I just wanted to say thank you for sharing some of your story for us and seeking help and community here. There aren't too many of us men who were abused as adults, but we do have a voice here and I want to encourage you to lean on us for the support you need.
I was sexually abused as an adult too, a little more than a year ago, and the support I've found here, both from men who were abused as adults and as children, has been helpful.
What happened to you was senseless, despicable, and 100% not your fault. There is no excuse for what those two men did to you. I hope that by talking to some of the guys here you'll realize that you are not alone.
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”
- Saint John of the Cross