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#341552 - 10/06/10 03:54 PM This forum
Marley Offline


Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 54
I just want to say thank you to whoever is responsible for coming up with this particular forum.

Marley



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#341568 - 10/06/10 07:28 PM Re: This forum [Re: Marley]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Marley,

The folks who oversee MS were insightful enough to see the need for this forum. It was a true affirmation for many of us here.

We are glad you are here posting. Welcome to the site and to this forum in particular.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#341592 - 10/07/10 07:11 AM Re: This forum [Re: prisonerID]
Marley Offline


Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 54
My psychiatrist suggested that I try to find an outlet for this type of issue so I did some searching but wasn't able to find anything like this, until now. I was surprised when I saw it here. I don't know that I'll be able to post or talk about these things, but just knowing it's here is good enough for now.

Thanks again.

Marley


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#341610 - 10/07/10 08:25 AM Re: This forum [Re: Marley]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Marley,

The disappointing, jolting and revolting thing is that there is very little out there for men who have been assualted as adults. Somehow this has got to be changed not only for us but for those who will be hurt in the future. Society has a duty, whether recognized or not, to fulfill the responsibility to all ASA men. I hope that day at least dawns in the not too distant future.

I am glad that you saw this forum for that is the hope it was created on here. That men would see that there is a place for them.

Don't worry about what you do or do not do here. If you simply wish to read here that is more than fine. I hope you will become comfortable enough to throw out your views at some point. I am just glad you are here with us.

It is nice to know the forum exists. It is a very powerful acknowledgment.


Take care,

Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

Top
#341617 - 10/07/10 08:42 AM Re: This forum [Re: prisonerID]
Marley Offline


Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 54
Daryl, thanks again for the reply on this.

Being a former guest of the state DOC, I know a handful of guys who were and continue to be adult victims of sexual and physical abuse. I am slightly nervous saying that here. The biggest problem is the mind-set that you better not "rock the boat" because once you do things will go from bad to worse. So we learn to accept it and say nothing.

The problem with freedom is if and when we decide to finally speak-up there is sure to be plenty of judgement. Again, the fear of not being believed, the fear of feeling like you got what you deserved, it all adds up to learning to keep your mouth shut and forget about it.

But what happens if you can't simply forget? I suppose that's when the real trouble starts.

Marley



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#341682 - 10/07/10 09:31 PM Re: This forum [Re: Marley]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Marley,

No matter the circumstances of an assault it is never the fault of the victim.

What goes on in prisons is so ignored and the desire exsits to say nothing happens there or it is not a real problem. It is the responsibility of society to stop this abuse and not look the other way. My heart goes out to those men you mentioned.

I have battled the fears you spoke of here. But now I fear staying silent any longer.

Thank you for sharing this with us. No judgment here - just acceptance.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

Top
#341699 - 10/08/10 07:51 AM Re: This forum [Re: prisonerID]
Marley Offline


Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 54
Daryl, you say no matter the circumstances of an assault it is never the fault of the victim? I wish I could believe that.

That way of thinking just doesn't exist in prison. If you're there, you're not a victim, you're a crimial, an animal, a piece of meat and no one cares much about what goes on or what happens inside. As I said to you in a message, if you are of the mind-set that everyone in prison is a perp, than you are of the mind-set that everyone serving time deserves what they get while they are there. That notion is just too big to fight against.

On another note, I'm the first one to say that if someone commits a crime they need to suffer the consequences, whatever they might be, for that crime. But there are a handful of people who are wrongly accused and wrongly convicted who get lost in the system.

Marley



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#341704 - 10/08/10 09:22 AM Re: This forum [Re: Marley]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Marley,

The time that I worked in a halfway house was a truly rewarding time. I still look back on those guys and wonder where they are now and what kind of lives they have now. I bonded with several and I learned a lot from them. I hated the folks I worked for - it was a money pit to them and the guys were just property. I often argued in meetings with the others there and was an odd duck to them. I was glad since I did not like them or how they treated some of the guys. I saw corruption in there that turned my stomach. I could not prove anything but knew it was happening. After I quit I did report them to the state.

I know it is hard to apply what I said to yourself. We all struggle with that. We can give to another but not so easily to ourselves. But if we wait for the world to say what we need we may never get it. So we have to do it for ourselves. Being incarcerated has nothing to do with whether someone is a victim or not. It is a circumstance someone has been placed in that makes it far easier for an assualt to take place.

Even if someone is guilty of a crime does not mean that they deserve to be raped. And I agree that there are men and women serving sentences that do not deserve to be there. Our justice system is far, far from perfection. I do not have the greates to faith in it myself. And I would say it is more than a handful who should not be in prison. And many more who should be who got away with their crimes.

Take it easy on yourself.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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