I have recently returned to MS afterbeing absent for several months. I have recently began addictions counseling for using POT and heavy drinking.
Both have gotten way out of hand for me and
Its been seriously hard dealing with ssa and how complex it is for me. Its something which people who know me even though they may have knowledge that I have dealt with csa they still don't and can't understand how my head works. Why its so hard to make friends, male friends at that along with my issues with trust, communication, sexuality, the twisted side and depths of my ssa...
These factors often bring me to the brink of tears and to a low place where my drug and alcohol use might leave me perminently. I'm struggling with this, my weight and am frustrated with my T not seeing my adhd and helping me by talking to my dr. About it.
Its taken me 2 days to even finish this post.
Feel like a mess today.
Thanks for reading.
Sean

it my it is like looking in the mirror 7 yrs ago . i can relate to you in so many ways. all i can say is there is hope there can be battles one and yes you will loose some . focus on were you have came . even if it a little step forward concintrate on this. of course you have reason to look at all he bad but keep your eye on the prize. no one who has not gone throught this could not possibly understand what we go through each and every day. but for those of us that have we can feel your pain and we share in your pain you are so not alone. do not be convinced otherwise . you are fighting this thing keep up the fight on the atack do not be attacked. i am glad you are posting here getting it out do not keep it in. we are all here in support on these bad days and we will be here when you have victories over these tough times. i no it is hard focus on anything possitive and give yourself some credit here . hell just still being here on is a positive you fighting for this is positive keep up the fight . i believe in you it might not be much but i have been were you are and i have overcome so take it from me from experience there really is hope . pm me if you want lets fight this thing together !! we can not let this control our life it is time for us to control our life not the abuse and you posting here is a great sign you are in the fight . hope this helps

bless you man i feel your pain and acknoledge your pain and will be praying for you in all seriousness that you will be an overcomer and one day look back and think WoW i made it .

battled with weed , drinking and any other drug you can name and i NEVER EVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAYS SOBER !! I WAS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE LOWEST PIT AND NOW WITH 7 YRS SOBER I CAN STAND HERE BEFORE YOU AND SAY YES I CAN YES I CAN YES I CAN AND SO CAN YOU !!!!

Well dude - you made the first step by asking for help. Thanks for sharing with us and yes, dealing with SSA and CSA and the associated mental junk is difficult to do because you end up having to do it every day.

At least at the start.

You struggle with a personal problem that fewer people understand than say, alcoholism or drug addiction. As such - there really isn't a defined narrative for how it's all supposed to go. Tons of movies out there for recovering alcoholics but no movies for survivors of CSA. You might say that CSA is like radiation in that you can't see it, smell it or taste it but it can harm you in ways that people can't readily see.

So feel free to continue dumping and keep working with a T even if it isn't your current one. Just keep walking, man, that's all you can do.