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#341002 - 09/28/10 11:00 AM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: EvanCan]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
EvanCan,

It depends on the memories. You have to look at the memories that have already come up and see what they were like. If they were severe, or if there are still some gaps where you haven't remembered, then maybe you should continue to work with a T.

Even though I had some extremely severe memories, many were'nt too bad, especially like those memories from seeing the train show.

Allen

pufferfish


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#341007 - 09/28/10 11:14 AM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I have had memories come up as a result of seeing cartoons.

The first series of abusive events I experienced, I was 4 years old. I remembered the house we lived in on into adulthood. But the perp I couldn't remember too well directly.

Then someone else here in MS gave a link to a cartoon. I looked at it and recognized it as being in a setting where my dad worked at the time of the abuse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUYZYJ7XueI&feature=player_embedded#

(sorry, I see that this cartoon has been removed)

In another cartoon which is still available on dvd, I saw the location of abuse. I actually recognized it although I had seen it only one time. I had already remembered that the perp took me in his car on what I believe was a Saturday to where he and the others worked. We didn't have car seats then and I couldn't see out the window. They were making cartoons in the studio where he took me(this was a famous outfit - I don't feel free to give the name - maybe you could guess it). There were a bunch of grown men sitting around in chairs. The easels were covered with heavy cloth.
Then they proceeded to have an orgy. I was sitting with the perp on a day-bed and watched (not recommended for 4-yr-olds).

I'm going to try to find the cartoon and substitute a link here for the name of the cartoon.

Allen

pufferfish


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#341008 - 09/28/10 11:37 AM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Evan,
If you expect anyone outside of MS and your T's office to believe you, you will have to let them come up on their own w/o the "help" of a T.
I do not think a T can help bring up memories. There is no "digging" for them.
The only way things forgotten come back up is due to traumatic events that trigger them, or by going over the known events at any particular time of life, with input from someone who was there or knew at the time, and remembering them sequentially with the perceptions of others and their input added to your own knowledge. Then maybe something forgotten will come to you.
Anything else may be real but it will always be suspect. You can always call your therapist for help after recalling something.

Me, I have only ever wanted help dealing with the trauma that caused the memories to come back, but I can see that 10 or 20 years ago they may have caused me great trouble on their own. That would have been due to my fears and insecurities not mental unhinging.

EDIT
I recomend not telling people as you recall. Wait until it sorts itself into something coherent and is no longer the faded thing slowly coming into focus. People often tend to treat this as either an opportunity to rewrite history by trying to insert false information or to cross examine one resentfully as if it were their place to do so.





Edited by kidneythis (09/28/10 02:47 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#341019 - 09/28/10 02:16 PM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: kidneythis]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
Thank you, all, for your input.

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#341021 - 09/28/10 02:39 PM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: EvanCan]
traillius Offline


Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 260
I have temporarily halted attempts to recover memory. I will let it happen when and if my brain is ready.



Edited by traillius (09/28/10 02:40 PM)

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#341070 - 09/29/10 10:58 AM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: az7277]
chrisH Offline


Registered: 09/05/10
Posts: 6
Loc: GB
wish i had the answers for you but the truth is i need the same anwers to the same question, i wish you well with your recovery good luck from chrisH

_________________________
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

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#341611 - 10/07/10 08:26 AM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: chrisH]
JustSurviving Offline


Registered: 04/22/10
Posts: 47
Loc: Hell
Thanks for the replies.


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#341644 - 10/07/10 11:49 AM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: JustSurviving]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Here is another idea about recovering memories. This one is more important than some of the others i mentioned.

12. Observe your own reactions to people. If you are triggered by someone or even have an angry reaction, then try to analyze it and see what circumstances in your childhood or elsewhere conditioned you to react in that way.

Allen

pufferfish


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#341852 - 10/10/10 11:08 PM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
JustSurviving Offline


Registered: 04/22/10
Posts: 47
Loc: Hell
puffer,

Funny you should bring 12 up when you did... from about 10/6 I've been trying to do just that. I'm so far not very successful at it at all, but the effort is there.


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#341855 - 10/10/10 11:49 PM Re: How do you recover memories of abuse? [Re: JustSurviving]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: JustSurviving
puffer,

Funny you should bring 12 up when you did... from about 10/6 I've been trying to do just that. I'm so far not very successful at it at all, but the effort is there.


It isn't always the easiest thing to do.

Sometimes there are probably so many emotions firing at you. It probably seems like a confusing situation. Do you have a T? If you do, he could probably work with you on some of this.

Try to focus on one person who has upset or triggered you and then when you are in a quiet place, try to think: "Hmmmm, who does that remind me of from long ago?"

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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