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#342766 - 10/22/10 12:46 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: youthfulheart62]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1401
Loc: kansas
they did ignore some of us...

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#342767 - 10/22/10 12:51 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Obi]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1401
Loc: kansas
so how about it guys?

are you going to stick up for us that were rejected by their producers? ignored by their producers? and email them to let them know that we deserve to be at least acknowledged for attempting to be willing to put our stories out there too?

or are you guys going to reject us too and only help those who got to go?

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#342769 - 10/22/10 01:22 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Obi]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Obi, I'm going to be real straight with you. Don't do this to yourself. You're making this all about you being a victim again. There's ample evidence that isn't what's going on.

I understand your feelings of victimization and I of course share with you part of how you come by them. But the people who haven't responded to you or contacted you are just super busy, doing the best they can and under pressure to meet hard deadlines. The show must go on. This is a much bigger show than they usually deal with.

They, and I, aren't rejecting you. You are really choosing to see it that way, and making yourself feel bad as a result. Don't do that to yourself.

I've spent all morning on a dozen e-mails about this show, you know? I have to accomplish other things. I hope you can hear this and not feel more rejection.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#342772 - 10/22/10 01:58 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: LandOfShadow]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1401
Loc: kansas
land,

if i went to the show and saw another user, like myself posting the issues i have, you better believe i would've wrote an email to the producers to help out my fellow survivors that didn't get any acknowledgement whatsoever...

the time you took to reply to my post you could've helped us by writing the producers instead to let them know that they could've sent out a bulk form email to let us know they've acknowledged us.

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#342773 - 10/22/10 02:11 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: LandOfShadow]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Hi all,

I felt it important to chime in. First off, thank you Curtis for stepping in and getting a response from the show staff.

I can say without equivocation that everything I experienced in Chicago and since then leads me to believe and fully trust in the sincerity and compassion of everyone affiliated with the show. This was a show that did not have to happen, but it was because of the extraordinary efforts of dozens of people from Oprah on down to every member of the support crew that it did. For that reason alone, Oprah and her entire staff are due our thanks.

It is always easy to look back and find things to do differently the next time. So long as we approach these issues with an earnest desire to continue to make things better we are building community, and that is important. When we allow bitterness, mistrust, and anger to creep in and undermine the good-faith efforts of people who have only intended to honor and respect us, we can unintentionally drive people away that we need in order to continue working to being hope and healing to all of the men who need it.

I sincerely hear and honor the fears and anger that my brothers have spoken of here. But I also feel it is important to repeat that, at least for me, there was not one single person I met in Chicago who was anything other than polite, compassionate, and sincerely dedicated to making this show a powerful tribute to our stories as well as a launching point for getting out the truth that we CAN heal.

Chris





Edited by tartugas (10/22/10 02:32 PM)
_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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#342775 - 10/22/10 02:32 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Obi]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Originally Posted By: Obi
the time you took to reply to my post you could've helped us by writing the producers instead to let them know that they could've sent out a bulk form email to let us know they've acknowledged us.


Certainly. But Obi my friend, you can (learn to) do that for yourself much of the time, and then, you carry that with you everywhere. That is SO much more valuable. That would help you forever. Not just this one time. And that's what I want for you.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#342776 - 10/22/10 02:57 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: LandOfShadow]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 734
Loc: NJ
The wonders of Oprah....Lets be honest here...while the word will get out because of it...Its television and they do it for a reason.

While you were sending all those emails instead of working could you not have added a quick not to the producers about some of the men here who felt they werent heard?

And while they were all lovely people who genuinly had all of you 200 in mind and blah blah blah in Chicago...what about 2 of our brothers here that are hurting because those wonderful heartfelt producers didnt have time to send a bulk email out to poele and say thanks for offering your story but we have everything we need?

SO before you are so quick to tell Todd (whether I agree or not) the life lesson your trying to give him..comsider who will be here everyday Todd..USMC97 or some producer.

WHile I certainly dont get along with everybody I try to be respectfull of the poeple who are part of our community here...on a daily basis.

So thanks Oprah!

_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#342778 - 10/22/10 03:04 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: LandOfShadow]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3391
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Obi,

I just wanted to say that you are certainly "heard"

I myself was one of the ones who had to fight to be on the show (it took multiple contacts through numerous sites and persons to get there - and even then I had to drive myself there or they would not have been able to have me come)

Please don't dump this huge bucket of rejection on yourself - you totaly don't deserve it

I can't speak for the Oprah show - I won't even try to - I can only speak of my own experience and how I saw things - what i saw - what I understand - is that with 10,000+ applications they where indeed totaly overwhelmed - they really did'nt know that so many would speak out (they seriosly did'nt even know if they could get 200 going into this) - many many guys fell through the cracks - they just could'nt handle 10,000+ - it's not an excuse - it's just facts - sure I think that they owe every single one of the persons who was not there an email - but sadly I also understand that it won't happen - their crew is busy with the next show - and the next one after that - just know that it was nothing personal - it really was'nt

I wish all 10,000+ of us could have been there - that would have been the ultimate statement of strength - and... perhaps... in the future... that exact statement will be made - this show is not the end - this is not an issue that will be pushed into the darkness anymore - this is the start of something that will bring more help for all that have been abused

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#342779 - 10/22/10 03:18 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: TJ jeff]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1401
Loc: kansas
tj,

i appreciate it.. and i understand...

i agree that this is a good thing.. i agree that they are busy and so on...

i also agree that the way they originally posted the promos was not good and i'm glad that you guys were able to change it...

what i don't agree with is that you guys got all upset, SENT EMAILS voicing your displeasure about it, they heard you guys immediately and acted on it immediately but you guys won't extend the same courtesy to those of us they aren't even acknowledging.

they obviously listened to you guys and your emails.. so, how about taking two seconds of your time and email them about the rest of us that they aren't listening to?

i would write yet ANOTHER, and i have written several already, emails if i knew i would be heard. however, i'm not getting any replies at all. apparently you guys are.. that's why i'm practically begging you guys to write to the producers for the nearly 10,000 of us that didn't get heard at all...

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#342780 - 10/22/10 03:20 PM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: TJ jeff]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I have remained pretty silent about this line of questioning why we aren't contacting the producers on behalf of those not selected because I have realized that no answer I give will satisfy someone who is falling into the victim trap repeatedly over this.

TJ Jeff's fourth paragraph is probably the best explanation you will get and one I could not have written as well.

But I am really beginning to resent one thing here: Quit trying to lay a guilt trip on me by acting like I don't care because I won't harangue the producer about how they handled those not selected. I care about each and every one of you. I just don't agree that we should contact the show about it. You are free to do so yourself. Here is a link: https://www.oprah.com/ownshow/plug_form.html?plug_id=220

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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