I have come to recognize that online porn has me confused about sex and relationships. I find that I will recreate my abuse in some way when selecting something to view. I'm beginning to work on this with my T. Any thoughts from you on this subject?
I recommend that you stop looking at porn right now and perhaps for good if you are finding that it is confusing you with sex and relationships. Porn can definitely skew the type of men you are looking for and the type of sex you want as well. This happens to all men whether they have suffered sexual abuse or not if they watch porn too much.
Porn definitely can activate past sexual abuse. It doesn’t have to mean that it is wrong or bad to watch it. Sexual abuse often becomes eroticized and the mind’s unconscious intent is to return to the scene of the crime this time to solve it. However, porn will not solve it, it just recreates it.
I am glad you are talking about this with your therapist. There is a good book on this topic called, “The Porn Trap” by Wendy Maltz which I highly recommend.
Warmly, Joe Kort