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#339255 - 08/30/10 03:42 PM Tickling -- possible trigger warning
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Does anyone here get triggered by tickling? Either because it's unwanted touch or because tickling was used in context of abuse?

The man who abused me tickled me for long stretches of time. That's how the abuse started. He was supposed to be giving me a bath, and he would tickle me in various areas. I was on a ventilator and he removed the valve that allowed me to speak, so instead of the usual burst of laughter, his tickling was met by silence. It was gut-wrenching, to have someone tickle you like that without being able to scream.

My little cousin was over once and she tried tickling me to "make me smile." It was a normal thing cute little kids do, and normally I would have laughed and tickled her back. But instead of laughing I burst into tears and couldn't stop screaming.

And just now, I watched my wife playing with our little baby boy. She was putting on his socks and shoes, and she tickled his toes. Instead of making me smile, it made me cry and it made her VERY confused. She doesn't know the full extent of what my perp did and she doesn't know about the tickling.

This happened a few hours ago but even still, I can't stop shaking. My whole body feels full of this tension that never got released, and I don't know how to release it other than crying, which is the LAST thing I want to be doing. cry

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#339260 - 08/30/10 05:40 PM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: CruxFidelis]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
It was done to me too. I tell kids or adults that it's painful for me so that they do not try it with me. Physically it is painful for me. Most of the male adults in my life know why. Tell your wife, it would be good for her to be aware.

That's all I'll say. Guys here have been wanting me to keep my mouth shut.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#339262 - 08/30/10 05:58 PM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: usmc97]
stefalc1 Offline


Registered: 04/30/08
Posts: 41
Loc: london, uk
why have people wanted you to keep mouth shut on something like this
it obviously has effect but i think the confusion is with the kid thing
is there nothing but triggers in this life


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#339283 - 08/30/10 10:32 PM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: stefalc1]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
i can not stand to be tickled because my first perp use to always tickle .
it actually enrages me to the point of i could actually hall of and hit some one . seriously this is unacceptable to me
this is a huge trigger for me



Edited by nltsaved (08/30/10 10:33 PM)
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#339300 - 08/31/10 09:03 AM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: nltsaved]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
For me tickling is too invasive and unless it is in a controlled situation I cannot handle it. And the point of even harmless tickling is for the other person to lose some control and laugh involuntarily.

I was not truly tickled that night but certain ticklish areas were touched. For me it may just be the unexpected touching - even by females.

Crux, to me that was torture what that idiot did to you. I am so sorry for what has been left behind by the action. I can understand that a bit from my own situation. I could not speak out or physically move as I wished to that night.

One thing that has helped me is something suggested in a group therapy session. The therapists in the hospital would lead others to find the emotions from thier abuse since they never were able to before. I resisted it but one day towards the end of my stay I finally found the voice I did not have that night. I guess they heard me all over the place.

I still do it sometimes. When the tension builds up and I can feel the tension tightening up my body. I drive down the highway and I yell at the top of my lungs. And I sometimes yell the things I wish I could have said that night.

You might try it - not sure it will work for you but it might be worth a shot.


Daryl

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#339314 - 08/31/10 01:27 PM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: prisonerID]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3369
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
only my wife tickles me - and that's very rare - and only for a few seconds

as a child my brother pinned me to the floor and tickled me unmercifuly a few times (to the point of wetting myself - or untill I could barely breath though the laughter - I remember the laughter turning to hurt in my chest as it went on so long)

as an adult I'm really not very ticklish anymore - I've often wondered if my brother tickled it right out of me?

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#339685 - 09/05/10 11:22 PM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: TJ jeff]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi CruxFidelis,

Given what you went through and the associations you make with that, it seems only normal that you would have issues with this kind of touch. Memories associated with the abuse can come flooding back in all sorts of ways from the most seemingly insignificant things, but still they do. Have you talked to a therapist about this particular issue to see if there are ways to help deal with it? I hope you do, because loving touch like this should be something you should be able to enjoy with others. Wishing the best for you with this.

_________________________
Eddie

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#340417 - 09/18/10 03:15 PM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: EGL]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
I just now found this post. And it made me shiver.
My perps would jointly tickle me to the point where I could not breathe. I would gasp and gasp -- no words could come out -- thinking that I was going to suffocate.
Then they would remove my clothes and the rest of the abuse would follow the tickling.
Now, whenever someone innocently tickles me even slightly, I just shudder and almost melt down. I have to pull away. I have learned to be brave enough to look the "innocent tickler" in the eye and say, "I really, really hate that."
It sort of freaks them out, but they stop.
I understand that most folks think that tickling is innocent, but for my own sanity I have to tell them "no."
I no longer feel like I owe them an explanation for my asking them to stop violating my personal space.
I've got shivers even as I finish typing this ...

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#340419 - 09/18/10 03:39 PM Re: Tickling -- possible trigger warning [Re: EvanCan]
era1 Offline


Registered: 09/15/10
Posts: 2
Loc: Texas
For me being touched regardless of the reason triggers as is being within a few feet of a person. Tickling has rarely happened to me because i haven't had loving or innocent personal contact with another person since my mom died when i was 9. But I can feel even now that the thought of being tickled, even innocently by somebody i know, would still trigger me badly.

I'm sorry that it was used in an abusive way against you.



Edited by era1 (09/18/10 03:40 PM)

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