Last week one night my dad had been drinking, and as usual he brings up my abuse. I have been told that I was abused by a male baby-sitter when I was about two years old, however, I have no memory about it happening. When my dad brings this up, he tells me that I was seven yers old when it happened. "So, now I am seven when I was abused? I was told I was two." I said to my dad. "you were about six or seven." He says. I told my dad that I ddn't care how old I was and regardless of my age I have no memory about it and don't wish to discuss it.

When I told my dad that I didn't want to talk about my abuse, he got angry and insisted that I tell him if I was abused later on in life, by whom, and what happened. I told him that I didn't want to deal with the abuse. My dad got more upset and I thought that he was going to hit me, so I told him that my cousin and older brother abused me one separate occastions when I was about 10-12 years old. This is true, except I didn't tell my dad what they did to me or that my brother molested me over a period of about four years. My dad finally then went to bed and never spoke to me about it since. I am glad tht my dad was drunk in a way because he doesn't ever remember what had happened the ight before, which means he won't mention it to my brother or my cousin's parents, (who already know anyway.)

The reason my dad wanted to talk to me about my abuse is because I turned out to be gay(?) and he wants to know if it has anything to do with my being molested. I don't know if I am gay, but one thing I do know is that I don't want to be.

TW