I journal, though probably not as often as my T would like to see.

I have two modes of entry: (1) visible; and (2) invisible. For my visible entries, I use a regular black pen (fine tip so I can fit more on a page). My invisible entries consist of a UV-fluorescable ink that I write with under the aid of a handheld LED blacklight (375 nm wavelength). Nobody can see the ink on the page unless they shine a UV light source on it. Great for when I'm having moments that my PTSD has me thinking that my room about's to be invaded. It makes me feel really safe and like I have a say or an outlet in what happens to me during my memory. In a way, I guess I can try to rewrite some of the past.

Best,
Scotty

Hauser, I think the ritual of burning of our ties with the past can only be effective if we give meaning to them.
We can take the example of dipping in water during baptism, it means being born again, but it works only if we believe it to be true.

That way our belief is what creates the reality for us. If we continue to believe that it is an unsafe place we live in, it would be so for us, we would continue to feel unsafe and keep ourselves busy with planning various escape mechanisms and establushing new fighting techniques, till we exhaust ourselves, and learn to surrender. That for me has been my biggest freedom.

...so what if I choose to believe this moment on that , "Everything in my world works smoothly and that I am always at peace."

It is like instead of asking for healing everyday, we choose to thank for healing, knowing that it has happened.

Thanks for the replies, keep them coming. I started my journal in a hit or miss manner. It has helped, I am writing my way past my emotional nadir.

I don't know why, but getting the poison down on paper in front of me keeps it from eating at my insides as much.

I'm smoking less weed as well....

Very interesting indeed.

Tim,

Putting it down on paper is a way of focusing and gaining a perspective. It helps us to see that we really were only innocent defenseless kids, and seeing that empowers us now. We are better able to reject blame, refuse to believe the bad feelings we have about ourselves, and keep to the hard work of recovery.

I have been down that road, my friend, and while I feel that weed itself did me no harm, for broken and ravaged people I do think it tempts us on to more dangerous things. At least, that was my case.

Weed is just a temporary way to numb the pain. I see you play guitar. I learned to forget the drugs and take up the blues instead. What a difference!

Much love,
Larry

Guys,

I have been journaling throughout my 22 year recovery journey and just recently, last October, started blogging as an alternative. I have found this to be terribly engaging.

Blogger is a great place to start.

http://www.blogger.com/start

Ron

J, thanks so much for the link. Nothing interests me more than the inner life of my fellow survivors. What a joy to share your story in an ongoing basis. I have bookmarked your blog for daily reading. :-)
Thanks,

Ron

I have journaled for years also. Infact now it is a hobby I think. When I find myself NOT journaling I tend to see that I am not facing something in my life. To make it fun my wife and I both started adding stickers to our pages. Its a quick and cheap way to add something to your journaling if you want to make the message stronger.....just a thought.

Tobey

I not actually journaled for say, but maybe it is. When I just need to get a way, I work on what I call my book. I love murder myster type books, as such I loved to one actually write a series about a guy that who is faced the murders of people who he knows, but his not sure how he knows these people. I have the idea of how what it to all work out, but I'm not sure if I can carry it through as a series as I want to. As I said, it's a way of getting a way. It somethink special for just me to read at this point.