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#338435 - 08/16/10 04:59 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: pufferfish]
GeorgeMartin Offline


Registered: 12/29/07
Posts: 193
Loc: USA
I was diagnosed with D.I.D., PTSD, Depersonalization Disorder, Manic Depressive, Schizotypal, Schizophrenic, and Immature Personality Disorder.

I am not a Can of Soup! The first three were correct disgnostic determinations. The latter were misdiagnosis' by people who didn't and probably still don't think D.I.D. is even a real condition.


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#338442 - 08/16/10 06:13 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: GeorgeMartin]
GeorgeMartin Offline


Registered: 12/29/07
Posts: 193
Loc: USA
Let me clarify my previous position. IF the amnesia doesn't exist between "alters" (personalities) then it is perhaps between usually the "host" personality (the one that maintains function "most" of the time and the "other" personalities.

Or the "host" personality is aware of some of them, yet the internal personalities are not aware of the "others" personalities who are internal. Or the internal personalities are not aware of the "host" personality, though usually they are aware. Amnesia between personalities has to be part of the clinical picture of the client for them to be diagnosed with D.I.D. or else they would not be truely D.I.D. now would they?


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#338457 - 08/16/10 11:42 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: FormerTexan]
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
A movie called The Heart is Decieteful Above All Things made me cringe at certain parts.

_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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#338571 - 08/18/10 02:00 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: GeorgeMartin]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
The movie: Song For a Raggy Boy caused anxiety for me.

Originally Posted By: GeorgeMartin
Let me clarify my previous position. IF the amnesia doesn't exist between "alters" (personalities) then it is perhaps between usually the "host" personality (the one that maintains function "most" of the time and the "other" personalities.

Or the "host" personality is aware of some of them, yet the internal personalities are not aware of the "others" personalities who are internal. Or the internal personalities are not aware of the "host" personality, though usually they are aware. Amnesia between personalities has to be part of the clinical picture of the client for them to be diagnosed with D.I.D. or else they would not be truely D.I.D. now would they?


George, you have hinted at the potential complexity of the disorder (DID). It not only varies considerably from person to person but varies in time within the same person.

For instance, I have dissociated the visual field of my left and right eyes. That is a hard sucker to deal with.

I had a traumatic lapse of my amnesia when I was about 45. Before that I must have had an amnesia between alters which then also collapsed. I realized I was a 12-year-old boy alter* and I felt that was my "core" or main person. Here was a "core" who was not a "host". (The boy alter was suppressed or not allowed "out" as far as I can remember). I also had some miscellaneous and sundry other child alters. But I retained my adult, educated alter who was a teacher. I had very little amnesia between these. And there may have been a couple of others, like musician and a impoverished raggy boy and sexy boy. Actually, impoverished raggy boy might have been my core. These are all somewhat mysterious. What went before is all a mystery at this point since it all evaporated.

There is a case of DID I have read about in the book by Marilyn VanDerber, Miss America by Day. In that book, she was a consistent person during the daytime but her abuse had been at night. She never says so explicitly, but the implication was that she was a different alter at night.

I'm still trying to work all this out and I've resumed writing a journal in hope that I can figure it out. To figure it out is to be 95% healed of it. Often I feel like an adult raggy boy these days (whatever that is) (see the movie: Song for a Raggy Boy)

Allen

pufferfish whistle

* a boy alter is not the same as an alter boy. A boy alter is an alternate personality who is still a child. An alter boy is a boy who has some role in the rites of the Catholic church. smile



Edited by pufferfish (11/29/10 09:59 PM)

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#338582 - 08/18/10 04:56 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: pufferfish]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
I tend to navigate towards these kind of movies because I really have few emotions towards my own abuse but when I watch these movies they bring out this lack of emotion and I get pissed or saddened or some other emotion I don't usually feel about my own abuse. On real bad movies such as "Mysterious Skin" or "Where the Wild Things Are" (mostly that one because that book literally kept me alive when I was a kid) I may need to take breaks, but they don't upset me.

A few weeks ago I watched "The Heart is Deceitful Above all Things" and that movie screwed me right up. The particular scenes when it happened I was so triggered I puked. I had nightmares to the point where I was puking several nights after. I don't know why, it just got it right I guess.


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#338615 - 08/19/10 02:43 AM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: Riley]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1241
Loc: NY
Yeah Ryan, I know the exact feeling, actually from that exact movie! "The Heart is Deceitful Above all Things," is a revoltingly trigger-infested movie for me.

I have puked from severe triggers before, but not from movies. From nightmare/flashback/relive-the-memory, type of triggers, I have vomited.

My advice is to try to avoid stuff like that; especially visual stuff. That is unless your intention is to trigger a response to the media or stimuli.

Take care, Buddy
Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#338708 - 08/20/10 05:34 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: pufferfish]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1241
Loc: NY
Quote:
I had (and still have somewhat) the depersonalization disorder. I think this comes to kids who get tortured and they lose their sense of identity.


Allen. I have been diagnosed with Derealization Disorder. I think that the way that it comes about, Torture, severe deprivation of normalcy for extend periods to kids, like in your and my case can bring about either disorder: derealization or depersonalization. I am not certain of this, I just believe the disorders to be related and maybe the causes are related as well. When I was diagnosed with Derealization Disorder, the trauma specialists told me that I had many symptoms of Depersonalization, so maybe it is just how one person copes as to another, which one their mind chooses to use.

I very weird when I disassociate with this. I feel Like I am not real and I am in a dream and everyone around me is also not real.
It almost feels like I am underwater, I know that sounds strange. Its very difficult to describe. I also feel virtually nothing when like this but it is difficult to get out of it- the best grounding technique for me that I have learned is to hold ice-cubes in my hands for a while.

Great information, Allen. You're Very knowledgeable on this subject.

Your Pal,
Logan



Edited by Logan (08/20/10 05:37 PM)
_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#338714 - 08/20/10 08:10 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: Logan]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Logan,

Thank you for your reply on this subject. I don't feel very knowledgeable about depersonalization and derealization disorders. I definitely have a constellation of symptoms, which I talked over with my T yesterday, but they don't seem to line up with the "textbook" (DMSIV) definition of depersonalization. So I haven't figured it out yet. My T seems to think it's depersonalization. It's getting better but when I went to work on the memorial thread for Liri I had a very real relapse for some reason.

I have a couple of books on this subject and there is a bunch of stuff on the internet. But as I say, it's confusing because it doesn't seem to line up with my stuff. My T is leaving for a trip to "Lake Winnepesaukah" for a few weeks so I'll just have to hunker down (whatever that means frown ) and do some reading.

Allen




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#338718 - 08/20/10 09:08 PM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Here's a story about kidnap with a strong involvement of the Stockholm syndrome:

The movie A Perfect World.

Allen

pufferfish whistle




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#338735 - 08/21/10 02:47 AM Re: Movies Which Cause Anxiety [Re: pufferfish]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1241
Loc: NY
Taken from the Wiki-site:
"Derealization is a subjective experience of unreality of the outside world, while depersonalization is unreality in one's sense of self. Although most authors currently regard derealization (surroundings) and depersonalization (self) as independent constructs, many do not want to separate derealization from depersonalization.[2] The main reason for this is nosological, because these symptoms often co-occur, but there is another reason of great philosophical importance, namely, that the phenomenological experience of self, others, and world is one continuous whole. Thus, feelings of unreality may blend in and the person may puzzle over deciding whether it is the self or the world that feels unreal to them." The underlined section is the original point I was trying to make.

I also want to that severe sleep Deprivation can cause my senses to become very similar to this and can cause severe dissociation in myself. Basically the feeling is the same therefore I will say that symptomatically(the way in which the present themselves) they are related.

Allen, I am going to look more into the last thing that you said before I reply'
-Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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