Newest Members
journey4two, VASurvivor, jayceemac, rwolf, FindingNemo
12328 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cja (49), crackerjack (55), nursemanda25 (33)
Who's Online
6 registered (VASurvivor, tbkkfile, don64, 3 invisible), 15 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12328 Members
74 Forums
63403 Topics
443283 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3
Topic Options
#345241 - 11/15/10 02:28 AM Re: Wife needs advice. Please help. [Re: hopefuture]
rubens56girl Offline


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 6
Loc: new york
i know how you feel. i too, am married 36 years. i tried so many therapists. i gave up so much of my own desires, who i am as a woman to help him. as a fellow wife, i would like to share with you these thoughts. don't give up who you are to 'help him'. he needs to do the healing. we can't be the moms who take the hurt away. their pain is not visible to us,only they can see it, feel it, heal it. love him to the best of your ability. give him space. space is important to survivors. it lets us go at our own pace. our own. not the way somebody else wants us to feel. it sucks when your partner doesn't want sex nor intimacy. it's not you. trust me. i learned the hard way. i lost self esteem big time. i thought all along it was me.


Top
#345248 - 11/15/10 07:56 AM Re: Wife needs advice. Please help. [Re: rubens56girl]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
welcome rubens girl, most women do think it is them

it is difficult for women to understand what men go thru with abuse even if they were abused

it is just the way it works, and I have not answers for helping women understand, but as a man I would say love him in other ways if he can handle touch give him a back rub, hugs, and tell him u love him and be there

abuse sucks

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#345249 - 11/15/10 08:01 AM Re: Wife needs advice. Please help. [Re: michael Joseph]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I could not have kids and either could my wife

we tried to adopt it is an option and many kids are in need of parents

just a thought

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.