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#343107 - 10/25/10 11:51 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Steve Augustine]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Yes, I'm repeating myself. I just posted this in another thread, but I feel it's really important to speak up...

"First, allow me to say that I hear you. And I want to tell you that I think that there is no difference in the pain that you and I struggle with regardless of the fact that I was abused as a child, and you an adult, [or that I was abused once and someone else serially, or that my perp was a man, or not a family member.]

There is no hierarchy of abuse. Those of us who have had our trust violated in any way bear scars that are instantly recognizable to one anther. I would like to think that if my being on the Oprah show brings light on the topic of male victims of abuse, that both of us can benefit from that.

I hope that you will not (and, indeed, it seems like you are not) allowing your disappointment or frustration to turn into rancor and bitterness. Please know that in standing up for survivors, I truly feel that I represented you, Obi, and all of those who were not in that studio, but deserved to be. If any of us want to be heard, or feel frustrated or slighted over any injustice, I hope that we can turn that anger into positive action. And that means more than contacting producers who, in my opinion went above and beyond to treat all survivors with respect. It means using this show, this time, this moment to speak up just a little louder and maybe ask for help or for more resources in their community. The people to bring your frustrations to are not in Oprah's office, they are in your communities. And many of them are willing to listen."

I also wanted to chime in and say that I have heard the same information that Walking South heard that the Oprah staff will give MS space on their resources page after the Nov. 5th airing. (Hopefully before, but we'll see).




Edited by tartugas (10/25/10 11:52 PM)
_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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#343217 - 10/26/10 11:54 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Tinman]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
You said this is what was posted on Oprah's website:

"Tune in on November 5, 2010, when Tyler returns to help 200 abused men"

when it actually says this:

"Tune in on November 5, 2010, when Tyler and 200 abused men are standing together with one voice." (Copied and pasted verbatim).

Forgive me but I see a distinct difference between the two statements. The actual wording says nothing about him coming on the show to help other survivors in some form of professional capacity. Far from it. Instead, he wishes to stand with other male survivors “with one voice”. What’s wrong with this? Isn’t that what we do here together at MS on a daily basis? JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#343223 - 10/27/10 02:04 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: jls]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
It was changed AFTER this thread was started.

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#343261 - 10/27/10 10:49 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Tinman]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1372
Loc: kansas
jls,

as tinman pointed out, it was changed after this thread started because of all the brave men who emailed/called the producers to get it changed...

the producers agreed and quickly changed it. positive step for all of us.

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#343434 - 10/28/10 05:14 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Obi]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I'm glad to hear that.

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#343438 - 10/28/10 05:40 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: jls]
kevinkr Offline


Registered: 10/20/10
Posts: 25
"We will either find a way, or make one."

I LOVE that quote !!!

Kev


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#343689 - 10/30/10 05:31 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: kevinkr]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
It is good isn't it? I really resonate with it, given some what should have been insurmountable obstacles in my life that I have been able to get around or otherwise overcome. The quote comes from Hannible. (No, not the guy from the A-Team haha.) Rather, he was a general from ancient Carthage (now known as Tunisia in North Africa I believe) who despite all odds, beat the Roman army on the battlefield on numerous occasions due to his brilliant and unconventional military tactics and strategies. Here's a link about Hannible if your interested. JS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannibal

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#348181 - 12/15/10 04:45 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Tinman]
goodbyehorses Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/10/10
Posts: 26
Loc: Northern California
I watched the show. I personally felt the strength you guys portrayed by going on TV to tell your story. A friend who knows my struggles suggested I watch that episode. It was very empowering. That is how I learned of this website, and have started to disclose my story.

I did notice Tyler Perry as the focus in some segments of the show, during when the twin brothers were telling their story. In the middle of the discussion Oprah asked Tyler his opinion on it, which I could see right through as a ploy to use his "big name". That did not stop me from getting the value out of the episode, nor appreciating what you all did for survivors everywhere. I applaud everyone for their strength, including Tyler, for using their experience to benefit others. Thank you all


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#348199 - 12/15/10 10:31 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: goodbyehorses]
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
I actually struggle to watch the show now. I did watch it when it aired but it is so intense and for me, it is much more than just a show. It was the experience of being there. I'm glad the strength showed through because I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was so nervous and scared. I could not eat that day.

During the taping of the show Tyler actually talked a lot more than was actually aired. Even though I didn't know who he was, I found him to be very helpful (in the actual taping). Of course editing did not show a lot of that.

All in all, I do agree with you on the value of the program. It is changing a lot of lives for many people out there (including those of us who attended). My life has changed in many ways as a result of that show.

Don

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In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

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http://www.donshetterly.com

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#348247 - 12/15/10 10:09 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: goodbyehorses]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
I means a lot to me that you are here after watching the show, Thanks. goodbyehorses

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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