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#343597 - 10/29/10 09:22 PM People Opening Up After Oprah
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Since I've posted to my blog, facebook and email list, I've had several people open up that they too were abused and shared some of their story with me. I've had some strangers share that as well. While it is heartbreaking to hear, I have always suspected many of them had things happen. If this is happening on a small level for me, just imagine what is going to be set in motion on Nov 5.

I just finished reading the book, "Father's Touch" and wow - it really opened my eyes up a bit more plus gave me a little nudge to not be so afraid (the Oprah show helped give me a little more courage as well).

My hat is off to all of us who have survived to begin breaking the silence. Several years ago, there was no way I wanted anyone to know and now - it doesn't matter to me who knows. Been a long journey to this point - but someone just slipped me into overdrive!

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#343600 - 10/29/10 10:24 PM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: MrDon]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 854
Loc: Kc,Mo
I just got back from doing my interview at the Kc Star and WoW i can not believe i just shared that so openly with out being on a emotional roller coaster it was so cool. the reporter cried several times during the interview and there i sat calm and collected . it was amazing .

i feel like an advocate for the cause spewing statistics and all. I feel like a real difference is being made and it is not all about me it is about the dark cloud that i hovers over male sexual abuse, bringing some sunshine to the topic .

i spoke in front of my church last night and it was also powerful i have told my story before at church but it was always very scared and kind of shaky , not this time it was bold and strong and with out shame . it was straightforward and to the point. feeling very empowered.

i to have read a book called "shattered" and that book hit some key cords with me also . this whole feeling of control and really of an understanding of just how common this is has made the difference. from feeling so alone and isolated to being around so many that this has effected and reading all the post here and the stories here have helped turn my whole life around .

thank every one here and to all that continue to work this thing . there really is hope

i have had the same response even to my video i made people on my friends list of face book have even came forward people i had no clue about and even a family member disclosed some things to me .

i to feel like i am in overdrive and feel like so much good is going to come of this . it is like finally all the hard work is paying off . what a ride this has been .

_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#343603 - 10/29/10 10:44 PM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: nltsaved]
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Wow Nathan... After I wrote this, I got another very heart felt response from someone I don't even know. It brought me to tears. Such a beautiful statement. I truly believe Nov 5 is going to be a life changing moment for many in this world.

And I'm like - I'm ready to do whatever I can to help make a difference in this..

I loved your video.. One of these days, I'm going to do something as well. My book and Oprah was the first step..

So glad you're able to share it with more strength and confidence. Way to go.. and so enjoyed getting to meet you and your wife at the show. It is always great to know the "real person" behind the internet screen.

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#343634 - 10/30/10 09:34 AM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: MrDon]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
We're hoping to put an article in our metro newspaper in advance of the Oprah show too.

The question is: what is the most useful information to share?

My experience is this: hearing other men share what is was like being a survivor BEFORE getting help. Hearing and relating to the consequences, the struggles with intimacy, isolation, depression, anger and relationships-THAT is what I needed to hear when I was stumbling in the darkness.

Graphic details of my trauma (while important for my individual recovery) only separate me in a public forum. what I share with other survivors ismmost important.

So ask yourself-what do these people outside in the real world -where secrets are long buried and men struggle in silence alone and afraid-what truth about my story can I share that is helpful?

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#343871 - 11/01/10 08:14 PM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
A very close friend of mine who was at the show just called to inform me that he will be meeting with a reporter Wednesday from his local paper. He said they seemed eager to do this in conjunction with the airing of the upcoming shows. My hat is off to those that go public in their own home towns. One thing to do it on T.V., another to do it where your friends and neighbors are even more likely to see it!

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#343875 - 11/01/10 08:43 PM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: Tinman]
kevinkr Offline


Registered: 10/20/10
Posts: 25
here again is my first that broke in my hometown;

http://www.thenorthwestern.com/article/2...bout-abused-men

Tomorrow it breaks in Appleton WI, then I am holding off till after the elections.

To those that can't go public, it's ok, give me a hug when we meet!


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#343908 - 11/02/10 07:39 AM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: kevinkr]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 825
Loc: Ohio
Kevin,
More press is a good thing. Not to attack you but constructive criticism...it is perps we want exposed, not the victims. We want to get help for the victims. Otherwise it is good that people hear. In the 80s, psych texts defined abuse as what a man does to girls. We are moving in the right direction.



Edited by catfish86 (11/02/10 07:40 AM)
_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#343947 - 11/02/10 01:56 PM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: catfish86]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
congrats to all of you who participated - i just got the MS email about the show. :-) how times change ey? i still have the letter from oprah's producers in 1988 saying that they were not interested in discussing male sexual abuse.

i don't have tv but i guess the show will find its way online at some point (legally or not lol.)

_________________________
Jeff

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#343957 - 11/02/10 05:00 PM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: Mountainous Buck]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
YES!!!!!

It's just the greatest thing to hear of the guys here speaking out, giving interviews, talking to groups, ditching all the shame completely and for good.

It's like a little movement is starting of survivors speaking out about how this stuff has just GOT TO STOP.

Originally Posted By: Mountainous Buck

The question is: what is the most useful information to share?

....

So ask yourself-what do these people outside in the real world -where secrets are long buried and men struggle in silence alone and afraid-what truth about my story can I share that is helpful?


Well? Well??? What do you say???

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#344099 - 11/04/10 11:06 AM Re: People Opening Up After Oprah [Re: LandOfShadow]
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
I just got interviewed by the Orlando Sentinel this morning and the article is up on their site.

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/enterta...-survivors.html

I was so nervous because I've never done this before but glad i got the experience.

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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