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#341489 - 10/05/10 05:35 PM Mommy Dearest
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6805
Loc: USA
Saturday night I watched the scandalous film: Mommy Dearest. It is the story of actress Joan Crawford, as taken from a book written by her daughter. It is the story of a very narcissistic mother and how she related to her child.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082766/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

Because of Joan Crawford's narcissistic personality disorder, she was unable to be a nurturing mother. Instead she would show white-hot anger if the children failed to admire her or do what she said. This is dynamite to the child. The children were "possessions" like little statues on the mantle.

The film brought out tremendous emotions in me as I watched the interaction between the mother and the daughter, and the little boy. The daughter's name is Christine. Christine has written a book about Joan Crawford with the same name as the movie: Mommie Dearest. Because I also had an older sister, I saw myself as the boy in the film. This is called "projection" I projected myself into the film very powerfully. The time setting of the children in the film is very close to my own. The color of her car was identical to the color of our family Buick.

We didn't live in a lavish palace as Joan Crawford did, but we lived in middle-class homes. With one exception. During the war there was a great fear that the Japanese might invade California. Therefore real estate on the coast was cheaper so my parents were able to live on an island which today is populated by illustrious movie stars. Even at that time there were bunches of movie stars living there. I'm told that John Wayne lived a few blocks away. The actress Billie Dove lived down the street with her husband, Robert Kenaston. They had a son called Bobby a few years older than I was. I ran around with Bobby and another boy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_acGG_GpSWU

http://www.goldensilents.com/stars/billiedove.html

I was almost 4 years old. My Mother sent my sister and me down the street to borrow a cup of sugar from Billie Dove. I think she wanted to impress Billie with her two children. This is how narcissists think. They are always calculating; trying to figure out how to maneuver or impress somebody. That was the incident that resulted in abuse I describe in Pufferfish story part 1.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...2889#Post212889

Joan Crawford as portrayed in the movie reminded me of my own mother. They were both extreme narcissists. A narcissist is someone who is very preoccupied with their own appearance and their own importance. Needless to say, they don't make good parents. A heavily narcissistic mother will compel her children to admire her. She will have little sensitivity to their needs. If the children fail to admire her sufficiently, she will perceive it as "evil" or bad. She will punish that behavior heavily. This was very well brought out in the film.

So here I am. The son of a very narcissistic mother. But she was more than that. I'm pretty sure now that she also had DID (previously known as MPD). So only one of her personalities (or alters) was narcissistic. I think she had other alters such as depressive/abused, paranoid, and perfectionistic.

Mother resembled Joan Crawford somewhat. Mother may have been copying the star's hair and makeup styles because it was all terribly familiar to me. One scene in the movie shows Crawford wearing a grotesque paste at night. They did that to reduce facial wrinkles. It is kind of funny because it looks like a Halloween mask. I remember my mother doing that. Mother also had some little paper strips like tan postage stamps that she glued onto her face at home to get rid of wrinkles.

Is all of this hard to believe? I'm going to try to write more about it. I'll put it in the Mother Abuse Forum.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#342275 - 10/16/10 06:47 PM Re: Mommy Dearest [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6805
Loc: USA
Sorry for replying to my own post. smirk

There are good examples of narcissists in the TV shows.

By the way, a narcissist is someone who loves themself. They usually make themself look good because they love their own appearance.

In contrast, a sociopath doesn't think they have to look that good. They don't think they need to.

OK So here are some examples of narcissistic women on the tube:

In the show: Everybody Loves Raymond, the mother (Marie, or Raymond's mother) is pretty narcissistic. She never really understands Raymond or the other son (Robert), or her husband or anybody else. All her comments really redirect attention to herself and to make herself look good. Imagine! Some people really do have mothers like that.

The other one who stands out in my mind now is the mother (Evelyn) of Alan and Charlie Harper in the show Two and a Half Men. She is very narcissistic. She really never cares about anybody but herself. She can be very cruel in her conversational ploys. She makes herself look good. She is promiscuous. She was a bad mother. She was not nurturing.

Allen

pufferfish whistle





Edited by pufferfish (10/16/10 10:40 PM)

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#342279 - 10/16/10 07:54 PM Re: Mommy Dearest [Re: pufferfish]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Wow, Allen.

This is just like my mom. My mom was very narcissistic as well.

I can't write much about it now. Great post!!!

A

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#342285 - 10/16/10 09:20 PM Re: Mommy Dearest [Re: Avery46]
blaidd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 240
Loc: Australia
My nickname for my father is Daddy Dearest because of this movie. For me it is the perfect insult, along with a few other choice words. haha.

Fascinating analysis Allen smile

_________________________
Heal for Life Australian survivor retreat alumnus

Blaidd (pronounced as blaith/blithe) is a welsh word meaning wolf.

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