I went to confession and mass on saturday. For at least the time I was there, I found some peace, hope, and a partial temporary release from the pain of my CSA. All this was from God. To those with beliefs different than my own, my recommendation is to follow whatever path to God you are on, or if you don't believe in any God, find something larger than yourself. The focus outside you, if not God, then nature or whatever, can help ease the pain for at least the time spent in it. Now if you believe in the bible, then the gospel I heard at mass may be very helpful. It was Jesus' story of the rich man and lazarus. Lazarus had a hard painful life, and after he died, angels carried him to the bosom of abraham ( heaven ). It was a reminder for catholics and other christians to take heart, because what awaits us beyond this life will be joyful and peaceful beyond what we can possibly imagine. My spiritual growth as a catholic christian, has, is, and especially will be, a big part of my recovery.