Seems like I'm never told anything. I was supposed to go to my brother and sister-in-law's house for an early birthday party for my neice tonight. They are doing this because they will be away on her actual birthday. Anyway, when do I find this out?? This morning. So I now have to drop everything and go out and get a card and a present My biggest problem with this is it seems like I am supposed to go whether I want to or not. I would have gone had a known earlier and didn't feel like I was being told what I must do. I had to fake being sick which is easy because I have gout (which is a arthritic type condition that comes and goes) but I shouldn't have had to.

Your relatives are the ones being flaky here, not you. Calling someone the morning of an event is not enough notice for most people. Usually if it's a casual, spur-of-the-moment gathering, there shouldn't be pressure for the invited person to attend. If they really wanted to honor their daughter's birthday, they would have used better time management and thrown her a proper party. If they are giving you guilt trips for not dropping everything for their flighty plans, then it is a good thing to be assertive with them. Just simply say that you would have made time for the party if they gave you enough notice, but that it's disrespectful to you to send last minute invitations and make you feel obligated to drop everything for them.