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#342712 - 10/22/10 02:37 AM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: pufferfish]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1794
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
on the way home, I was sitting at my gate in O'Hare and one of us came and sat down and said, "Oh cool! We're on the same flight." and we board the plane... he's sitting right behind me. While the guy in front of me is on his cell phone all, "blah, blah, blah, and Oprah decided there had to be two shows, so we were all on the buses at 5:30..."

He hangs up and I say, "The codeword of the day is Oprah." and he whips around and says, "oh,hey!"

That was pretty cool.


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#342715 - 10/22/10 03:54 AM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: Curtis St. John]
john38 Offline


Registered: 10/21/10
Posts: 90
Loc: Pasadena CA
Small world syndrome strikes again!

A new friend I met at the show ended up being on the same flight I was out of Midway Airport. We were gabbing up a storm about the experience and survivor issues in general. Suddenly it occurred to me--wow--we're talking in public about our sexual abuse isses. Other people are definitely hearing us and we're both neither breaking sweats or getting uptight about the fact that others are listening in. Guess doing survivor process work pays off--there wasn't one shame twinge.

Hopefully the show will help others to start speaking up more freely too!

John+

_________________________
Just for today I will treat myself with respect, compassion and acceptance.

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#342717 - 10/22/10 07:27 AM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: john38]
Donald D'Haene Offline
Member

Registered: 04/11/04
Posts: 68
Loc: London
This experience has been amazing...but imagine what it will be for all those boys and men who watch it; families who don't understand the first thing about what sexual abuse means.
It is a historic episode. It runs during sweeps week. It will be heavily promoted.
Personally I met so many wonderful men - I wish I could have personally talked to you all!
hugs from Canada
Donald

_________________________
Donald D'Haene
http://www.fatherstouch.com

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#342899 - 10/23/10 07:14 PM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6708
Loc: USA
We need so badly to change the concept of male abuse in our culture. Male child abuse is wrongly thought of by the media, the legal profession, just about everybody.

We need to change that. This show may be the biggest step toward changing in a positive direction. Let's hope so.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#342920 - 10/24/10 12:41 AM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: pufferfish]
Donald D'Haene Offline
Member

Registered: 04/11/04
Posts: 68
Loc: London
Hey guys....ever visit Oprah's Message Boards (see link below)..under First TV Interview - Tyler Perry Speaks Out About Being Molested check out #100 ....just goes to show you the power of disclosure and what the two special shows will mean to so many out there!

http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/146200?start=90&tstart=0

_________________________
Donald D'Haene
http://www.fatherstouch.com

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#342942 - 10/24/10 01:27 PM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: Donald D'Haene]
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
I joined up with a community choir and we are rehearsing for a christmas program. So Saturday afternoon I go to rehearsal and I have decided that I'm going to give it a rest and say nothing at all about Oprah or CSA because that is all I've been doing for the last 3 days.

Anyway, after the rehearsal, several of us are standing around flapping our lips and this one lady I've never met before says that next time she goes to Starbucks she is going to buy a particular coffee mug. Now you have to understand that I live in smallville and the nearest Starbucks is over 100 miles away. So from there the conversation turned to when and where we were the last time we had gone to Starbucks and I mentioned that I was at O'Hare in Chicago on Wednesday. So this lady asks me why I was in Chicago.

And there I am talking to a group of people about my history of CSA and my resolve to speak out. One person said that they had watched the show with Tyler Perry and at the end of the show Oprah had said that there was going to be a show where there was going to be several hundred men in the studio audience and they wanted to know if I was part of that group and I confirmed that I was.

For a long time I thought that society didn't care about CSA issues but I am starting to see that they really do. They just feel helpless and have no idea what to do. This group of people I was talking to were eager to learn more and truly wanted to know how they can protect there kids and grandkids.



Edited by Derdlecar (10/24/10 01:30 PM)
Edit Reason: typo
_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#343154 - 10/26/10 12:52 PM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: Derdlecar]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6708
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Derdlecar

For a long time I thought that society didn't care about CSA issues but I am starting to see that they really do. They just feel helpless and have no idea what to do. This group of people I was talking to were eager to learn more and truly wanted to know how they can protect there kids and grandkids.


I wish you would say more about this.

Maybe you could even start a new thread on how to talk about CSA issues with people.

Help answer the questions of what do you say first. What kinds of words do you use? How do you build a subject? Etc. Apparently you are able to get across with this and we could all profit from your approach.

Allen

pufferfish


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#343156 - 10/26/10 01:30 PM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: pufferfish]
yankee07 Offline


Registered: 04/08/10
Posts: 5
Loc: fairfield county,ct
I have been getting the same response for the last month or two when disclosing to total strangers.Getting my pictured enlarged for Oprah, took it to a local co. to enhance it. They asked and I disclosed. I was there half an hour and they did the work for free. Getting a haircut for show, she asked , I disclosed, leaned down and kissed me, told me I was the bravest man she had ever met and disclosed her father molested her sister. I have had 18 men pull me aside in the last five weeks since I disclosed at my regular A.A. meeting that I attend. A half dozen other powerful examples have arisen also. Six months ago my therapist stated she did not think this type of reaction would be possible. Could it be the fear or the unknown or our own insecurities have kept us all paralyzed????"No shame,we gain"


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#343157 - 10/26/10 01:39 PM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: Curtis St. John]
yankee07 Offline


Registered: 04/08/10
Posts: 5
Loc: fairfield county,ct
Curtis, It is a small would. I was very surprised when you said that , thanks, for it gave me a chance to get to know you and your wife. My sister was in Chicago for busines at the same time and had a flight an hour afer me. She ended up sitting next to One of the people on the show and talked the whole flight home. He called me the next day, what a COINCIDENT. She has been very supportive with me. They biggest regret in not being able to network and get to know a lot of you personaly.


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#343158 - 10/26/10 01:41 PM Re: OPRAH SHOW [Re: yankee07]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I too have found an amazing response. During the two hour wait for my flight to Chicago, I struck up a number of conversations with people. When they asked me why I was going to Chicago, I told them. Straight out. With the exception of one person, those I spoke with said this was something important that they never really thought about. EVERYBODY was speechless when I told them an estimated one in six males is abused. Told them there was a high likelihood that several men on the plane had had this happen to them. All promised to record or watch the show and spread the word.

We are the best ambassadors of our story. I don't broadcast it, but I never shy away from talking about it when appropriate.

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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