Amen................

Hi, my fraternal brothers,

I sure wish that i could have your faith, and keep it.

Where was God, then? & where is he now?

I, am wishy washy on believeing in him. Sorry.

Heal well, my brothers, heal well.

Pete.. Irishmoose

I'm learning everyday we all find our own way to try and heal. For my part I do feel God directing me and caring for me but completely respect anyone else's personal view. Thanks for the support and be well.

A note to all who wonder where He was then and even now....don't you see Him in every word spoken here through the men who have gone through all the pain you endured? If the Bible says anything at all...it says: Surely, He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. One way that we can FEEL and SEE and HEAR is through each other's pain. I know it may sound trite, but being a survivor and married to one, I know He carries us through the kindness and 'touch' of others. I know He was 'there' because He brought us through to this side. The journey is not over. It is on going until we see His Face. Then the healing will be complete. Please reach up, hang on (for dear life). It is there. HE is there.

You ask... where was God, then?

***possible triggers****

Well, he sure as heck didn't take a vacation. I believe he was right there, inside my heart, feeling what I felt and hearing the screams that could never escape my throat. He shed many tears for me. He kept watch while I passed out from the pain. Although I smelled horrible and my body was broken and dirty, the blood and water that gushed forth from His Sacred Heart made my heart clean. Yes, he allowed the assault to happen. Free will is a dreadful thing sometimes but it is what allows us to truly love someone. If we're going to have a world where people are able to choose between good and evil, then yes, there will be people who do horrifyingly evil things. And yeah, I can believe in a God who allows this because I also have the free will to choose good over evil, to love others, to give of myself freely. If God didn't indirectly allow my perp to disobey His teachings, then I wouldn't have the freedom to love with abandon. He takes the evil in this world and he allows good things to come out of it, like flowers growing out of cracks in the sidewalk. His heart breaks for me, and for all of you who are in pain because someone in your life did something very, very bad.

At least that's what I tell myself now. In the moment of my torture, I didn't feel His presence, I only felt a pain that split my body in two. As I lay being assaulted, I clearly heard my tormenter speaking his sadistic words, I did not hear God's reassuring voice.

I don't have it all figured out and what I believe intellectually isn't always what I feel.

You said what my heart feels.

that my friend was truly truly inspiration from the heart and so very very true could not have said it any better

I keep coming back to read everyone's comments. It helps everyday. Be well all and I will try hard to do the same....

James it was good as always chatting today. Thanks for the support and kind words of Faith. God Bless.

James this is still one of my favorite posts. It was good talking to you today in chat.