I ,too went out to Chicago on the Oprah Winfrey show and i am STILL numb to all i went through , i am not sure if its normal or if its a process that we all are on our own path , i was so overwhelmed, it's taken me weeks to finally share with MS about how the experience was, i cried the entire taping, i was torn inside i doubted myself as to if i even belonged there, all the men who were there had their stories of pain , i had my own , yet a small part of me felt as though my story was not painful enough , this kept running through my head over and over , i know being on the show was a blessing for me yet why did i feel this way,when the men held up their pictures of themselves i couldnt because my picture didnt develop,i was so disapointed , anyway i guess it was meant to be for me to be on the show but i will not forget how little a felt when i felt as though my pain didnt measure up to others, almost as though i didnt hurt enough and everyone elses was worse then my own.However i did walk away from the show thinking that i matter and no one can take that away from me.

I was there too and remember feeling like my abuse wasn't as bad as the men interviewed. Then I started feeling inadequate because I didn't get a chance to speak from the audience and that I had chosen a poor place to sit. I think that the experience brought everything so close to the surface, that all my feelings were so raw that all my insecurities took over. But, on the plane, on the way home I realized I was a different person. Recognizing that we all shared so much despite being from such different backgrounds gave me a great sense of self-worth, that my place in the world is just as important as anyone else's. I felt as though I had been out of focus all my life and suddenly someone turned the lens and I was clear and solid.It took me a week or more to incorporate it into my view of who I am but I've done it and I'm glad. Ron.

Ron - I know that all the crap we went through as kids will always effect us , i guess it's a choice as to how much of it i will chose to let it effect me, its a lot easier said then done , living in my skin at times is torture because i hate knowing i was abused yet other times i have no problems with it because its who i am and i cant change that, however it all depends on my mood, boy can life throw you a curve ball at times huh ? Sometimes i still think about the excitement i felt when i was the little boy just wanting to hang out with my little brother and then he'd tell me he wanted nothing to do with me, i was so devastated, thats what i felt like when i couldn't hold up my picture at the Oprah show i didnt feel a part of...it is what it is i guess....Rich

Fair enough if that was the way it was before, for the farewell season you get between 1-3 weeks to watch a full episode depending on what it's about and this one is up there on Oprah.com for the moment, and not likely to be removed before Part 2 finishes airing.

But yes after three weeks to a month it's clips and tran>