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#340085 - 09/12/10 04:31 AM Re: female companion to a male incest victim [Re: rebecca24]
rebecca24 Offline


Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 34
Loc: AZ
i agree with pattycakes it is the best thing that has happened to me as well and i am trying to lead this man to safety and take care of his needs the best i am able. He wanted friendship and he found one through me. I am an advocate for the government and that was when we met. Sometime he can be possitive but at other time s feels lost. We have had excellent talks about the bible and he encouraged me to go into ministry


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#340086 - 09/12/10 04:33 AM Re: female companion to a male incest victim [Re: rebecca24]
rebecca24 Offline


Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 34
Loc: AZ
i agree with pattycakes it is the best thing that has happened to me as well and i am trying to lead this man to safety and take care of his needs the best i am able. He wanted friendship and he found one through me. I am an advocate for the government and that was when we met. Sometime he can be possitive but at other time s feels lost. We have had excellent talks about the bible and he encouraged me to go into ministry


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#340120 - 09/12/10 06:37 PM Re: female companion to a male incest victim [Re: rebecca24]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, rebecca24.
. He loved me..He told me so.
I am probably the last person in the world one would ask that question to.

I was in an emotionless marriage (strictly on my part). My (separated) wife of 36 years gave me 100% of herself. I gave her none-zero. She gave me 2 fine sons, one from a previous marriage and one from us two. In March of last year, i just walked out the door of our apartment. There were no hugs. There were no kisses. There were no goodbye's. No thanks & finally no tears. No emotions from me at all.

I was never taught those necessary skills of emotions & social interaction between boys & girls. I never really had any interactions with girls/females, save for that young German lady whom tried to date me. She seemed to like me for who i was (then) as i really was emotionally immature, socially immature and also sexually immature. I never really felt just right with her.

Now, intamicy in the bedroom. Well, we had a son together. But, i never was one for intimacy with a female. I never had any emotional/sexual connection to them.

But, i have had tons of emotional connections with males, both sexually & non sexually. From my age of 10 onward to today, i have always been in a male dominated world.

MAY BE DISTURBING TO READ.

Ralph, was (the "mom" & dad,) that i never had. I have never seen my dad. But had a sister 3 years younger. (A miracle birth)? I had always loved Ralph, right up to a few months ago.
He, loved me. HE TOLD ME SO. I went with strangers, because they loved me too. I've had a few homosexual affairs over these years. No female has ever given me those emotional & sexual pleasures than have the males in my life.

In, my opinion in answer to your question is. Just maybe like me they might not have been sure of their sexuality. For me, i liked it, i wanted it, it made me feel good, i went back for more & i even instigated it. So, just what was I? I must have been gay, because of what i had just written. Or, am i bi-sexual? Or, am i straight?
With all of that baggage now having come to the surface that is probably something very powerful for him to sort out. But, with your kindness & understanding i think that you both can work out that fear of intimacy.

First, it was his "mom" abusing/controling him, and now his sister.

He surely, needs a loving (Non controling) steady hand, to help him over his fears.
He is very lucky to have you to help soothe & guide him.
I wish you both well on both well on your road to recovery.

'I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As HE is ME.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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