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#339612 - 09/05/10 11:41 AM Touch
violapoet730 Offline


Registered: 06/21/10
Posts: 8
Loc: Oklahoma
Touch

Even though I proceed to write about this experience which still escapes me, I cannot help but to wonder at it nonetheless. What is in a hand that gives a simple caress? One act that speaks volumes of what is meant by this gesture, but still the words escape me in describing how it pertains to matters of the heart. A matter that runs so deep that even when it is received unjustly in abuse, we still prefer what is unjust over not receiving it at all. From our birth, it is the mother's response to our tearful call, and if not received within these formative years, we then remain silent. It is our first experience of having a concept of a relationship, even though we are not fully aware of it at that stage in life. We long for it during our moments of stress and strife. It can mend and heal us even after having been cut by the sharpest knife. Yes, it is medicine to the soul, and it is no less effective even after we have grown old. I continue to write about this experience which still escapes me, and still I cannot help but to wonder much about how incomplete life would be without the simple sense of touch.


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#339613 - 09/05/10 12:00 PM Re: Touch [Re: violapoet730]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
You have caused me to sit and ponder this myself.

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#339638 - 09/05/10 07:20 PM Re: Touch [Re: prisonerID]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi violapoet730,

Touch is such a basic human instinct and need, I think we all need it, and need a connection with others in a simple physical sense. The abuse, though, clouds that for a lot of survivors and getting to where we can welcome a simple hug from others is monumental. Thanks for posting about this, it's a very important topic for so many survivors.

_________________________
Eddie

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#340933 - 09/27/10 11:21 AM Re: Touch [Re: EGL]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
Touch for me is a very confusing act -- and causes me to have ambivilant emotions.

If I am the instigator of touching -- it is OK - the feeling is good. But sometimes, if it is initiated by someone else (even my wife) - I am uncomfortable - even so much as to draw away emotionally and physically. Even simple acts such as holding hands can be a challenge for me.

In addition, I never remember my dad ever holding me or hugging me ------- much less kiss me. It is something I can now see had an impact on how I relate to touching. So thinking about masculine touch --- which society definitely has some weird rules and concepts about -- I am still just learning that safe masculine touch is OK and is not necessarily a come-on to have sex. I now make myself be a part of men's groups --- men's prayer huddles --- even make myself go to a men's retreat that church has twice a year (these things really take work for me).


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