It is so good that you are standing by your husband, V. I am reading a book by Marie H. Browne, "If the Man You Love Was Abused." Only part way through, but it resonates with all our married life. He had told me some of it when we first dated, more has come out as time went on. But he copes through defensiveness and anger. He was a drug addict, but thank God, he is long since done with all that. We have been through hell and back in sorting out all our junk together. We still have issues, but me being the researcher and reader, I have learned so much to help us both fight. And I learned how to pray and trust God for answers. I hope you look on the resource guide they have here and find some answers. I believe that book I mentioned is there also.
If he will go for counselling that will probably make all the difference in the world. My husband never did. We had a terrible time; almost split up. As you know, this stuff doesn't go away. His pain can shape him into a more compassionate man in time. Let your love remain strong and you get all the help you can for yourself. Another book I am reading is "The Sexual Healing Journey," by Wendy Maltz. (A guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse).
My prayers are with you. The alcohol won't work forever. God is setting me and my husband free. I wish you both the best.
And again and again Jesus said: It is I, I that you love, I that you enjoy, I that you serve. It is I that you long for, I that you desire, I that you mean. It is I that am enough for you. (Julian of Norwich)