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#342584 - 10/20/10 09:34 PM Oprah rejects
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
Just a post for all of us rejects that didn't even rate somekind of reply. I didn't expect an invite because of my circumstances but I made an effort to be open to what might happen. I don't believe anyone can speak to what my life and experience consist of and foresee just another generalized "idea" of what makes up a "survivor".

I hope the guys who got to go don't try speaking for all, it really makes my life harder having to deal with people and what they believe someone "like me" is suppose to be.

It would've been just common courtesy to at the very least give a response even if it were a mass email.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#342683 - 10/21/10 08:42 PM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: usmc97]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
Removing post as issue mentioned has been resoloved


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#342691 - 10/21/10 10:45 PM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Tinman]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
USMC,

I am sad because of what I see in your post. You feel like you were given no consideration. To hell with them. We are here for you!

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#342703 - 10/22/10 12:42 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Tinman]
cpt. confusion Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/04
Posts: 159
Loc: midwest
USMC- you weren't the only "reject" from this show- I actually live in the Chicago area (so no travel expenses), and I wrote in after they had posted a calling on the Oprah website. I heard nothing back. I waited about a week, and wrote in again when I noticed the posting was still there, and still no response. through a friend, I actually got a number to one of the producers, and called, left a message, and still got no response. Finally this past monday (2 days before taping), I called and left another message and received a return call letting me know they were completely booked. If I wasnt so persistent, I wouldnt have heard anything either.

I agree they should have given some kind of notice, some kind of reply to acknowledge... but I have also realized that they are television people, not counselors. Their top priority is putting on this TV Show- and not worrying about the effect they might have in leaving us waiting and hoping for a call...

I thought about it more, and they werent organizing a retreat weekend, or promising counseling sessions, and probably most important for me to realize is that it was not a contest. I'm sure they had an agenda to abide by, and probably some type of profile or commonality they were looking for in choosing the participants.

Perhaps I didnt fit the mold- good. I don't fit any mold, nor do I want to.

At the end of the day, I am still glad that this show was filmed, and I look forward to what I hope will be a positive effect on so many of the survivors that are still out there silent in their struggles.

-cpt.

_________________________
"Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use."
-Carlos Castaneda

*WoR Alum
Sequoia I-March '11
Alta II, September '11

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#342727 - 10/22/10 09:48 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: cpt. confusion]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1288
Loc: kansas
yeah... i'm a reject too...

no hi, bye, kiss our butt, nothing....

would've been nice to send out a "bulk email" to let those that weren't selected know that they had the slots filled..



Edited by Obi (10/22/10 09:48 AM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#342731 - 10/22/10 10:06 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Obi]
blaidd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 240
Loc: Australia
You guys are so brave for even considering the thought of wanting to tell your stories in public. I just couldn't do it. No way.

Sounds a tad remiss, not to provide the courtesy of a reply as a way of explanation. Maybe they were so inundated with applications they did not have the resources to reply given time restraints and personnel etc. Who knows. I understand that it was disappointing for those who missed out and did not get a reply of any de>

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#342733 - 10/22/10 10:13 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Obi]
Wardpoet Offline


Registered: 10/22/10
Posts: 43
Loc: Maryland
I was not a reject. I don't see how I deserved to go. My contact with them was a reply to a show last march. I did not think I would be selected couln't deal with rejection so refused to have any hope.It will be a very good show I did not speak there were many who seemed to have the need to do so and everyone could not be able to due to time constraints. I wondered if I would even get a reject note. There were no correct responses our stories are different with some similarities. I am humbled that they would even do this show. Out of tens of thousands who applied 200 were selected I cannot give any info untill the 28th.



Edited by Wardpoet (10/22/10 10:19 AM)
Edit Reason: add info

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#342742 - 10/22/10 10:46 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Wardpoet]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
I hear the disappointment in you all. I thought about this myself and then last night I thought well hey....why not just get together as a group for the weekend.

I did NOT apply myself but, I can understand disappointments.

Donnie

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#342909 - 10/23/10 09:56 PM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Avery46]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
I did not necessarily want to share my "experience", I was pretty sure I would not be able to even do the traveling since I would've needed a friend to go along. I might not have been able to handle just sitting in the audience.... the thing is that I asked for consideration by giving the basics of what I live with and what I've been through.

I even gave my docs info knowing that what I told them might be too much and that they would need to verify what I said.

No. I just about guarantee that there was not a representation of what has happened in my life or what I deal with on a daily basis.

Virtually every resource for males with abuse backgrounds, including here at MS, have failed to include someone like me. It becomes a burden to try and teach different when everything is focused on having a person categorized before they even speak.

I cannot include myself to much of what others in the "survivor" community express or of what makes a "survivor". Just that name does not carry any de>
_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#342931 - 10/24/10 10:40 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: usmc97]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 725
Loc: United States
I know that feeling silenced, rejected and ignored can be very strong triggers for survivors. That's why I'm curious why anyone who is sensitive to any of those things would have even considered engaging on this Oprah show.

I believe that I decide how much things like this can hurt me. I wonder why my brothers have given this situation so much power over them.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#343479 - 10/29/10 12:55 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
Better as an answer in my own post:

I just felt about the whole thing as I have about the Weekends of Retreat, my inpatient stays, programs, therapies, health worker protocols, etc..... they are centered upon helping the "fixable", those with resources, community, physiological and psychological responsiveness. It is were the focus blinds the reality that there is more than what they comprehend.

Yes guys will watch to find that "others" really are out there but it will still be the "many will enter, some may win" kind of thing that has been attached to all of the current studies surrounding the subject.

I don't fall under most of the assumptions and commonalities attributed to "survivors". I have had over 10 years of having to deal with misinformed "educated professionals" who have tried to make me into someone described in a textbook or a past patient of theirs, or some other "case" they heard of, or one of you who directly relate to everything "common" to "survivors".

My problem with it was that someone couldn't speak for me and the kinds of things I deal with, which continues the false spectrum of what is recognized and taught upon. This will reinforce the beliefs of those who think they know it all and start the bias in those who stumble upon watching it. It makes my life harder to be the odd one out.

I didn't want anything to do with being on camera but would have liked a part in trying to include guys like me by possibly being present to pass even a note to prove that someone like me exists. For selfish reasons it would have been to find that I'm not alone in what my experience is as opposed to what the majority is believed to be. I cannot transform myself into being part of that majority. I have found friends who have experienced abuse in horrible ways. I have not found my "others" who are specific to things known to me.(I hope that makes somekind of sense, hopefully guys who know me get what I tried to express without thinking they aren't important to me or something bad)

Why couldn't it be possible to address things in a different way rather than revisiting the same stuff just on a bigger stage? What if there is something key to hearing another approach? You can't tell me that "RECOVERY" was not featured as part of the show or that survivorship was not attached to each who attended. Yes that is empowering to a lot of you. Great! No guilt directed for what you gained. On the opposite side, don't resent the guys left behind scrounging for a morsel of hope.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#343495 - 10/29/10 07:40 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: usmc97]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
I'm not fixable either-but I am making progress in my life today.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#343505 - 10/29/10 09:38 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I am a reject too I am calling Ellen

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#343525 - 10/29/10 11:55 AM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: michael Joseph]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Originally Posted By: michael Joseph
I am a reject too I am calling Ellen

We need a "like button" around here!

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#343548 - 10/29/10 02:06 PM Re: Oprah rejects [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6367
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Hell, I sent them links to my blog and wrote to them extensively how child-on-child CSA is rarely recognised. Got one call and was left in the dark from there.

I just hope the myths are shot-down.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

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