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#343299 - 10/27/10 03:55 PM I AM NOT a "survivor"!!! **trig**
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
I don't like the term, the use of the word, the connotations attached to what it's supposed to mean, any of it when it's supposed to be applied to me personally.

It does not describe me or what I deal with. It does not detail what I've been through and often detracts the facts of my life to accommodate diluted understandings.

I don't like being spoken for.... "us, as survivors.... survivors tend to....", I don't like professionals claiming to know how someone "like" me experiences life and how everything is supposed to be fixed. Or having people tell me what I am supposedly feeling, battling, or physically going through.

I don't like when someone recognizes things only in part:
Quote:
Your perps "almost" killed you Kevin?
NO, my perps did kill me, a number of times!!! Is it my fault that they medically revived me, does that cancel it out???

Definition of kill-
To put to death.
To deprive of life
To put an end to; extinguish
To cause to cease operating

KILL.


How do I "come to terms" with being murdered? How about having those same perps bringing me back and have me longing for the peace of that sleep.

How have I survived when the war has not ended? Survivorship is deemed after the fact.


_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#343303 - 10/27/10 04:26 PM Re: I AM NOT a "survivor"!!! **trig** [Re: usmc97]
lostincny Offline


Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 19
Loc: Syracuse, NY
You know, I will be honest with you I agree with you in the sense that to me a survivor is someone who is saved from harm. Yes, I survived the abuse however my innocence and childhood was killed and taken away from me many years ago. Today as I am on my road to recovery I too question how I feel about this. I survived the abuse because I am alive but my mind and body still are going thru the abuse and pain via flashback both mental and physical. My life has changed, I am out of work on Disability, my wife has a hard time dealing with me reliving my past and my children miss their father. This is where I question on how the word is used. I know what it means to say survivor and in a way I am one however I don't feel I am quite fully there yet in my mind. Just as if someone had surgery to remove cancer they are not really considered a survivor until it is all removed and if it reoccurs they still do not refer to them as a survivor but more a patient. So am I truly an Abused Survivor or an Abused patient because my abuse has reoccurred?


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