored, started to make sense to me.

Other triggers; Manipulation, lies, unfairness... there are more I just don't have ready access to them right now.




Edited by kidneythis (10/31/10 01:28 PM)
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As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#343771 - 10/31/10 02:46 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: kidneythis]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
what is a mood trigger? i don't know all the kidns of triggers

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#343772 - 10/31/10 03:04 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: CruxFidelis]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
For me a mood trigger is that I can be in a pretty decent disposition. Then I get offset by something that deeply affects my mood. Makes me fall back into darker thoughts and attitudes.

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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#343774 - 10/31/10 03:29 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: prisonerID]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
so instead of triggering a PTSD flashback it triggers a mood swing?

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#343775 - 10/31/10 03:50 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: CruxFidelis]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
That is the terminogy I use for it. I can really be riding pretty good and then crash hard from it. Today has been a battle like that.

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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#343776 - 10/31/10 03:55 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: prisonerID]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
To jump in unasked here, I think emotional flashbacks (what I call them) are a part of PTSD that is not visual. I think we go back to feeling the terror, lack of self worth, etc. that we had during or after the attack when we get triggered this way. I've had this.

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As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#343804 - 10/31/10 11:46 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: kidneythis]
brother2none Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/30/09
Posts: 262
Loc: Undisclosed
I have these triggers happen often I think. I am being treated for PTSD. There are times where I have this severe mood swing that usually leads me to be angry, and then leads me to compulsive MB which is the mask to feel something other than anger, or isolation, or lack of self worth. I wish I knew more about how this happens, what the triggers are triggering.

I do know this: I was triggered today during a phone conversation with an uncle, and I initially felt unsupported and worthless. I observed within myself some sadness and upset, which within minutes (during which I was distracted by getting dinner together), turned to anger at some household situations, and in the end, a stomach full of anger and anxiety and self doubt.


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#343811 - 11/01/10 04:17 AM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: brother2none]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
H.A.L.T - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired are all moods for which I am triggered. Being tired is a big problem now with my having severe flashbacks.

Good question Daryl.

Donnie

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#343820 - 11/01/10 08:45 AM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: prisonerID]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
I sometimes get triggered by watching my wife (or someone else) take care of our son.

My abuse happened in the hospital, and people had to do everything for me, as you would for a baby. I was so vulnerable... the "perfect victim" as my perp told me. Sometimes I watch him get a bath, or have his diaper changed, or get dressed and you can tell in his eyes that he trusts all the adults around him, just like I trusted the people who cared for me in the ICU and later the normal hospital floor where the abuse happened. It reminds me how helpless I was at the time, and the lack of physical progress I've made since that time.

Daryl, my heart breaks for you after hearing you talk about your struggles with body image and weight. I wish you didn't have to tie your sense of self-worth with your weight. Your body needs the nourishment and your brain benefits from it too. I remember the years when I was going through severe malnutrition and it was so hard to even think or function. As I got thinner so did my patience with other people and my threshold for frustration. I wonder if there was a way you could replace the triggers associated with gaining weight (which from a health perspective might not be a bad thing) with positive mood triggers, like feeling satisfied when you are full, or energized when you are giving your body the "fuel" it needs to function correctly. I guess it's easy for me to say all these things but maybe not as easy to do them.

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“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#343822 - 11/01/10 09:03 AM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: CruxFidelis]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Peter,

I think helplessness is a powerful trigger and in your situation a very intense one. What I see in you is a very bright and capable person who has an inner strength that I greatly admire. I think you have hit upon an insightful thing in that needing others is a trigger that I had not really looked at much. I think many here could agree with what you said - in different circumstances of course. Placing trust in another who then hurts you is a broken vow that is so damaging. This thing who called himself a man did this to you. You are the real man in this story for here you are a voice for yourself and others. You have certainly made a difference in my life.

Thanks for your kind and thoughtful statements here. I think it is time to dig in deeper on this and attempt to alter my thought patterns some more. I truly am much better but that is a relative term. That is what my last T told me anyway. He applauded the advances I had made. But I recall how crushed and resistant I was when he said it was time to do more. Almost every waking thought is connected to eating, not eating and all that goes with this. I am tired and very worn out from this. There are triggers for kicking it in too which I need to look at as well.

I took the day off from work since yesterday was the worst day I have had in a time. I think while I rebound from that I need to sit still and do some thinking as well.

I don't take your words as "easy for you but difficult for me" for I know you would not advise from simply an intellectual point but from your heart as well. I appreciate that.

I need to work on seeing myself as more than "just a number" as one guy put it.


Thanks,

Daryl

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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#343826 - 11/01/10 09:22 AM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: Avery46]
Gamgee Offline


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 25
Loc: Canada
Hi Daryl, I think a lot of this relates to having no sense of self-worth. It's really unfortunate that in our culture we are taught that we have to prove our worth. Not all cultures do that, recognizing that we are beyond price, just because we are living human beings. When we look at a new-born baby, we recognize how valuable they are, but soon that value is discounted and we have to start proving ourselves, usually based on some arbitrary values. From a biological point of view, many of the problems in recovering from abuse or any kind of trauma, especially in early childhood, is the way the brain forms and stores memories.We actually have two types of memories, explicit and implicit. Explicit memories are the ones we usually think of, when do I have to be at an appointment, what are my kids names, etc. These are formed and stored by the hippocampus. Implicit memories, the emotional, mostly subconscious memories about events and our feelings are formed and stored by the amygdala. Basically, the hippocampus also perceives threats and the amygdala gets us ready to deal with them. These combinations make it really hard to deal with CSA because the emotional memories are much, much stronger, as that part of the brain is revved up by adrenaline while the part that remembers the events is turned down. So, we remember the feelings of threats, pain, fear, etc. really intensely, while the memories of what really happened is foggy. (Probably has a lot to do with dissociation). It is pretty perverse, huh? But, it is a survival mechanism, alerting us to remember the fear, but protecting us from the memory of the threat. Another survival mechanism is that unpleasant, threatening events are given more importance in our memories than pleasant ones ( it's more important to remember to run away from a tiger than remember where that patch of sweet berries is!). So, when we're working on feeling better about ourselves, learning to trust, etc. we have to work a lot harder than remembering bad things. When we remember and act out the bad feelings, we are PRACTICING feeling bad. We have to make a conscious decision to practice feeling good, because whatever we practice, we become better at. We already know how to feel bad. So, we need to be patient with ourselves. To misquote that old joke. "How do you get to happiness? PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE." Ron. P.S. A hippocampus is not a university for large African mammals. Sorry, I couldn't resist.


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#343848 - 11/01/10 04:18 PM Re: Non-Sexual Mood Triggers [Re: Gamgee]
Silly Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 140
Loc: Virginia
I have all sorts of triggers...smell, visual, auditory, taste

They're all unpleasnt reminders

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