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#341169 - 09/30/10 01:03 PM Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Ouch.

That's not how it went on American Pie.


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#341173 - 09/30/10 01:35 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
More info here:

msnbc.com staff and news service reports msnbc.com staff and news service reports

The suicide of a university student after a recording of him having a sexual encounter with a man was broadcast online has stirred outrage and remorse on campus from classmates.

"Had he been in bed with a woman, this would not have happened," said Rutgers University student Lauren Felton, 21. "He wouldn't have been outed via an online broadcast and his privacy would have been respected and he might still have his life."

Gay rights groups say Tyler Clementi's suicide make him a national example of a problem they are working to combat: Young people who kill themselves after being tormented over their sexuality.

A lawyer for Clementi's family confirmed Wednesday that he had jumped off the George Washington Bridge last week .

Police recovered a man's body Wednesday afternoon in the Hudson River just north of the bridge, which connects New York and New Jersey, and authorities were trying to determine if it was Clementi's.

Tyler Clementi, left, is thought to have committed suicide, days after video of him was secretly webcast on the Internet. Clementi's roommate, Dharun Ravi, center, and another classmate, Molly Wei, have been charged in the case. Clementi's roommate, Dharun Ravi, and fellow Rutgers student Molly Wei, both 18, have been charged with invading Clementi's privacy.

Middlesex County prosecutors say the pair used a webcam to surreptitiously transmit a live image of Clementi having sex on Sept. 19 and that Ravi tried to webcast a second encounter on Sept. 21, the day before Clementi's suicide.

Collecting or viewing sexual images without consent is a fourth-degree crime. Transmitting them is a third-degree crime with a maximum prison term of five years.

Ravi wrote Sept. 19 on what is believed to be his Twitter page, which has since been deleted, but is still accessible though Google's cache system: "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."

"Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it's happening again," Ravi wrote in the Sept. 21 post.

Clementi's last cry for help?
The website Gawker reported that a user called cit2mo who posted messages on a website called JustUsBoys may have been Clementi.

In a thread called "college roommate spying," the post from cit2mo on Sept. 21 at 7:22 a.m. said: "so the other night i had a guy over. I had talked to my roommate that afternoon and he had said it would be fine w/him. I checked his twitter today. he tweeted that I was using the room (which is obnoxious enough), AND that he went into somebody elses room and remotely turned on his webcam and saw me making out with a guy. given the angle of the webcam I can be confident that that was all he could have seen," cit2mo wrote.

"Im kinda pissed at him (rightfully so I think, no?) ... I feel like the only thing the school might do is find me another roommate, probably with me moving out and id probably just end up with somebody worse than him ... I mean aside from being an asshole from time to time, hes a pretty decent roommate," he added.

He added at 9:28 a.m. that day, that "I feel like it was 'look at what a fag my roommate is' ... and the fact that the people he was with saw my making out with a guy as a scandal whereas i mean come on ... he was SPYING ON ME ... do they see nothing wrong with this? unsettling to say the least."

ABC News and The Star-Ledger of Newark reported that on Sept. 22 Clementi left a note on his Facebook page that read: "Jumping off the gw bridge sorry." On Wednesday, his Facebook page was accessible only to friends.

Even if the young violinist was not well known at his new school, his death stirred outrage.

"The notion that video of Tyler doing what he was doing can be considered a spectacle is just heinous," said Jordan Gochman, 19, who didn't know Clementi. "It's intolerant, it's upsetting, it makes it seem that being gay is something that is wrong and can be considered laughable."

Other students who did know Clementi were upset that they didn't do more to help him. "I wish I could have been more of an ally," said Georges Richa.

About 100 people gathered Wednesday night for a vigil on campus. They lay on the ground and chanted slogans such as, "We're here, we're queer, we're not going home."

Several gay rights groups linked Clementi's death to the troubling phenomenon of young people committing suicide after being harassed over their sexuality.

On Tuesday, a 13-year-old California boy died nine days after classmates found him hanging from a tree. Authorities say other teens had taunted the boy, Seth Walsh of Tehachapi, for being gay.

'Heartbroken'
Steven Goldstein, chairman of New Jersey-based Garden State Equality, said in a statement that his group considers Clementi's death a hate crime.

"We are heartbroken over the tragic loss of a young man who, by all accounts, was brilliant, talented and kind," Goldstein said. "And we are sickened that anyone in our society, such as the students allegedly responsible for making the surreptitious video, might consider destroying others' lives as a sport."

Rutgers University President Richard McCormick wrote in a letter to the campus.

"If the charges are true, these actions gravely violate the university's standards of decency and humanity," he said.

Coincidentally, the university on Wednesday was launching a new two-year Project Civility, designed to get students thinking about how they treat others.

A lawyer for Ravi did not immediately return a message seeking comment. It was unclear whether Wei had retained a lawyer.


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#341177 - 09/30/10 02:15 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
This is truly a horrible incident.
I can't imagine the pain of that boy. I can't imagine the pain of his parents.
I can't imagine why the roommate would EVER think that he could do such a horrible thing as "sport" or "fun."
I have been very, very saddened that this sort of thing can still occur.

(Shaun, I didn't see "American Pie," and, so, I don't know what you're talking about.)

A sad, sad day. Truly.

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#341180 - 09/30/10 02:35 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
This is truly a tragic event.

I can see how this lack of humanity and the sexual shame caused by this video can be so horrible.

A

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#341186 - 09/30/10 03:34 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: Avery46]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my brothers,

Real sad about those 2 boys mentioned above.

Why, do people get their jollies on tormenting gays?

Another human beings life destroyed by hate.

Rest in peace my brother.s. rest in peace.

Pete..Irishmoose.



Edited by petercorbett (09/30/10 04:44 PM)
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#341198 - 09/30/10 05:56 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: petercorbett]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I wonder how will they justify their actions now. I can imagine the ignorant rhetoric that will flow.

Makes me sick.

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#341220 - 10/01/10 04:01 AM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: prisonerID]
blaidd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 240
Loc: Australia
Incredibly sad to see these unnecessary & pointless tragedies occur as a result of bullying and homophobia. It goes to show how important it is to continually find ways of empowering young people by providing support thru agencies/organisations and via education campaigns. In addition I think it gives strength to the cause for there being anti vilification laws as a deterrent against hate crimes.



Edited by blaidd (10/01/10 04:15 AM)
_________________________
Blaidd (pronounced as blaith/blithe) is a welsh word meaning wolf.

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#341264 - 10/01/10 01:30 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: blaidd]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
It is a tragic event. It speaks to the immaturity and lack of supervisors for what are essentially still children. There is also the lack of moral development in these two kids which should have been looked after as they grew up.
I think no one under the age of 25 should be allowed ot post anything online and then they should be supervised and have each post checked until they are 30. If you disagree wait until you are 50 and look back at yourself and those around you at 25 and 30.

It is not a hate crime its a stupid crime. These guys didn't hate his gayness, one was his roomate, they enjoyed his insecurity and humiliating him kept this insecurity alive and active for them to enjoy.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#341315 - 10/02/10 01:02 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His Death [Re: kidneythis]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/02/nyregion/02suicide.html?hpw

IMO; I don't get Bias/Hate crime thinking. To me that involvves the idea that someone can read a perps mind. What I do see is two immature kids who did something very harmful that caused a death. I think that is involuntary manslaughter. This is a result that could have been forseen but their immaturity prevented this. They didn't mean to but the did cause his death so they are legally responsible.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#341566 - 10/06/10 07:16 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: kidneythis]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
I'm pissed off that the news channel made this out to be a gay bashing only event instead of seeing the bigger picture of cyber bullying and invasion of privacy which is causing suicides of both Gay AND Strait Youth across the country.
I think that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being Gay!!!!!

Adolescence and young adulthood is a trying time for for most people. Add harassment of any type and it makes things much worse for the person and much harder to deal with every day life!!!!!!

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#341572 - 10/06/10 09:22 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: Logan]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
The more I think about it the more it looks like a sex crime.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#341582 - 10/06/10 11:05 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: kidneythis]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: kidneythis
The more I think about it the more it looks like a sex crime.


Please tell us why you think so, kt.

Allen


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#341633 - 10/07/10 10:54 AM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: pufferfish]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Taping two people having sex without the consent of either seems to me to be a sex crime. Don't the cops arrest upskirt photographer's? Isn't this the same sort of thing?
Then putting it out via streaming over the net. This also seems to be a sex crime.

I have to believe these guys, Ravi ands Wei, have done things like this previously. There have got to be incidents in their pasts in which they displayed a similar lack of character development and depraved indifference to how their actions affect others.
You just don't spontaneously do this and stream it if you have normal moral development.

I understand the grey area this may fall into as a young man in the service as I have mentioned on here before my fellow and I engaged in foolish shennanigans I would put a stop to today. So I know from making juvenile decisions at that age.
But this wasn't that sort of testing you metal hazing/you're one of us now things. I think it is a sign of serial sex criminals at an early stage. If this had not ended in death what would they do for the next four years but continue to escalate?

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#341686 - 10/07/10 10:39 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: kidneythis]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
Honestly I don't see this as a hate crime. I see it as an evil crime.


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#341691 - 10/08/10 12:23 AM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: Marinan]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1341
I have been thinking about this ever since I heard about it.

What a tragic loss of life.

A friend of mine was trying to tell me that those who did this were "only 18" and that "kids will be kids."

To say I went off on him is an understatment.

This had nothing to do with "youthful indescretion" and had everything to do with a lack of respect and regard for others.

The behavior of those students was wrong on so many levels.

Where is their sense of decency to not disrespect others by videotaping their intimate moments?

Where are the boundaries and morals to not treat others with such disregard and as their lives are for their own amusement?

These, and other lessons of respect, should have been instilled in them, or at least introduced to them, from the time they could speak.

Either they were never given the moral guidance that makes for kind and compassionate human beings, or they disregarded those values and went in a very different direction.

I am certain if they were violated in a similar way there would be no end to the lawsuits and outrage they would bring forth.

The violation of boundaries, the lack of respect, the disseminating of very personal moments over a global network and the heinous insensitivity regarding his roommate's homoaffectional preference are disgusting.

Equally disturbing is the fact that neither of these students are taking responsibility for their lack of morals and decency.

The fact they are international students is irrelevant.

What is relevant is that they were more concerned with getting attorneys than to attempt to acknowledge or to apologize for their insensitive and irresponsible behavior.

Their young age is no excuse. If they have not yet learned the values of decency and respect by now, they never will.

They should have known better than to violate someone so cruelly and to think this young man's life was nothing but a joke.

My heartfelt sympathy goes out to his family and those who loved and respected him.



Anomalous

_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#341742 - 10/08/10 05:25 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: Anomalous]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Anomalous,

You nailed it perfectly. Their age is not an excuse at all to me.

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#341754 - 10/08/10 07:06 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: kidneythis]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: kidneythis
...seems to me to be a sex crime. Don't the cops arrest upskirt photographer's? Isn't this the same sort of thing? ...


thank you for typing that - i agree and never thought of it that way before.

i can't help but think that this child (compared to my age) was one of us. only my theory, but i do find it hard to believe that just being filmed, in 2010, for a same-sex act is enough to call it quits. there must have been a history far deeper than the public knows that led to his final decision. a complete shame no matter.

_________________________
Jeff

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#342000 - 10/13/10 11:18 AM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: westchesterguy]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
I agree with Jeff -- I think what this guy was dealing with was a lot more than just getting filmed -------- his hurt was probably similar to what most of us on here have had.

It is so tragic - he could not reach out for help.

This stuff makes me want to puke --- then do some unspeakable things to the people that tortured this man.

Those are my feelings --------------- and I won't apologize for them.



Edited by Sobernow (10/13/10 11:19 AM)

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#342003 - 10/13/10 12:00 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: Sobernow]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Yea but its still these tow Ravi and Wei who pulled the trigger, added the last straw, or whatever metaphor you'd like that tipped him the way he went rather than being decent human beings and tipping him the other way.
As oyu say this runs deeper than just the film and he must have shown signs of it. In my experience these signs are usually treated as weakness to be exploited in general American Society over the last few decades when it was formerly restricted to something done among relative equals most of the time prior. Ravi and Wei chose to exploit it rather than be decent human beings and offering him a place to feel secure.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#342215 - 10/15/10 10:25 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: Logan]
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
I think this is and excellent video on the subject. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4&feature=player_embedded

Richard


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#342240 - 10/16/10 11:37 AM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: KeithR]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
I hope they throw the book at the fuckers! I'm sure there must be numerous laws which were broken by that roomate.

K

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#343762 - 10/31/10 12:52 PM Re: Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape Jumps to His De [Re: sono]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Here's an article from todays Star Ledger. It seems the attorneys for the perps are starting the trial by public opinion cycle by trying to portray the perps as good kids and not sex pervs because they only saw kissing and it was just for "two minutes". I think two minutes means ten or more in reality but we'll see when the investigation is done.
All I have to say is; Do upskirt photogs get a break if their victim is wearing underpants? Do people who fail to murder get a break for failure? Does anyone trying to copmmit a crime get a break for failure or get to claim they had a different intent when they fail to get the result they hoped for at the outset?

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/10/dharun_ravi_and_molly_wei_saw.html

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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