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#342704 - 10/22/10 12:43 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Silly]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6845
Loc: USA
Guys,

Listen!

I watched the Tyler Perry portion. It was so positive and so helpful! He's a resource to us and not a stumbling block. He went through stuff like we all did. He understands us and can be a spokesman. That is COOL. It is not a negative. He will not put us down or make us look bad. He will undoubtedly be a positive influence.

Please don't take it as a negative.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#342707 - 10/22/10 01:04 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: pufferfish]
cpt. confusion Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/04
Posts: 159
Loc: midwest
I think I have to agree with Allen- maybe had I attended, I might feel different, as I don't know what Tyler actually added to the discussion- BUT - remember, the people at the Oprah show are selling an audience. It is their job to promote the show for ratings- which in this case is a positive thing because it is spreading a very important message.

consider the fact that Tyler is helping simply because he has provided a platform. The general public doesnt care about the average Joe. People are obsessed with celebrity, and so Tyler has helped by providing a platform for a larger audience to these 200 men in the audience- and to those men in the audience who may further the platform by speaking out about their own struggles. If this topic was covered on Maury, or Montell, or any of the other terrible talk shows out there it would just be a single show that goes unheard- doing it this way creates an event around this topic. Makes it impossible to go unheard.

THose at the Oprah show are experts in mass communication. They know that in order for a message to really resound, it has to follow a strategic path, and I applaud the way this is being handled. The fact that shes done 2 shows in one week already on male sexual abuse is unheard of, and to leverage the attention those shows have already received to catapult the message that will be delivered on November 5 is simply good marketing.

I know Tyler did not directly help any one of you in the audience, and he is no expert on the healing of any of us. He is helping by speaking out though, and leading the charge to let people know that its ok to talk about it... just my 2 cents, hope it provides another perspective.

-cpt.

_________________________
"Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use."
-Carlos Castaneda

*WoR Alum
Sequoia I-March '11
Alta II, September '11

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#342709 - 10/22/10 01:22 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: cpt. confusion]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
I absolutely agree Tyler's interview was very well done. I loved a lot of what and how he said it. But that's not my point. If he's no expert on healing, why suggest he "helped us"?

It undermines the whole premise this issue is worthy of so much focus.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#342710 - 10/22/10 02:18 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: LandOfShadow]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
I sent a note to my producers at 11pm and got this reply at 2am:
Quote:
I've not seen the promotion on oprah.com until you just sent the link. Your point is valid and very appreciated. The last thing we want to do is paint the show with an incorrect de>

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#342714 - 10/22/10 03:24 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Silly]
john38 Offline


Registered: 10/21/10
Posts: 90
Loc: Pasadena CA
I'm with all of you. I was at the show too, and my new friend and I had quite a conversation about how we wished that there had been more time made for "solution" talk from those of us who were in attendance. While I like Tyler Perry and admire his courage in speaking out, he's still quite new to recovery. He appears to be in his "rosy glasses" phase (the point where it feels great cuz you finally dropped some of the shame load and allowed some comforting support to come in). For me, the same occurred when I visited my first support group meeting 16 years ago. That visit in turn made it safe or laid the groundwork for more memories and feelings to emerge, and it's taken me almost 16 years to get to the point where I don't run from any of the feelings any more and give constant, unconditional support to my inner kid. I think I'll drop a line to the producers too. Participating in the show was an honor and I recognize they didn't have the time to really look at everything recovery requires of a person. I believe the show will make it safer for other survivors to seek help. But, yah, "Tyler helps others"--give me a break. He still thinks his body betrayed him--it was his father and mother that betrayed and abandoned him.

John+

_________________________
Just for today I will treat myself with respect, compassion and acceptance.

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#342720 - 10/22/10 07:52 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: john38]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I waited until this morning to write the show. Because had I done so with the anger and betrayal I felt yesterday, it would certainly not have been helpful.

I have requested that the quote be changed to reflect what REALLY happened. That we came there, not for help, but to publicize this issue to a wide audience. So that I could, in my small way, reach out and help another man out there who lives in the fear and shame. I did not go there for help.

I have requested an response and will post it here if I get one.

I have one thing to say to all of us who appeared. Whatever they do, remember that we went there as men of courage and determination to break the silence publically. We didn't go there for help, we went to help break the public silence. You all should be proud of your courage and intent. No one can take that from us!

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#342723 - 10/22/10 09:26 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I have received the following response:

"You are absolutely right and I thank you for not only bringing this to our attention, but for expressing your concern so passionately. Fact is, you are not the only one who feels this way and we are working hard to change it right away. Oprah and Tyler agree that the language doesn't accurately reflect what really happened and the true spirit and intention of the historic event. Changes are happening as we speak."

Good. Now let's see how it changes.

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#342725 - 10/22/10 09:28 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Tinman]
Donald D'Haene Offline
Member

Registered: 04/11/04
Posts: 68
Loc: London
Now how awesome and respectful is that! Thanks for letting us know!

_________________________
Donald D'Haene
http://www.fatherstouch.com

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#342730 - 10/22/10 10:05 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Donald D'Haene]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
And this is what I got:

Quote:
Your voices have been heard loud and clear (several guys contacted me). This oversight is being corrected first thing this morning -- as soon as the web staff arrives. Sincere apologies and sincere thanks for bringing that to our attention.

And you can be sure the rest of the content will be scrutinized by yhe team.



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#342732 - 10/22/10 10:06 AM Re: You went to Oprah? Read this!!!! [Re: Curtis St. John]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
And this is what the website says now:

Quote:
Tune in on November 5, 2010, when Tyler and 200 abused men are standing together with one voice.



Although I guess it should read "...and 200 men stand together with one voice. But I'm not gonna push that one. sigh.


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