wanted to come back and say hi.

sorry i havent been around.
trying to get my stuff in order for the winter.

i read this again and want to say thx for the replies.

its been hard for me to figure it out and especially
to accept that ya ok maybe some ppl care. i know ppl
here care cuz ive come and gone but the same guys who
cared about me from the beginning still do.
and im pretty sure i met a couple in real life who care.
guess its not hard to accept that some people care, its more hard to let myself be cared about. if that makes any sense.

guess im still afraid to make a real friend. i mean what if
i do, what if i take that chance and something happens and im
let down again? dissapointed again? i mean how many times can
i put myself in a situation where im gonna get hurt somehow?
but if i dont ever take the chance, how will i know?
and how long can i expect people to wait around for me to
figure out the crazy in my head?
and am i even worth the effort?
ugh

its messed up. things get a lot better then they
get a lot worse and i just dont know what to expect
or who im even gonna be from one day 2 the next.
its confusing.

Thanks for writing out whats been in my head recently, saved me the trouble.

The truth of it is...yes, I do care about you. That's why I'm happy when I see you've posted or you pop up to chat. Keep up the good fight bro, I'm not going anywhere. See ya around

Shane

anytime

i care about you - and am glad to hear back from you today.

My, brother Zak,

Welcome back..Welcome HOME..That's how i feel, here i am HOME.

You still have my compassion, understanding & love.
You can count on it.

My, brother, Zak, you have this Irishmooses, love.

Heal well my brother, Zak, heal well.....again welcome HOME.

Pete..Irishmoose.

Hi Zak,

On the making friends thing, I hear and understand you there. For so long, I kept everyone at arm's length because I was afraid of what they would want from me, and also afraid they would eventually abandon the friendship if they saw me as I saw me. It's hard to make ourselves vulnerable like that, it really is. But it's pretty guaranteed what the results will be if we don't - no friendships. So it's a risk we take and sure, there will be some who will let us down terribly. But some of them will also exceed our expectations greatly, so it's been we'll worth the risk for me. All the best to you.

My heart hurts with you Zak