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#340452 - 09/18/10 11:54 PM Why do I have stomach pain?
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
..,Is this the answer?

"If you ever feel unsafe or get a feeling in your belly that something is not OK, tell your parents, a teacher, or another trusted adult and KEEP telling until you get the help you need."

This is an excerpt from a "Keeping Comunities Safe" pdf dealing with talking to 3-9 year olds about sexual activity without scaring them.

I was in that age when I was abused, and so as I was reading that, and came across the above line, a light bulb cut on. I STILL feel that pain in my stomach, the stress and tightening when an emotion overwhelms me. Why do I still feel that pain? The answer, I feel, is because I have not told enough of my story to enough people, and therefore have not received the "help" I need.

I was abused at age 6 or 7 by my much older sister, who was abused herself a few years earlier. I was sexually abused by her for two to three years. I was physically abused by my parents. These have led to PTSD, anger management issues, and a slew of coping mechanisms. I now have a difficult time getting out of bed, and hide in a lifestyle that allows it.
I am beginning to be curious and open, much thanks to my MS brothers and WoR in Dahlonegha, Ga this year.
I have much to go, but I am more mobile and interactive than I have ever been, and I want to continue this.

I am anxious because I have not felt any earth shattering revelations of late, but I wonder if that is just recovery space, and I need to be patient, and adjust to an ever changing process that readjusts me from an abuse victim to a functional and successful abuse survivor, reviver and thriver.

Thank you, for hearing this, and wanting to help.

Sam

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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#340455 - 09/19/10 02:35 AM Re: Why do I have stomach pain? [Re: SamV]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1960
Growth and healing take time. For myself, I'll never make it all go away. But I will keep working toward a life that has been better than the one I have known. And I have seen improvements. It makes it all worth it. Sam, keep up the good work.

Eric


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#340519 - 09/20/10 12:26 PM Re: Why do I have stomach pain? [Re: ericc]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
(((ericc)))

Thank you, so much, yes exactly right. It takes time, and sometimes during that process, we want more than it is giving or we are capable of.
When that happens, we may not be sharing enough. So, I will work to share appropriately, and safely.

It is worth it, it is not impossible, but, "I'm"possible.

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#340562 - 09/21/10 11:43 AM Re: Why do I have stomach pain? [Re: SamV]
NDbiker Offline


Registered: 07/27/10
Posts: 37
Loc: North Dakota
Sam,

Thank you for posting that website. My wife and I(both having CSA) have had several discussions as to how we are going to teach our daughter(3 years old) to come to us. Everything that I had come across seemed geared towards adults. Too much information that she couldn't possibly relate to. This has been a great deal of anxiety for both of us. The amount of knowledge shared here because of individuals efforts is amazing and priceless to me. Every post has the potential to ease my pain and make my family's life better, for having read them.


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#340582 - 09/21/10 05:08 PM Re: Why do I have stomach pain? [Re: NDbiker]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1960
Sam,

You are totally possible. And you are worth the effort. Again, for me I accept it will always be here in one form or another. In the past, where I just wanted it to magically disappear, is gone. But I can get to a place where it does not control my life, where it is no longer front and center of all my thoughts. It might work its way back there from time to time, but it doesn't get to stay there. I think the road of recovery is full of ups and downs, hills and valleys. When we find ourselves in a down spot after having felt some up time, I think it often feels helpless, kind of like "why this again?" Whether we like it or not I think for many of us this is how it works and we have to step back and look at the bigger picture. I see that my life is getting better, slowly, but it is getting better. But when I have a bad day it is hard to remember that because well it hurts to have bad days. Keep reaching out and keep putting in the effort for yourself. You are for sure worth it. And you may find there are times you need to step back from recovery a bit to recharge yourself and gain some insight. All of it is part of the process and you can get better. We don't get some of the past back that was taken from us (though we can learn to see parts of our past in a new and more positive light), but we can take charge for today and help shape a better tomorrow. I know it hurts sometimes, but it really is worth it. Hope you are feeling a bit better. On a side note, I have gotten to a place where I have been able to disclose to more people and in doing so explain some of my past. It has actually felt pretty good. Stay strong and we are here for you.

Eric


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