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#33964 - 11/14/03 10:43 AM Haircut Today :(
RemittentPeace Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/06/03
Posts: 19
Today I have to get a haircut. Haircuts are EXTREMELY stressful for me, almost a trigger. I don't know why, I think it may be the relative position. I have been using a baseball hat but it can't work anymore. I don't know if I can do it. I just needed to talk about it. I wish there was some other way. Perhaps have a friend cut hair? If any of you can think of solutions I would like to hear them. If anyone has the same issue I would like hear also.


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#33965 - 11/14/03 10:47 AM Re: Haircut Today :(
RemittentPeace Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/06/03
Posts: 19
PS I am sorry if this thread is dumb. My mom just told me I look bad without haircut, but she doesn't mind that I look ugly. \:\(


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#33966 - 11/14/03 11:40 AM Re: Haircut Today :(
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
Its not dumb. Sounds like a trust issue. Having a person who you trust and who understands your comfort level problem cut your hair is a good idea. Then you can stop them if it gets uncomfortable. You can do it in a place that is comfortable. Maybe you can stand up even. And take it at a pace that is comfortable. You can do a little trimming yourself though the back is hard but just trimming it up a little may get people off your back about it. Doesn't have to be perfect does it, just a little shorter.

Finally, the feelings you are having are more important than the haircut. Take care of those first. The hair isn't really that important and can wait if it has to.

Brett

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

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#33967 - 11/14/03 12:18 PM Re: Haircut Today :(
newMom Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 19
Loc: anywhere
Dear RemittentPeace,
I do not think it is dumb at all. Having your haircut is a very personal thing. Someone else is grooming you and in your personal body space. I have had two foster sons both had a problem with grooming in general, but especially with haircuts. They did not trust anyone. I cut everyone's hair in my immediate family. It did hurt my feelings that they at first did not want me to cut their hair. I do a nice job! I really wanted them to look nice! I was so very proud of them.

My first son's hair was very long before he let me cut it. He never reached a point where he really liked me cutting it. My second son got to where he enjoyed the attention, but he always said ugly things to me. I kept his hair very short and I always trimmed around the ears and neatened up his eyebrows. He was always getting compliments.

I have only had my haircut one time by someone other than my Mom. It felt really weird and now
I know it would me make me anxious to have someone else touch my hair!

I would ask your friends who they would recommend and feel comfortable with. Maybe you have a friend that cuts hair. I know some young guys and girls who cut their own hair and their friends.

I am sorry that your Mom feels the way she does. You sounded so sad. I hope something
will bring you happiness today!

Kindest regards,
newMom


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#33968 - 11/14/03 01:59 PM Re: Haircut Today :(
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
Nope...not dumb!!!

I came from a home with hairdressers as parents, owning their own shop.

I don't live around them any more, so needless to say, I look like a...a...mop before I do anything about it. My daughter is almost 16, so I let her do it.

Like New Mom, I do everyone else's in the house. Some of my kids have never been to a barber!

I agree...find someone who you trust in your 'space'. I like my daughter, I don't like the people at the salon in my face!

Happy hunting!

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

Anne Lamott

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#33969 - 11/15/03 02:22 PM Re: Haircut Today :(
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I do not have stress over that, although I can understand why you maybe would. I had to go to dentist this week, which is something major trigger of me, so I can relate to what you say. Maybe have a friend go with you, who can talk with you and distract you of what is going on? is just thought. I hope you are all right.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#33970 - 11/20/03 12:16 AM Re: Haircut Today :(
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
RemittentPeace,

I find the trip to the barber to be a wonderful experience. I get attention and don't get abused.

I have always perfered the old time barber shops. The salons and chain places do make me a bit nervous.

In the old time barbers, the barbers talk to you while your hair gets cut. The next time you come back for the next cut, the conversation continues where it left off. I do miss the shaves with the straight razor.

Bring a friend with you, s/he can join in the conversation and stand next to you the whole time.

It would be different if it was a bikini wax, but I don't get those. When I was in the hospital for one of my knee surgeries, the male nurse started shaving about 2" below the knee and continued up and up and up, until I stopped him. That made me uneasy, very uneasy. He also shaved my chest (at that time I had 3 chest hairs, I'm up to 8), I questioned this shaving, it wasn't done for the previous surgeries or the EKG I had before I could have that surgery. I kicked him out of my room.

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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